Forests are treated with the utmost respect partly due to the natural world being better treated now the magical battles have stopped and partly because all know many kinds of creatures live in these woods.  Naturally not all of them are friendly!  Some of the trees themselves are open to question on that too. 

Forests are far greater in scale than we have in Britain with a wider variety of trees and shrubs but some Earth species have been imported here.  The Kingdom is not above pinching things it likes.  The Queen has a Forest Keeper, who, with the aid of the transporter trees, and six deputies cares for the forests.  Wood is taken to be used as it is here on Earth but it is always done in a sustainable way.  As far as the Kingdom is concerned there is no other way.

Most species have their own gardens though the sprites take almost no interest in theirs.  They tend to use their personal space to practice what magic/moves they’re going to use the next time they fight another group of sprites!  Elves do garden, appreciating the beauty of plants in themselves and knowing the sprites have no clue.  There is much pleasure to have from being snobbish with justification. 

Dwarfs tend to have a practical streak and so focus on growing food.  Elves naturally go for beauty, not practicality.  The trolls and orcs just see their land as their land - why do anything with it other than defend it to the death?   The Queen is and remains the only royal to take any interest in gardening, though all the fairy royals are devoted to flora and fauna generally.  There is no Alan Titchmarsh figure as yet in the realm though the Queen has dropped hints she would like to see gardening programmes similar to those she’s seen humans have but tailored to the needs of the magical world.  We may need to worry about slugs.  They worry about giant, meat eating slugs!

Jenny has no interest in life in the Kingdom which pleases her mother and infuriates the Queen.  Having said that, Jenny is coming to realise she is going to have to know something.  Her survival might depend on her knowing enough.  Eileen has thoughtfully lent Jenny her books, some of which the godmother helped write articles for, not that this cheers Jenny up.  She has found certain books wonderful to read though - light in style and with brilliant illustrations - but Jenny subconsciously resents the fairy world for coming up with something lovely like this.  She just wants to hate the whole magical world and have done - it’s easier from her viewpoint.  And on Earth Jenny now takes a very jaundiced view on the old fairy tales, stories she once dismissed as harmless, entertaining enough, though she now queries the harmless bit.

Generally the villages are left alone to run themselves which suits everyone just fine. There are 7 Kingdom regions and 22 Council members representing each of the species. Each major area within these regions has its representative on the Council.  L’Evallier is very good at carrying out his “constituency” duties though most of the Council see it as one of those things they just have to do.  Eileen has realised she and the Queen meet and greet the hoi polloi far more often than the Council does. The Queen tours most of the regions regularly though she ignores the barren areas.  Eileen feels it’s because the monarch doesn’t want to come face to face with proof where magic was harmful, at the damage it did and the fact the land in places is going to take centuries to recover, hardly a good advert for the magical world.

There aren’t rubbish collections as we know them.  Every household is expected to incinerate its own waste with the standard spell designed for this.  The spell has variants attached to it to tackle different materials.  It is also expected that incineration only takes place when reusing something really isn’t possible.  Each household pays a small amount to their local leaders to cover the administration of their mini Councils but expenses are not paid. 

Local leaders are expected to do it for the love of the village/town.  Having said that the job is held in high esteem and there is usually no shortage of volunteers for the role.  For one thing you are practically guaranteed to meet the Queen and the Council at some point and those that serve their communities well are often rewarded with extra magical powers.

Monstrous creatures are mainly created by those witches and wizards who are determined not to fit in with any society they don’t dominate. There are natural monsters too, beasts with claws and fangs, kind of like mini dinosaurs, who keep themselves to themselves with good cause.  They have no wish to be exploited by the evil or destroyed by the “good”.  They could do with a Simon King like guy broadcasting a sympathetic portrayal of them. 

The Kingdom as a whole uses creatures like unicorns (though in fairness they are treated well and rewarded for their service) but doesn’t see the need to support habitats or to leave creatures alone to lead their lives in peace.  It is no coincidence that the most unwanted beasts live in the barren areas.  It is no surprise either they know why those areas are barren or that they loathe all magical practitioners as a result.  These creatures know they’ve been dumped on.

The Queen’s Head Cook guards her recipes and papers as jealously as her boss and sovereign guards the fairy royal powers!  The Head Cook sets the daily menu and those working under her have to cook in the pre-determined way - that is what she thinks is right.  In fairness, the meals prepared are delicious and the Head Cook generally is right but don’t look for invention and originality here.  It has only been the Queen’s insistence that cuisine from other worlds makes a regular appearance that anything new comes on to the menu at all.  Some of these new dishes go down well (lasagne, pizza, casseroles), others do not (the idea of toad in the hole has totally been misunderstood here!  They look for the toads and believe humans are mis-selling the dish because there aren’t any toads in it). 

The one thing the Head Cook is proud of is the way the kitchen works as a well oiled team, nobody goes hungry and the kitchens are kept meticulously clean.

Roherum is also a writer, producing material for the papers.  He also writes all his interviews up, gets them published in book form and archives them at the FNN studios.  He also keeps his own copies.  He sees doing this as keeping accurate historical records to accompany the films he made.  Naturally Roherum writes things up from his viewpoint and as a result his works can be unintentionally funny.  Roherum insists his books for FNN will not be published in his lifetime mainly because he wants to make sure he does not upset the Queen.  The weatherman claims the goblin wants to make sure nobody could query his version of events. Naturally both points are true. 

Roherum is also determined not to have his books reviewed while he’s still alive to take the brickbats
he expects to be hurled at him.  He thinks it’s because he defends the common magical being.  He won’t acknowledge there are times he can be a right idiot and far too full of himself.

Dragons are magically dependent on the support of a witch or wizard to survive long term in the Kingdom, though one of them had the foresight to realize if they could grab someone with fairy blood (Jenny), transform them and then mate with them, the offspring could become magically independent. This is what passes for genetic modification in the magical realm and Jenny understandably was not impressed by the idea. 

It is a major part of the fairy squad’s duty to combat rogue dragons and to keep an eye on those living quietly to make sure they keep on doing that and nothing more.  Every so often the Queen and her Council will “throw out” discoveries for humans to make, like the finding of a new planet, to ensure they don’t come too close to finding their realm.  Everybody in the Kingdom thinks humans would try to exploit magical power for their own ends if they were to find the magical realm. Nobody in the Kingdom believes humans would resist the temptation to try to colonize the Fairy Kingdom.  Sadly they’re right.

Most of the mythical beasts stay away from the settlements and the dimension barriers leading to other worlds and with very good reason. Humans hunt them.  Fairies hunt them.  Witches hunt them.  Wizards hunt them.  Okay there are different reasons - the fairies generally “hunt” them to monitor numbers and study the creatures but the creatures are not impressed and prefer to be left well alone.  They would consider the likes of our David Attenborough nothing more than a peeping tom!!!  Having said that Wandarox, Hanastrew’s deputy, is a magnifient artist and her most celebrated portraits are of the unicorns, centaurs and other creatures, showing them at their best - in the wild, living life as they want to live it.  Witches and wizards tend to hunt the creatures to extract blood, skin, hair etc and they’re usually not fussy just how they do this.  It is possible to extract these things without damaging the creatures - the darker side of the magical world never bothers.  They want it.  They get it.  They don’t bother with the gentle approach.

