Manifestations
These are treated with caution in the magical world.  “Quacks” are known here too.  Prophecies are expected to be rooted in reality and to be specific in detail (not necessarily in giving names but enough information to prove it isn’t being made up) and records are kept of when prophecies were fulfilled. Those claiming to see visions are interrogated by the Council.  To date no manifestation has proven to be genuine and FNN regularly debunk the notion.  To date “mistaken” old women are sent back home and told not to bother anyone again.  There has been an increase in witch numbers.  Eileen has been one of the few to wonder if there was a link.  She knows she wouldn’t want her judgement questioned.  If she had a manifestion, she’d expect people to believe her.  It is perhaps as well she has not had one.  The Kingdom would never hear the last of it.

Lawlessness
Almost anything that the Fairy Queen is against (though in fairness she does try to make sure most of her Council agree with her on most things she categorizes as lawless).  She is keen to uphold law and order, being only too well aware of what happened to the realm’s last careless ruler, Gwendolyn.

Commercial
The Queen tries not to speak this word, almost considering it a swear word.  For one thing she has seen what humans do using commercial need as an excuse.  Secondly she really does not understand the need to make money, given she has always had plenty of her own.  Eileen is more sympathetic to the commercial world and had hoped her books might have been more accessible to the Kingdom.  However, to achieve that, she would have had to have been a lot less controversial.  Eileen would never do that.

Greed
Something humans are chiefly guilty of (the more compassionate in the Kingdom blame our inadequacies - if we were magical we wouldn’t feel the need to covet) though the realm has seen its fair share of those lusting for power.  Brankaresh was by no means unique here.  And certainly sprites often fight each other for some trinket they envy while the rest of the Kingdom looks on, exasperated.

Environmental Credentials
The realm generally ignores the environment - it is just there and will always remain so.  This infuriates the likes of Rose (Fresdian) who wants everyone doing their bit to keep the atmosphere and Nature herself happy.
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Life writing
The Kingdom doesn’t understand why humans do this.  They feel you should just live, that this kind of writing is egotistical.  Eileen has written her version of events and these have been carefully secreted in one of the most inaccessible areas of the Palace Library.  Eileen only wrote these down to prove she did have a reason for everything she did but it hasn’t helped her cause much.  After all there is no denying that she is awkward…

Education
Considered phenomenally important, all species go to school to learn the 3 Rs, magical history, how to write and read fairytales correctly, how to perform magic (how much depends on species, all groups have their own limitations and have inherited powers, which again vary) and the Kingdom’s constitution.  Nobody can leave education until they pass exams in this and get a decent grade.  Some species, notably the sprite, stay at school for years...

Good as concept
According to the Witch, good is defined as being what the Fairy Queen says it should be.  And that lady will not accept the possibility that the Witch had ever been hard done by.  Eileen does, which is why the Witch was reluctant to have to kill Eileen and tried to avoid the scenario where it would be necessary.  Naturally the Queen said “good is good” and all right minded people would agree.  Most would accept the monarch is generally right but if they’d known the full story behind the Witch’s attitude would also accept that the crone had a point which should have been dealt with honourably and wasn’t.

Imagery
The Queen’s official image is carefully controlled, something she shares in common with Queen Elizabeth Tudor.  Mind, some of the latter’s gowns, even the fairy monarch considers a tad OTT.  And the magical ruler would never tolerate a ruff getting in the way or making her neck feel itchy.  But portraits are carefully set up, as they were for Queen Elizabeth, and circulated widely.

Friendships
Almost everyone in the Kingdom sticks to within species for friendships and then refines that to within their own village and/or nearest neighbouring village.  Eileen is unusual in befriending all kinds of species though in fairness she makes enemies out of them too!  Had Eileen been blessed with a modicum of tact, she would have made an excellent ambassador.

Enemies
Much the same applies as above though Eileen is blessed with the gift of finding it phenomenally easy to make enemies.  Indeed she’s been known to consider this a sign she’s carrying out her fairy godmother role properly.  They’re bound to make enemies putting evil right. 

Bereavement
The measure of how much someone cared.  The closer the connection, the tougher the bereavement.  On this there is a similarity with how most humans feel.  Eileen has pointed out many times in her old world that humans are at their best when they care.  And that most humans do.  This view is believed to be simplistic by most magical beings.

Love
The force that makes folk do things for others when it costs them to do so or where there is no obvious reward.  The force that keeps you going when everything is bleak.  Most magical beings are surprised humans can experience this too.