Whilst the Kingdom despises humanity for polluting its own planet, it doesn’t take much care of its own realm.  Not only were there magical wars which left many areas barren (nothing can take too much magic hitting it), those like Fresdian (later Rose) who go studying the flora and fauna in all weathers and seasons are considered at best eccentric and at worst mad.  Whilst the schools do teach the basics about magical creatures and plant life, the teaching ends there.  There’s no thought given as to how best to care for the landscape. 

As for the wars, they are considered unfortunate, embarrassing historical events, not to be discussed yet alone rectified.  It would be possible for the Queen and her senior magical staff to rectify some of the damage done to the Kingdom, but the thought hasn’t occurred to them to do it.  Even if it did occur to them, they’d reject the idea as wasting their magical energy.  The Fairy Kingdom fails to recognize its own selfishness here.  They’ve got more in common with humanity than they care to admit.

The kitchen staff comprise of the Head Housekeeper (who deputizes for the Lord Chamberlain for the Palace as a whole on the rare occasions he is ill or otherwise unavailable for duty), three senior cooks (each specializes in each of the three daily meals), three junior cooks (they assist and where necessary deputize for the seniors) and assistants.  Pixies are fabulous cooks so the kitchen staff are mainly made up from their community but the Head Housekeeper is an elf as nobody would trust any sprite to run such an important Palace department on their own. 

Goblins are renowned for their swiftness so take on assistant roles throughout the Palace.  Roherum is a goblin and many of FNN’s reporters are too, the broadcasters capitalizing on the natural speed talents here. 

The Queen encourages cookery to come not just from her world but from universes the magical world has had contact with.  There is never the same menu two days running here.  Some world cuisines go down better than others.  Earth cuisine is generally fine.  The cooking skills of the mud eating specialists of the Planet Sestrus, a mere 100 miles from the Fairy Kingdom, was tried once and won’t be again.

The Queen also asks her teams of fairies, who visit other worlds, to bring back small samples of plants as she likes certain things about other worlds (though usually not the inhabitants, humanity especially) dotted around the Palace and its grounds as a kind of exhibition. These plants are put in an isolated part of the Palace gardens to see how they grow.  The Queen, and her gardening team, are generally not worried about contamination from other worlds here.  After all it is the Kingdom that has the magical plants - the ones that eat the unwary passer by, those that grow upside down, those who spray their pollen at great distances and deliberately target the hayfever sufferers and those that give the bees and wasps that pollinate them so much nectar it is not uncommon to see swarms of drunken insects, a known hazard during the early springtime especially. 

There are no plans to bring back examples of wildlife as there are concerns these wouldn’t survive the transportation process yet alone conditions in the Kingdom.  It is felt plants are generally hardier and adapt quicker to a new environment.

The settlements run themselves but under General Magical Law applied to all beings equally by the Queen and Council.  So therefore any village troublemakers are dealt with village leaders in a way that is deemed appropriate.  Almost anything is appropriate.  The main provisions of the General Magical Law is not to use more magical energy than necessary for the task in hand and don’t rebel against the monarchy and Council.  Some villages and towns tend to use things like our medieval stocks as a form of punishment.  Others turn their errant beings into something nasty for a while (the really errant ones don’t get turned back again at all). 

Village leaders have to send a note once a week to the Palace to say what disciplinary actions have been taken against whom and why so the government keeps a watching brief on what’s going on. This is how Wes and Stan got such a bad reputation.  Everything they did in their home villages was written down and passed on.  All the punishments their home folk tried failed and that was written down.  This is why they got sent to the Palace.  It was figured it was time the Queen had a go at sorting these sprites out!

The high nobility tend to dread the Queen coming to stay with them for a while. Unlike the nobles in Queen Elizabeth Tudor’s time, who dreaded it due to the expense, the Kingdom’s nobility despair of their ruler’s generosity.  When she visits, she opens their doors to the hoi polloi in the surrounding areas so she gets to see plenty of them as well!   And there’s no way the nobility can tell the Queen to go and visit the peasants at their hovels rather than insist on them coming to the local lord’s mansion!  The people love the monarch for this. 

The nobles think the Queen is misguided.  And the Queen is well aware they think that.  What she also knows is they can’t do anything about it without sounding like whinging snobs!  FNN follow the Queen’s visits too though to be kind to her nobles she does insist they only film her when she’s out and about and not in the noble houses.  There is some appreciation for this but the nobility still wishes she’d stop bringing the peasants in for tea.  And they shudder at stately homes on Earth which are open to the public.  There’s a general feeling the so-called nobles on Earth who do this are letting the side down!

The public love the royal visits as they like a decent show, the Queen always looks good and they like to laugh at their high born nobility having to put themselves out for their monarch.  The public also suspects Her Majesty has a quiet snigger about this too.  As does the nobility. All know there’s nothing they can do about it. 

Less welcome is Roherum’s purple prose on every visit.  This is a guy who cannot see anything wrong with hyperbole and for whom there can never be too many adjectives.  Royal visits are set up by the Queen, with support from the Council and the leaders of the village or town chosen for the visit though the ruler is thinking of employing someone in the Palace to do this for her. She’s happy with Wes being her aide for filing, running errands and keeping her diary up to date but is less sure if he could manage the practical side of arranging a visit and do it without offending someone. Wes isn’t known for tact.

In the meantime the Queen will keep organizing her own jollies.  She loves meeting the people seeing it as a vital part of her job.  The Council see the importance of the visits but believes the Queen gets some of her less “sound” ideas from meeting the hoi polloi that little bit too often.  They know they can’t voice that opinion.  The Queen would give them very short shrift.

The kitchen staff comprise of the Head Housekeeper (who deputizes for the Lord Chamberlain for the Palace as a whole on the rare occasions he is ill or otherwise unavailable for duty), three senior cooks (each specializes in each of the three daily meals), three junior cooks (they assist and where necessary deputize for the seniors) and assistants.  Pixies are fabulous cooks so the kitchen staff are mainly made up from their community but the Head Housekeeper is an elf as nobody would trust any sprite to run such an important Palace department on their own. 

Goblins are renowned for their swiftness so take on assistant roles throughout the Palace.  Roherum is a goblin and many of FNN’s reporters are too, the broadcasters capitalizing on the natural speed talents here.  The Queen encourages cookery to come not just from her world but from universes the magical world has had contact with.  There is never the same menu two days running here. 

Some world cuisines go down better than others.  Earth cuisine is generally fine.  The cooking skills of the mud eating specialists of the Planet Sestrus, a mere 100 miles from the Fairy Kingdom, was tried once and won’t be again.

Prior to the squad being formed by Eileen, individual fairies and witches took care of problems such as dragons within their areas.  It hasn’t been unknown for fairies to drive out dragons into the neighbouring areas dominated by witch rivals. This has been known to lead to skirmishes which then spread into all out war affecting the whole Kingdom. 

Eileen formed the squad out of desperation as the Queen kept sending her out all over the place (but this was partially to keep Eileen out of trouble and away from the Council, particularly Brankaresh) but it has worked well and nobody would think of getting rid of it now.  Hanastrew enjoys leading it. 

At some point the witches might form their own squad, it has been whispered about in certain circles, as although witches don’t usually co-operate that well with each other, they don’t like seeing the fairies get all the praise on FNN.  They fail to see why they can’t get some of the publicity too.  After all witches have been known to get rid of monsters affecting everybody - okay they don’t usually admit to creating or summoning up the monsters in the first place - but they feel they can play a positive role too.

Wizards in the service of the Queen are expected to produce a wide range of spells for defensive use, conserving magical energy and better transportation. The latter is an ongoing project as the jerky start up and landing process of the cherry tree transporters has defeated the realm’s finest minds and the Queen herself has given up on it.  There is competitiveness between the wizards firstly to get the position of Chief Wizard and, secondly, to better one’s rivals as the more spells the Queen brings into daily use the quicker the promotion for the wizard concerned. 

The Queen also rewards wizards by bestowing extra magical powers.  Some of these are granted on a license for a short period of time, others are permanent.  All of them are expected to be used to encourage the wizard’s professional development. There isn’t yet a professional body to monitor conduct (though after Brankaresh’s treachery there is no doubt the wizarding community could do with one.  The one problem would be they’d never agree on who would run such a body).

The Queen tours the Kingdom regularly but doesn’t have a holiday home.  She extends her visits to the coastal areas, staying in the homes of the high nobility (mainly elves and dwarves), which is the nearest the monarch gets to a seaside vacation.  Eileen, in happier times in the realm, did much the same thing.  On earth, she and Derek go to Scotland at various times to enjoy the wonderful, sandy beaches and glorious scenery.  The only thing they dislike about the place are the midges though Eileen cannot tell her husband she has known worse - in her old world the worst she faced were fire breathing dragons!  Jenny and Paul also like Scotland though they take great care not to go at the same time as Derek and Eileen. Paul feels he gets enough of his mother-in-law at home.  Hanastrew prefers the forested areas of the Kingdom and spends many of her breaks at the Palace in the Queen’s orchards.  Hanastrew feels trees are the most wonderful things created regardless of world.

All species send their offspring to school though the higher ranks, notably the elves, are keenest.  All schools teach basic magic then teach in depth the magical skills the majority species in their area will find the most useful and which also brings out their inherited by blood powers. There isn’t a magical Ofsted though Eileen and Hanastrew would support it.  Teaching standards are expected to be high. The Heads of each establishment are directly answerable to the Queen and her Council. 

Teaching mixes theory and practical and is put into subjects like transformation, transportation and so on.  The only non-magic subject is sport, which is held every afternoon for the last two hours.  The authorities are keen on this as not only do magical beings have to be fit to be able to fight magical opponents, there is real fear if you keep witches and wizards cooped up with their wands and books of magic all day every day, something will go horrendously wrong with the minds of said witches and wizards and the damage to the Kingdom could be incalculable.  So if running around on a field for a few hours daily at school can prevent that, the Council is all for it.

The fairy squad, set up by Eileen, practices in the Palace grounds, well away from where the rest of the Household relaxes during off duty times.  Eileen set up a force field around the practice area which the Queen has since reinforced (yes, Eileen does know and yes, she’s livid about it - she loathes having her abilities questioned but is aware the monarch would happily make an issue out of this by telling Eileen to come back and fix it if she’s that unhappy). 

Having said that the squad have got used to having Household members stand outside the force field to watch the squad at work. Applause has been known.  New squad members run the gauntlet of mocking
laughter when they foul up.  Hanastrew has made no attempt to stop that.  She calls it character forming.  The newer squad members call it something too but not by a name I feel I can put here!  The squad as a whole doesn’t really like being entertainment for the staff, every so often they send a spell “wide” so it bounces off the force field.  This give the squad a chance to have a laugh as they see those Household members not aware the squad do this jump out of their skins.

The squad practice sessions include setting up fake battles and Hanastrew and her team destroying these using various spells depending on what skill they’re working on.  Hanastrew sets theory papers, based on ones Eileen set her. The squad prefers the practical sessions.  It’s more fun making something explode with a suitable charm than writing down your theories about what you’d do in certain situations.  Magical Ethics is not a popular subject as everybody in the Kingdom knows they’ve used magic in dodgy situations or to achieve things they should’ve used more honourable  means to get. Having to sit a paper on Magical Ethics brings on bad consciences!

For the evil side of the Kingdom, Magical Ethics is a waste of time. This causes resentment amongst the good guys. Why can’t they just get on with their job and send the evil ones to the next world? Why must paperwork get in the way?  But Queen and Council see the Magical Ethics papers as a way of gauging mental states.

Anyone writing they “want to blitz communities apart ASAP regardless of what said community has done” or show prejudices will be getting a visit from the authorities PDQ.  Eileen loathes the paper.  She sees it as a form of government interference which doesn’t achieve anything useful.  She has no problem with the interference - it’s the lack of practical gain that gets her goat. After all everyone writes down what they think the government wants them to write!

Eileen had maids allocated to her but usually dressed herself. She tended to get her maids to help her with her admin, keep her updated with Palace gossip (especially that talk which would never reach the Queen’s ears) and to act as a testing board for her speeches.  She expected honesty from them and got it. 

The Queen thought Eileen’s fiery temperament would be resented by the Household but to the ruler’s amazement the opposite was true.  Eileen’s maids were devoted to her, knowing she’d always treat them decently and she appreciated the help she did allow them to give her.  Eileen argued it was more important for them to give her feedback than help her dress.  Eileen could manage the latter after all!

Wherever Eileen could cut through Palace protocol, she would.  It had the knock on benefit this inevitably eased the workload of the Household, who appreciated it.  The Lord Chamberlain saw it was one of Her Highness’s whims.  Royalty, in whatever world, are always allowed to be eccentric.  Anyone else trying to cut Palace protocol would have been given the derriere’s speedy exit before they had time to protest!

There is a hierarchy below stairs with the Lord Chamberlain being the Ultimate Boss.  In many ways to the Household he can be more of a boss than the Queen if only because, while she isn’t aloof and does make the effort to keep a caring eye on those working for her, the staff obviously see much more of him  than they do Her Nibs.  And a lot of the time they do see Her Nibs it is in very formal settings. 

Most of the Household are elves, there’s a goodly supply of dwarves and the goblins tend to run the State Dining Room. Their cuisine is highly praised and they do not stick to their own food.  With encouragement from the Queen, the daily menu consists of food from throughout the Kingdom and its species but also from other planets. One of the few things she likes about Earth is its cookery (and booze!). 

The Queen is also keen to help the Kingdom’s endangered species - the griffin to name but one - and feels one great way of doing that is by not eating them!!!  Many of her ancestors would have considered her a “wuss” for taking that line!

There is also a hierarchy between the indoors staff and the Palace gardeners.  Naturally each side believes they’re the superior one!  The Household tend to look down on those “unfortunates out in all weathers”.  The gardeners consider those stuck in the Palace as stuck up and clearly suffering from an insufferability complex thanks to being indoors for far too long per day. 