Pollution
Anything that damages the environment is a bad thing, no matter what planet the environment is on.  Naturally the Kingdom does not see its own magical wars where it damaged the land as pollution - that’s something humans do - but of course there are none so blind as those that won’t see.

Kinship
Something that is treated as very important by all species in the realm.  This is why the Queen felt so betrayed when Eileen defected.  Eileen didn’t just walk away from her calling as a fairy godmother.  She walked away from her only surviving family.  The fact this kind of thing would not go down well even on Earth doesn’t impress the monarch.  Even there she can’t give credit for mere humans having decent feelings.

Homes
One thing the Kingdom shares with humans, especially English ones, is the importance of cherishing the place where you live.  Everyone from the Queen and her Palace to the trolls and their caves cherishes where they call home.  Invading another home is considered and treated as a serious criminal offence.  It is also an act of gross stupidity.  Would you really want to invade a troll cave?

Gardening
The Queen would like to make this a compulsory hobby but Eileen pointed out firmly it then wouldn’t be a hobby.  And it would make people sick of gardening.  The Queen quickly abandoned the idea.  Eileen herself likes light gardening but is nowhere near as fanatical as the Queen or her beloved Derek.

Fine Art -
Most species accept this category covers paintings, sculptures, music even though the likes of Wes and Stan want Play Pixie Monthly included given they say they are truly awestruck by the pictures in this magazine.  While that is in no doubt, theirs is likely to remain a minority view.  The sprite communities do have some appreciation for art (especially good pictures) but are generally considered oafish by everyone else since they have to be dragged into art galleries and so on, the only group that does this.

Culture
Each Kingdom species has its own culture, special stories and songs though almost everyone agrees the sprites’ version of culture is disgusting, being full of innuendo.  They themselves argue that is a cultural art form in itself as innuendo has to be subtle to be at its best.  Again they’re on their own with this one.

Writing
The Kingdom sees this as one of the finest of the fine arts.  Stories form a large part of the realm’s history.  The stories emanating from the magical realm make it to other universes via certain selected minds.  Minds open to the idea of the magical.  On Earth the obvious candidates here were Hans Christian Anderson and the Brothers Grimm.  Every species has at least one volume of fairy tales in their own home.  All are encouraged to read.  Indeed the hour equating to 7 to 8 p.m here on Earth is meant to be reading time for all not in public office.  Those in public office are meant to have their reading time the moment they come off duty.  The Queen never comes off duty as such but she reads in bed.  All species are encouraged to read about other worlds (though Eileen’s texts on places she visited are only available to adults, willing to give their names and addresses, most don’t).  The Queen encourages a good reading of the official history books.  And when she encourages, she really encourages…!  Most know how to take a hint when they get one.

Duplicity
Something the Queen considers Eileen is full of while Eileen takes the opposite view!  This is not new.  Practically every monarch and heir here has been wary of the other and the heir especially has had to be careful when “playing” the Palace system.  Too much of it and a treason charge awaits.  Too little and you alienate those important members of the Household whose backing you need to be a successful monarch should the call come.

Books
The Kingdom cannot imagine any world without books.  Earth has produced some wonderful writers and it is one of our more redeeming features in their eyes.

Wisdom
Something nobody on any world can ever have too much of.

Evil
Evil is in the eye of the beholder in the fairy realm though in fairness most evil here is outright.  Most of the bad guys believe in being upfront about it.  They want to challenge the government.  Naturally the Witch and her allies see themselves as the good guys.  The fact the rest of the realm disagree they ignore.

Good
Good is in the eyes of the beholder too.  The fairy royals insist there is no arguing about it and in fairness they can prove their goodness.  Course the Witch thinks it all soppy sweet and condemns it regularly.  Eileen has mixed feelings.

Knights of the Round Table
The Queen considers this kind of story romantic, moving, entertaining but suitable for private reading purpoes only.  She likes her knights to be practical and incorruptible.  L’Evallier who tries to hold her to account sees himself as her Chief Knight.

Sportsmanship
Something the Queen expects every one of her subjects to have, though they all know they don’t.  Also there hasn’t been a sprite yet known to be genuinely sporting.  They all fight if results don’t go their way.  The monarch refuses to believe there’s any sportsmanship on Earth despite Eileen saying otherwise.  This is likely to remain the case.

Photography
The Queen is fascinated by this.  While not having a go herself, she does collect works of photographic art (landscapes especially) and has been known to bring back from Earth particularly good examples.  Eileen has tried to use this to force her cousin to admit there is something good about humanity after all but the Queen will not oblige.  She’ll shop and make no comment!

Wishing
One of the most powerful forces in the Fairy Kingdom.  Children are taught to wish in the right way whilst young.  And nobody is allowed to wish for more wishes, incluidng the Queen.