The Queen finds the rivalries between different sections of the Palace both amusing and irritating (which mood depends on how much trouble the staff problems give her). The Household run betting books on various events - most notably if the Queen will marry and if so to whom.  The gardeners run their own and neither the twain shall meet.  The fact the Queen loves spending as much time in the gardens as possible and enjoys chatting to her gardeners irritate her indoors staff (they think it common) but cheers up the gardeners no end.  They appreciate being appreciated.  Eileen believes had it not been for Derek’s species, his gardening talents would’ve been taken up by the Kingdom ages ago.

Whilst the Kingdom has had protests, riots and civil wars, particularly in Gwendolyn’s reign, political demonstrations as we know them are a rare thing here.  Mostly the Queen and Council govern with no protests at all.  It does take desperate or selfish actions by the monarch especially to get folk out on to the streets. 

The Council is appointed by the Queen but she sounds out each species for recommendations first.  Usually there are one or two candidates deemed worthy enough by their own kind to serve on the Council and those then get interviewed several times by village elders and so on before only one name is put forward to the monarch.  Village elders can and are influenced by the feelings, usually voiced loudly, by their own people.  FNN would dearly love to influence things here as they’ve seen the media do on Earth but absolutely nobody in the Kingdom will tolerate that.  FNN is there to report facts, not opinions, the only exception being Roherum’s This Week’s Royal Gossip Show as it is felt okay to tittle tattle and giggle over the royals and their indiscretions.  Understandably the royals are not fans of this show.

The Council represents all 22 species in the Kingdom and all have picked their best, most well connected “person”.  (The jury’s out on whether the orcs count as people).  This has always been the case and they see no reason to change but Roxannadrell would like at least one or two more lowly folk serving on the Council.  She knows she has no chance of getting that kind of concession from the elves.  Though this doesn’t stop the monarch voicing her disappointment every so often. Not that the likes of L’Evallier take any notice of this.  They feel it is for each species to decide who to send to the Palace and don’t like the Queen trying to interfere here. 

Eileen has sympathy with the Queen’s aim, one of their few areas of agreement, but the Council doesn’t want the godmother interfering either as they’ve made clear.  Each Council member keeps a detailed diary of what they do at each Council meeting and circulate it to their own kind.  Naturally there are often 22 different versions of the same Council discussions!

Character names tend to follow family traditions.  For example the most noble elf usually goes on to become Chief Elf.  L’Evallier is the son of the previous Chief Elf, L’Etalladon.  The L’ signifies their high birth.  Drell is a royal tag.  Eileen’s proper Kingdom name is Princess Deamadrell Cantan of Lexleven.  It didn’t take FNN long to turn Eileen’s second name into “cantankerous”!  Yes, the Kingdom has its version of Princess Pushy.

The highest born dwarves tend to end their names in “ish” as in Rodish and his brother Balkish.  Hanastrew’s mother was Hanacrill - Hana is a recognized tag for one of the most powerful fairy non-royal families living in the Kingdom.  Yes fairies and other magical species were exiled for activities deemed criminal.

At some point I’d like to explore those stories.  It’s my intention some will have justified their expulsion and others do not.  The fairy royals are not above prejudice. It has been known to be lethal.

Witches and wizards tend to meet together in small groups every now and again. The Chief Witch inherited her title from her family, a branch of the fairy royals thanks to Gwendolyn’s indiscretion by marrying a wizard, having a child by him and then dumping both of them.  Nobody except Gwendolyn herself was surprised when the two defected to the dark side.  Gwendolyn because she had moved on had assumed they would move on too.  Sadly for the realm she was wrong.  This one incident alone triggered another civil war.

The Chief Wizard, however, has to work his way up the ladder and earn the respect of his peers, so they’re happy for him to take the title.  This, however, can be abused. Brankaresh used murder, intimidation and fear to work his way to the position.  Though even he could not be blatant about it. 

The crucial thing was not to draw his nefarious business to the attention of the Queen.  In that sadly he succeeded as she was taken in by his charm, unlike the cynical Eileen. But then in her line fighting foul magical creatures, Eileen knows to always ask questions, especially the awkward ones.  That habit has helped keep her alive.

Sports in the Kingdom focus on practising magical skills.  Prowess with a wand or staff is prized!  All species must practice their natural skills regularly - most do this in the evenings or at weekends.  Tennis and badminton are popular but earth football and rugby are considered common. 

Cricket, where the game can take days and still end in a draw, is hugely admired on the grounds it takes genius to come up with a sport like that!  Some of the larger villages are beginning to play cricket.  Magic is used to keep playing fields level and free from any creatures that tend to damage lawns. 

In the Kingdom this ranges from moles to griffins to furry monsters to massive dragons. On Earth it is mainly moles that cause problems! 

The Queen, Eileen and Jenny don’t play sports but Hanastrew and the fairy squad are beginning to do so, recognizing that keeping fit will help them with their magical duties.

Pets aren’t known in the Kingdom though the less temperamental magical creatures do sometimes gather at the edges of settlements and there is some interaction between them and the villagers.  This does not of course apply to dragons!  Groups of creatures settle depending on habitat so villages often have a magical animal representing them so they have a kind of living coat of arms! 

Humanity’s tendency to keep pets is generally approved of as long as the animals are properly cared for, on the grounds that caring for something else like this means there are some humans who aren’t polluting the planet or causing wars.  The Queen, if she were to keep a pet, would go for a cat - regal, dignified, looks after itself.  Eileen would prefer a nice dog (her enemies would say it’s because she’s a bitch!) as she admires their loyalty and courage.  Jenny is not immune to having a pet later once Eddie is older and would go for a small dog. Though how a dog would take to the talking animals at Brenebourne is anyone’s guess!

Seasons in the Kingdom are the same as on Earth but certain areas keep their favourite seasons far longer than we do.  For example, there is a Winter Wonderland area in the Kingdom so the other seasons are brief. 

Flora and fauna again resemble that found on Earth but there are species in the Kingdom that could never be found outside a magical environment.  There are trees and beanstalks that grow and grow and where climbing is very much done at the climber’s own risk.  Not only is there the terrifying thought of what you might find at the top, there are the creatures that live in these plants that need facing as well.  Not all are friendly! 

The giant flowers in the Palace gardens really are giant.  And you should see the bees that pollinate them!  Colours are brighter than on earth.  The subtler shades are not appreciated by most in the realm, the attitude being if you’ve got colour, you may as well have as much of it as possible! 

Colour blindness is unknown in the Kingdom though given the brightness of the hues this counts as a miracle though the Queen and Eileen believe eyes react to whatever environment they cope with and magical eyes are used to such brightness.

The Queen believes if she can get Jennifer to come to the Kingdom and stay there for a while, the girl will see the advantages of the magical realm and stay for good. That worries Jenny, as does the renowned Kingdom prejudice against alien beings, but the Queen knows that can be overcome. The Queen has a great deal more influence with her subjects than most monarchs have and she wouldn’t be afraid to use that.  This influence is exploited by the Council at times, especially when it can be used against the likes of the Witch, but they also resent it as it causes difficulties.  It’s not unknown for a law they’ve passed to be overturned by the Queen, not just by her using her right of veto but by drumming up public support.  What aggravates the Council is knowing they can’t do anything about this, the public would resent it and the Queen would go bananas.  A potty monarch with huge  power is never a good combination.

Fairies are the top species in the realm, mainly due to their powers and the way the royals tamed the Kingdom and stopped the infighting, though it took them centuries to do it.  Most of the Kingdom doesn’t have a problem with this though every so often a disgruntled wizard or witch rebels and shakes the Kingdom throne up somewhat. The fairies act honourably and don’t throw their weight around though there is always the odd exception.  Hanastrew and the squad generally go down well with the populace given they’re the first line of magical defence.  Fairies tend to despise humanity’s view of them - they are not twee, yes they like flowers but don’t necessarily live in them and the ones that do are considered suspect by their own kind.  Fairies are tough, good fighters and love nothing better then righting injustices.  They very much see themselves as the good guys of the magical world.

The relationship between fairies and witches is a complex one here.  There are good witches and bad fairies after all though it is expected each support their own type only.  Having said that there are examples of cross magical type friendships and Eileen and the Chief Witch were known to have been very close as children.  It is also recognized that the better witches are good at herbal medicines and are often employed for that purpose.  The witches you want to avoid are those involved in the occult and in the Kingdom’s case actively trying to seize the throne and kill anyone getting in the way of that aim. It is less well known that the Chief Witch in her way was fond of Eileen, recognizing that the godmother had always tried to be fair to her even on issues where they disagreed. 

Not that this would count for anything with the Queen.  She would see it as highly suspect behaviour on Eileen’s part.

Eileen’s defection caused shockwaves due to the Kingdom’s attitude to humans.  The realm has been divinely commissioned to keep a watching brief on earth and fairies, in particular, are often sent out when it is felt sending a full angelic squad would be too frightening or a bad case of overkill. The Kingdom has had millennia to study humanity’s warlike qualities, its greed, its pollution and the way it abuses the planet. Naturally  not every human is like that but the fairy world likes its prejudices as much as any other civilization so focuses on the negative.  There’s also a certain amount of  the “’we’re so much better than them” syndrome. 

Eileen’s marriage works, much to everybody’s surprise, but nobody is prepared to credit that Derek is a rather special human being.  Eileen knows that his wonderful gardening skills would be prized in her old world had it not been for his species.  She loathes prejudices and to her great credit hates the ones of her own world the most as she feels they’re the ones she can condemn the most.

Villages group together (in groups of five) annually for their summer carnival where all species takes part.  These are arranged throughout the season so the Queen and/or Eileen can attend them.  A lot of drinking takes place and that’s just by the organizing committees!  There are floats, on the theme of fairy tales and nursery rhymes, but you can get the Kingdom’s equivalent of an “avant garde” float based on the theme of how horrible humanity is, which always goes down well.  There’s nothing like condemning an alien life form to bring magical beings together in a spirit of unity. 

Fairy tales and nursery rhymes must be re-enacted regularly in the magical world to keep the stories “alive”.  Once the carnivals are over for the year, there’s a lot of competitiveness to see which group of villages got the best coverage on FNN and which royal seemed to enjoy which festival most.  The debates from this keep FNN and the press going for material for months.  This material ranges from nice to poisonous.  The disappointment of those who didn’t get on the organizing committees or felt their carnival didn’t get enough attention can be physically felt by all magical beings for over twenty miles!

The Queen and Eileen (pre-defection) enjoy going to the carnivals and enter into the spirit of the things readily.  The Council don’t approve, it’s a bit common, an attitude that gains them short shrift from both royals.  The women travel around the Kingdom a lot, believing it vital to keep in contact with the people and show they are approachable.  Royal visits generally go down well and FNN lap them up. Roherum sees it as a gold mine for his career - all that gushing to be done!  All those adjectives to bring out for yet another airing! All the repeats of the pageantry!  The Queen tends to send Eileen on engagements and organizes her own. While Wes is her aide, she tells him what the appointments are. She doesn’t have the equivalent of a private secretary but is considering changing that if only because promoting Wes again would wind the Council up, something she likes to do from time to time to keep them on their toes. 

Friendships are encouraged within each species group and tolerated between species.  L’Evallier (elf) and Rodish, later Balkish (dwarves) are known for their friendship though there are plenty within their own communities who disapprove and certainly don’t follow their example.  It took the fairy royals centuries to get community relations to this level of tolerance and the Queen and Eileen know it’ll probably take a few more centuries before there are further improvements.  Still at least the infighting and all the magical damage that it does has stopped. 

There is only one version of Fairy Kingdom history - that produced by the royals - though to be fair it is accurate, thoroughly researched and is honest about the faults of its previous fairy rulers, especially Queen Gwendolyn.  Eileen has written papers (mostly lodged in the Royal Library) with her thoughts.  The less controversial get an airing now and again on FNN.  Her outright damnation of fairy mismanagement  is unlikely to see the light of day and had it been written by anyone other than her, that same someone would’ve seen the inside of a jail for, at best, years and, at worst, life!

Food is grown and prepared manually and magically though almost everyone prefers honest grub rather than that conjured up out of thin air as there’s something about magic that leaves its mark in food.  Experts say the taste isn’t so fresh.  It’s as if the magic has taken something from the food.  The Queen is keen the royal kitchens cook a wide range of cuisines from different worlds, though she is particularly fond of Earth food.  Her favourite dish is a properly prepared old fashioned roast chicken dinner followed by raspberry crumble and icecream.  Some food snobs do look down their noses at their monarch for such humble tastes but they never do it in her presence so she considers she’s won that argument.  The Queen also argues that the griffin and dodo are endangered enough without her Household cooking them as well.  Eileen likes Italian food and her favourite dish is seafood lasagne.  Jenny is a good cook and her favourite dish is honey pepper beef with mangetout and fresh pasta.

When there aren’t dragons and foul fiends to be got rid of quickly (which means calling in Eileen, Hanastrew or the fairy squad), most settlements arrange their evening entertainment based on the tastes of the majority species living in the place.  These entertainments take place outside during the spring and summer, in the Village Hall the rest of the year, and all who are able are expected to take part.  Shyness here is not tolerated.  It doesn’t matter whether you sing quietly or loudly, what matters is you sing. 

To be fair, given all in the Kingdom know these traditions, shyness generally isn’t a problem.  It’s not given a chance to develop into one!  Entertainments are held thrice weekly.  Whilst not compulsory to go to them all, most do and only being ill is considered a good enough excuse to skip attendance. So village disapproval tends to make sure everybody does go to every entertainment. 

The entertainments usually involve singing, dancing, acting, recitals, and sports like football, cricket, rounders, anything team related as that gets as many of the village involved as possible.  The entertainments are usually great fun and very noisy.  And from the government’s point of view, they’re useful - the villages are not causing trouble for them.

Entertainment is mainly music organized by the different species for their own kinds only and in the style that they like.  This means the Queen doesn’t have to cope with a full Royal Command Performance.  She merely has to sit through an elf recital, a dwarf gig and so on, much easier to cope with a lot shorter in length.  The sprites are the nearest thing the Kingdom has to clowns but given their mischief making often leads to damage being done, very few consider their antics funny. 

Every species watches FNN and tunes into This Week’s Royal Gossip Show, chaired by Roherum, much to the monarch’s disgust (though she is quietly stunned at just what people can find to gossip about).  Some dwarves and pixies do indulge in juggling from time to time but again tend to save their talents for their own villages.  Some of the species organize their own sports teams (cricket mainly) but this is very much an amateur thing and other groups, most notably the elves, consider anything bringing you out in a sweat vulgar in the extreme.  Yes that does include sex.

Sicknesses do occur in the Kingdom but it’s usually due to magical abuse - you can have too many spells going through your system at once!  Also curse victims, even when rescued from being toads, frogs etc, tend to need a long period of quiet readjustment and even then a sudden shock can bring on violent attacks of croaking. 

Biggest cause of death is getting the wrong side of a witch, a wizard or a fairy in a really bad mood (usually Eileen).  Second biggest cause of death are dragons and associated monsters (there has been whimsical talk about the brutes forming their own trade union - Beasts Against Vegetarianism!). 

The Queen and Eileen have been known to put all their own powers through themselves in one go when  they’ve needed the energy from this to carry out a very special charm but doing this leaves them
drained for ages and so they don’t do this often.  The thought of leaving the Kingdom in the charge of the Council makes the Queen shudder.  She doesn’t like the thought they could manage without her.  Her one comfort is most royals in most dimensions feel much the same way.

The Council has one representative from the 22 different species.  L’Evallier is Council Leader and is the poshest elf imaginable though he is honest, honourable and courageous.  The Queen knows she needs him and his blunt advice even when  he’s being a pain in the neck, possibly especially then.  Eileen respects him and not many get that compliment. 

Major Council characters featured in the novels are Rodish, then Balkish (Chief Dwarf), Thunderrock (troll), Haldra (orc), Nimble (goblin) and Brankaresh, later Abstar (Chief Wizard). 

The Chief Wizard is the most powerful non-royal magical being on the Kingdom which was why Brankaresh’s treachery was such a serious matter for the Queen and why Eileen felt she had to kill the wretch the traditional way - remove head, arms and legs at one go with a very powerful charm to ensure no chance of self defence.  Fortunately this method of execution is not used often. Abstar is very keen not to follow in his predecessor’s footsteps! He likes the Queen, he likes being at the Palace, he likes his job and above all he likes living!  The definition of a level headed being, who are at a premium in any magical world!

The Palace gardens are justly renowned for their magnificent beauty and the Queen loves spending as much time as she can in them.  Her favourite place is amongst the orchards where benches have been put amongst the trees.  Fruit is available on the trees all year round.  There are advantages to living in a magical world - while there are seasons, the Queen can fix her own fruit supply with an additional spell or half dozen.  The massive Palace lake feeds the Fountain of Youth.  The black sculptured marble gates is the only item that hasn’t been altered in any way by any fairy sovereign being the only thing they all liked. 

Village gardens are smaller but everybody likes to grow their own flowers.  Sprites like to grow plants that produce a lot of pollen as another weapon to use against their enemies - that is, other sprites.  This does not go down well with other species. Plants are meant to be enjoyed, not endured. 

Monsters are a fact of life in the Kingdom but not all of them are beastly.  The furry beast, Monster, rescued by Wes from imprisonment by Brankaresh during the period of the Queen’s temporary overthrow, proves to be an asset to the Royal Household to everyone’s surprise.  He can do all the heavy work and save magical powers for more important things.  He also proves to be literate, intelligent, capable of holding more than one thought in his head at a time and is on a one-monster
mission to raise the profile of beasts like him and dispel the prejudices against clawed and fanged creatures.  Monster is realistic enough to know these prejudices will never entirely go but he can at least damage them.  Monster also challenges Oakstaff’s patronizing attitude to the very downmarket Wes much to the sprite’s delight.  Certainly when it comes to a fight, Monster is the kind of creature you definitely want on your side.

All species can communicate telepathically as everyone has an identity code, made up of two separate parts, one of which is the genus code, the other the individual code.  Everybody has to recite the code of the person they want to communicate with before being able to use crystal ball technology or telepathy.  The Queen’s code is known to all as she encourages her subjects to keep in contact, much to her Council’s disgust.  She thinks their aloofness has done much to encourage public disillusion with politicians. 

The Queen also knows every subject’s code and Eileen knows most of them (with knowledge to be able to work out the rest).  Of course the quality of telepathic communication varies - most people don’t eavesdrop telepathic sprite talks as sprites are rude and low.  They’d do this anyway but the fact it stops eavesdroppers  is another reason for them not to raise the level of their conversations!

Whilst the Kingdom has had internal wars and battles with other worlds, the people themselves are expected to stick to the roles their species and/or status dictates to them.  This is why Eileen’s defection and her attempt to abandon her fairy godmother commission is a shock and could see her executed for treason.  The Queen in refusing to carry out that law, indeed trying to accommodate Eileen, also goes beyond the bounds of anything done in her world before and it is only because she is who she is that she gets away with it.  Nobody is at all  surprised when Eileen doesn’t want to return and the Queen’s idea to contain Eileen fails. Eileen finds the species and status restrictions unjust, though she benefits from her own high rank.  Eileen is the nearest thing the Kingdom’s had for a revolutionary and nobody is very comfortable about it given how close she is to the Fairy Kingdom throne, including Eileen herself.

The Kingdom, whilst despising humanity for its warlike, greedy attitude to say nothing of its pollution of Earth, is more than happy to pinch what it considers to be good ideas.  Fairy-vision is an example of this though the jury is still out as to whether bringing television to a magical world, any world come to that, is all it’s cracked out to be.  Alcohol is the other big import and the Queen imbibes very happily, too much so at times as far as Eileen’s concerned.  The Queen also loves Earth food and sees that as a harmless way of getting to know other cultures without actually having to deal with the people/beings themselves.  Eileen despises that attitude for the snobbery that it is. 

The Queen’s Council is loosely based on the style of government Elizabeth I would have had and the Fairy Queen is vaguely aware of the similarities though disapproves.  She feels each world should have its own form of government but knows the Tudor Queen couldn’t possibly have copied her here or indeed at all! The idea then that humans sometimes come up with reasonable systems of their own does not go down that well with Roxannadrell.  It’s much easier to despise humanity.

FNN would like to do a series of  history programmes on the fairy royals but neither Eileen nor the Queen are keen and without their co-operation the programmes won’t be made.  This is due to the fact FNN would need access to the royal files/Library and only these two can grant that. FNN know the Council are not very keen on them, they owe their existence to the fairy royals so won’t bite the hand that feeds them.  FNN sometimes try to persuade the Queen to allow them access here, knowing it’s a waste of time trying to get Eileen to change her mind, but to date have failed.  The Queen doesn’t trust them to stick to those royals with a reasonable record.  She thinks they want to dig up all the gossip and scandal concerning Queen Gwendolyn, great-grandmother to Roxannadrell and Eileen.  The one comfort the Queen has on all this is that it’s one of the few areas where she and Eileen are united.

Kingdom Council meetings are as dull as they are on Earth.  There’s something about the word “Council” that induces automatic dullness. 

Even the Queen finds this.  She has tried to speed proceedings up to try to limit how long the dullness goes on for.  She isn’t always successful. 

Planning meetings at FNN are dull too to all except Roherum who leads them and insists on thinking he’s fascinating his listeners/viewers. FNN is dominated by programmes Roherum thinks the people want. 

To his colleagues’ annoyance, he is usually right, though the Queen could do without This Week’s Royal Gossip Show.  Sadly for her it’s FNN's second top-rated programme after their main news bulletin.  Whilst it’s not impossible for her to have this removed, she is well aware how unpopular it would make her.  The villages and towns have their own meetings to settle issues but it’s always done over drinks and picnics so at least these are more fun!

Portrait painters are held in high regard and the Queen, naturally, has the largest artwork collection. The painters are not restricted to any one species - much to everyone’s surprise there are some orc artists though their brushwork is considered to be on the rough side!! (Not that anyone’s surprised by that).  The Queen to her credit appreciates art for its own sake and doesn’t worry about the artists’ backgrounds, unlike L’Evallier, whose own extensive collection is made up of the best works from high born elves only with odd works from some of the more noble dwarves and that only done as a favour and memorial to his late friend, Rodish. 

Art is meant to be understandable by anyone in the Kingdom’s view so it tends to be landscapes and portraiture.  Abstract art is not a concept that would go down well here.  Given the Kingdom is full of the surreal in terms of wildlife and plants (triffids are common in certain areas), they like their art to be reassuringly “normal”!  They have no time for art critics either and can’t understand why they exist on Earth either.

Families in the Kingdom go for walks though certain areas are avoided.  These tend to be dragon infested.  Nothing spoils a good walk more than getting flame grilled! Archery is popular amongst both sexes and all species.  It is considered an elegant sport though the dwarves are roundly teased for having miniature bows and arrows.  In the past that would have led to race riots.  Now the dwarves ignore it (and have upgraded their skills so they can outshoot anybody.  Nothing makes  your rivals shut up quicker than proving yourself to be better at a skill than they’d anticipated!). 

Running is considered undignified unless you are being pursued by a dragon or other foul fiend.  FNN shows documentaries about life on other planets, mainly Earth so the Kingdom can indulge in its favourite hobby of sneering at humanity and things like athletics are considered by the fairy world as humans showing off when they should be taking better care of their planet.

Transportation is by foot, wing, boot power (in the case of sprites), instant transportation spell (with the risk you may not rematerialize in the same order you disappeared in or at all!) or by using the cherry transporter trees.  These are slower but safer.  Entry is via the trunk via a special lever and inside the tree are abacuses used to set the co-ordinates for wherever you want to visit.  From the outside the trees do not appear to move.  The action takes place inside the trunk. The magic that propels them is conducted via the roots and branches.  The Kingdom plants receptive cherry tree transporters on whatever world they visit, hence the one at Brenebourne. But not all areas in the Kingdom can take cherry trees, especially those places made barren by magical fighting so the instant transport charm must be used too.  Hanastrew hates it, she tends to land in lakes, but Eileen is expert at all forms of magical transport as is the Queen.

There isn’t anything like a police force in the Kingdom. The nearest thing is the fairy squad, set up by Eileen, and now run by Hanastrew.  It is expected each group will do its utmost to keep their own in line.  This works reasonably well as nobody wants the fairy squad turning up and acting in what they’d consider was a heavy handed manner.  The fairy squad isn’t known for subtlety.  The overall authority is the Queen of course and nobody wants her acting in a heavy handed manner either as she could let all hell loose magically speaking.  Crime rates are relatively low but, sadly, when it  takes place it tends to be “spectacular”.  For example Brankaresh murdered rivals to steal their spells and overthrew the Queen briefly and the Witch deliberately let a dragon loose to cause as much devastation as possible. 
Village settlements tend to be well run - nobody wants to rock the boat and upset the neighbours.

Villages run themselves and resent interference by (a) other villages and (b) the Council.  There is rivalry when it comes to staging royal visits.  All villages want their visit to be the best yet.  In the height of the summer season, it has been known for the Queen to have trouble walking through a village thanks to the number of blooms on display.  It is as well as she’s not a hayfever sufferer! 

Most village folk are kind and hardworking but prejudices run deep (it has taken Wes continually risking his life to help the Queen to make the slightest dent in prejudices against him).  The royals have taken centuries to get the rival groups to stop fighting and live side by side in peace, even if they then have not much to do with each other. I’d like later to take one village and write a fantasy village life spoof. Eileen has a great deal of time for village folk and along with Hanastrew these are the beings she misses the most from her Kingdom days.

The various Kingdom species organize meetings for their own kinds at least once a year though the authorities insist that these are spaced out so the realm doesn’t get a load of drunken dwarves running into the local troll clan meeting and riots erupt.  It is also expected the different groups police themselves effectively or the government will intervene.  Nobody wants that so this scheme works (which of course was the intention behind the idea).  FNN wants to get involved with these group meetings, filming them for documentaries but each and every group has turned them down flat, partly as they don’t want to risk ridicule for some of their most peculiar customs (every group has at least one) and mainly they don’t feel Roherum will take the meetings seriously enough.  They’re almost certainly right to worry about that.  Notice has to be given of when and where meetings take place so other groups in the vicinity can make sure they’re well out of the way. It makes for a quieter life….

Reading is something indulged in by the higher magical ranks and is seen by them as a necessity as they need to  keep up to date with the latest spells and charms techniques.  Ranks like the sprites leave reading (and writing) to “toffs”.  Reading focuses on the magical trade.  What we would consider fictional fairy tales they see as non-fiction or documentaries.  The idea of making up stories as we do is looked down on.  Stories happen in the Kingdom.  They are re-enacted in villages around the Kingdom to keep the tales alive that way.  It is considered a great honour for a girl to be picked to play her village’s Cinderella, the difference being she ends  up becoming Cinderella and meets and marries her own Prince Charming.  This is why making up stories is despised.  The general feeling is that there are enough stories as it is and the ones that exist are factual so why bother inventing any?

The Palace grounds are exquisite and range from the lake feeding the Fountain of Youth to a giant flower garden (you should see the size of the royal sunflowers and yes beanstalks are a speciality!), a massive orchard and woodlands.  Teams of gardeners take care of all of these but there is a small garden which is literally the Queen’s own.  Whenever Her Majesty can escape the cares of office for a while, she tends to this garden by herself much to the disapproval of her gardeners,  Household and Council.  The Queen finds it therapeutic to get her hands dirty from time to time.  Everybody else in the Palace finds it awful and can’t understand what’s got into her.

Villagers take care of their own plots of land.  There are no allotments, everybody literally has their own land, and all see the importance of keeping the Kingdom green.  The Queen would at some point like to set up an official Royal Flower Show but hasn’t got around to it yet thanks to misbehaving fairies (Fresdian and Eileen), witches (Chief Witch), wizards (Brankaresh) and an awkward Council led by the ever awkward L’Evallier.  Maybe one day...

Music is developing in the Kingdom.  There is a growing awareness of the need to get away from the harp playing image and to prove the Kingdom can produce other styles of music.  Guitars and pianos, the idea imported from Earth, are starting to catch on and the Queen has encouraged recitals to be held in the larger settlements.  She has even attended a few.  The Council aren’t sure they approve, L’Evallier is downright sniffy about it, but the Queen’s favour means the musicians are safe. 

Elves have taken to the new music well.  Much to everybody’s surprise so have the dwarves and sprites.  Most assumed these groups’ contribution to culture was pretty limited.  Musical style is mainly classical or light pop.  Rock and roll is still several centuries away from coming in here.  The Queen is also keen to encourage her subjects to develop their own musical  instruments.  After all her subjects vary in terms of the number of limbs they have and fine motor skills so musical instruments need to reflect that.  Nobody has yet taken up the challenge.

Comedy as such is not known in the Kingdom.  The fact the sprites lark about and cause havoc puts the rest of the realm off any form of clowning, physical or verbal.  Comedy is something Eileen has taken a long time to get used to on Earth but typically of her she prefers things like P.G. Wodehouse (mainly in written form though she will listen to audio books occasionally), Just a Minute (plays about with words) and to Jenny’s horror, Quote Unquote, but Jenny suspects her mother’s got into this to show off how much reading she has managed to do since coming to Earth which has helped Eileen blend in better.  It means Eileen’s cultivated an image of someone who is a Radio 4 upmarket humour fan.  Jenny loves I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue (Eileen thinks it rude and rightly!) and a wide range of radio comedy.  Radio is just starting in the Kingdom but FNN and Roherum look down their noses at a medium without pictures.

The Kingdom has 22 different species and all have a Council representative.  The Council also represent different areas in the realm so everybody has a “MP” they can take their problems to.  The Queen, on her visits, will often hear what her Council have been doing to help the populace and has been known to grill the Council if she feels their help has been lacking or not given quickly enough. The fact FNN exists tends to focus the Council’s collective minds on getting the help done and out of the way or they’ll be roasted by the broadcasters.  The Council hate that. The Kingdom welcomes it. FNN have achieved something useful! 

Forms of address can be tricky in Council meetings and the Queen has got around this by calling everybody by name making the meetings less formal.  There is a Post Office like arrangement at the Palace as the Queen is inundated with mail and again if any problems her Council haven’t dealt with come up here said representative gets a roasting and is literally booted out of the Palace to tackle said problem forthwith.

The Palace has several “lives” going on inside it.  There is the Queen and Council and their roles, the Household as it carries out its duties and the “outside staff” (mainly gardeners) who are looked down on by the Household.  The working day is continuous - there is always someone on duty - and the Lord Chamberlain oversees it all.  Nothing must mar the running of the Palace.  Everything must go smoothly. 

The Palace is richly decorated throughout as you’d expect but the staff quarters are furnished as per the relevant staff member’s tastes and magical abilities.  Sprites like Wes have basic staff accommodation.  L’Evallier’s quarters are like a mini-Palace in their own right.  Every species is represented in the Household too so the Palace is like the Kingdom in miniature.  Again it is down to the Lord Chamberlain to ensure staff relations go as well as can be expected.  This mainly means stopping fighting between the sprites and that the dwarfs and trolls don’t wind each up so much rioting breaks out.

Downstairs life has its own hierarchy in the Palace which I hope to explore in later stories and books.  The Lord Chamberlain rules the downstairs world but his daughter, Floxanna, can run rings round him.  She’s the only one who can, even the Queen treats “dear Rosker” with respect. She knows she needs him to run her Palace for her.  Various members of the nobility seek places amongst the Household staff, even as maids, as it is considered an honour to work there.  The staff are expected to behave well though the Lord Chamberlain is more open minded than one might expect.  He has no problems employing Monster to carry out those heavy tasks that need doing as he can see the beast would not only get the job done, he saves using magical energy.  Others in the Household have problems with it though Monster is aware they dare not say so.  Having six arms, being huge and clawed has its advantages!

The Kingdom has 7 regions.  I’ve not yet named them all and I hope at some point to show the rivalries between them (akin to the kind of thing that goes on between Glasgow and Edinburgh, Southampton and Portsmouth and so on).  Certain areas have been made barren by centuries old magical infighting and again at some point I want to write some history of the Kingdom but so it is a story in its own right.  I’d like to do a kind of Simon Schama spoof here but in a tale.  As for the regions, the Palace, naturally, is set in the poshest one. 

The Kingdom has been at war with other worlds, usually when they’ve attacked “my” realm. I’d like to explore some of those back stories later.  The Kingdom has a secure prison planet orbiting it and again at some point I’d like to look at how that was established, what mistakes were made that were overcome to establish its security.  The last thing anyone wants are magically powerful criminals on the loose…  Though I suspect there are a few stories there!!!

There’s a healthy scepticism of the Council in most Kingdom communities, something they’ve developed for themselves, though they’re not surprised by humans being disillusioned with their politicians.  The Council blame FNN for this perception though the Queen sympathizes with her people. It isn’t that the Council are greedy or self seeking but they are slow, use language best left in the archives as it is far too long-winded, and tend to be reactive rather than proactive.  Also the Queen and Eileen go out on load of various visits around the realm.  The “sticks” rarely get to see the Council. 

FNN do not broadcast serious programmes like our Newsnight for example but cover the basics of politics only, believing correctly it is all most people are interested in and the ones that want in depth analysis are probably in need of that in depth analysis on themselves!  The likes of L’Evallier despair at this attitude.

Each community in the realm organizes its own activities.  There are village halls in the larger settlements but the days when there are inter-species football tournaments, to give one example, are a long way off.  The elves would consider almost anything meaning one got sweaty and out of breath to be disgusting.  The sprites are brilliant at organizing their own fights and aggravating the realm.  There is long term rivalry between pixies and imps no amount of kindly talk from the Queen or threats from the Council will remove. Sprite communities recognize having some of their leaders hauled in and punished from time to time is part of their culture, to the despair of the Queen who doesn’t really want to use brutal magical spells on them to make them behave despite knowing the realm would back her doing so.  Moaning in the Kingdom is an art form, much to the sprites’ disgust
as it nearly always is all about them!

History is something everyone in the Kingdom takes a huge interest in.  Not only does it have direct relevance to relationships between the different groups (the dwarves and elves being the obvious example), all in the realm are aware of their world being attacked and who by and when their world is responsible for the attacking, thus provoking a violent response back again.  There are history programmes on FNN (in favour of the fairy royals to nobody’s surprise).  Everybody responsible for history programming takes the official line.  Eileen is the nearest to a revisionist and even she takes most things as gospel. 

The Witch always disputed the truth of anything broadcast on FNN as she feels her family was unfairly portrayed and treated.  She has a point but sadly her family were mass murderers and rebels so the fairy royals were right to defend their people against them.  What Eileen queries is whether the royals could’ve intervened sooner, acted more fairly, preventing the need for a forceful defence. Eileen’s queries are not welcome.

The sciences as we know them are of little interest in a magical world.  Alchemy is despised.  The nearest science studied is natural history and that’s only done by the likes of Fresdian (Rose) who is considered an eccentric.  There’s a wariness of science as practiced on Earth as the Queen and her Council are aware it is science that leads to mankind making new discoveries, some of which the magical realm don’t want them to find out as it could lead to humans finding their world. 

Every so often humans are “enabled” to find, say, a new planet so they’re busy investigating that if the magical worlds thinks humans are getting too close.  Accurate measurements are a must for the potion makers. 

And there is an awareness of the need for a great deal of distance when casting an explosive charm between the caster and the being/thing it’s aimed at.  But that’s more common sense that mathematics or the acceptance of every action causes an equal and opposite reaction.  Science as such is unlikely to ever go down well here.