Weeding
Eileen sees her job as a fairy godmother as being the ultimate weeder - the weeder out of all things evil.

Archive Keeping
Considered by the Queen, Eileen, the Librarian and FNN as one of the most important skills.  It is illegal to interfere with any archive.  All archives need to be checked by experts in the fields the theme is on about before being issued for public use.  The Librarian has several minor fairies helping her with this task.  Part of the role involves keeping the sprites out as they would exploit information they’re not entitled to for their own private gain.

Gas
Something Eileen is full of when talking about the need to treat humans decently.

Humanity’s view of magic
Either grossly underestimated (children’s fairy tales being seen as twee) or could be dangerous if they take an interest in magic.  Then they might accept it exists, possibly followed by explorers wanting to find the physical Fairy Kingdom.  Practically everybody in the magical world is against that idea.

Storytelling
The vital passing of information both for learning and entertainment.  Writers are hugely admired in the fairy world.  Making up stories is something everybody in the Kingdom can do and generally they feel this should be encouraged on Earth.  If humans are too busy telling tales, they won’t be fighting.

Hobbies
What humans need to keep them out of trouble.  Sadly when sprites take up hobbies it tends to put them into even deeper trouble.  The Queen loves gardening.  Some of her lady’s maids are known to love sketching.  Reading is widely encouraged (though names are taken if you want to go into certain sections of the Library so most people don’t bother).  FNN has some programmes on gardening, books and artistic crafts to encourage hobbies.  If everyone is too busy indulging in their hobbies, they won’t have time to riot.

Street Parties
These are held once a year in honour of the Queen’s birthday.  They’re not compulsory, there is a public holiday on the nearest Friday but practically everyone has a get together with family and friends.  The Royal Household has one huge party on the rolling lawns with the Queen as their Guest of Honour.  FNN would love to film these but there is more chance of a snowflake surviving in hell than this coming about.  The Queen and her Household are very close - the latter is very much her family - so this is their party with no outsiders welcome.

Helping
This is what the good magical folk do.   Anyone else and it’s called evil machinations.

Fairytales
Are true and important historical documents.  The Kingdom believes that the likes of Hans Christen Andersen and the Brothers Grimm were granted privileged access to their files to get the stories down for humans.  The Kingdom has no intention of granting that access again to anybody and the current Queen cannot understand why it was granted in the first place.  She also has a grave distrust of the Disney films seeing a lot of them as twee for making the endings nicer (see The Little Mermaid and then compare with the original tale).  Eileen agrees with her cousin here.

Flying
The only way to travel as far as the fairies are concerned.  And unlike humans they don’t pollute the air as they do so, something they’re very proud of, unless they’ve had an exceptionally heavy meal the night before.  In this case, it is advisable not to fly too close behind the affected fairy.  Incidentally fairies “don’t suffer from wind” according to the Queen.  Rather they are suffering from “a temporary and unfortunate intestinal complaint, the kind that can happen to any species”.  Eileen is far more blunt - she prefers to call a fart a fart and have done with it much to her cousin’s distaste.

Environment
Something to be taken of and cherished, something neglected by humans, but the Kingdom ignores its own barren lands, caused by their own actions.  They see that as “just history”, nothing to do with them now.

Hunting
Certain members of the magical nobility do hunt.  The Queen and Eileen do not.  They save their hunting skills for tracking down errant magical beings.  The Queen does sometimes do some clay pigeon shooting (she uses her wand) as she sees it as usual for markmanship.

Arts
Painting, literature, sculpture, music, drama and comedy - all considered wonderful things.  The Fairy Kingdom is somewhat surprised we enjoy them too.  They consider these things too good for the likes of us.

The Fairy Kingdom is keen to make it known that whatever Eileen defines, there is a greater than 90% chance they will disagree with her views.

Trouble
Can be summed up in one word - Eileen!

Damage Limitation Exercises
Always needed when Eileen’s around and a pain in the neck for eveyrone else.  Queen resents having to use these as she sees it as a waste of magic but given Eileen’s capacity to cause mischief where nobody would usually think it was possible to cause mischief, the monarch is taking no chances.

Humanity
Destructive pests.

Magic
The superior form of magic, far better than anything in any other universe, according to those who practice it.  The Kingdom is at a loss as to how humans manage without it and the realm is divided as to whether having magic would make humans less destructive or if they’d misuse the extra power, causing even more destruction.

Pollution
Any world where humans live because we’ll pollute it quickly.  Seen as vile and unnecessary, those attributes are also given to humanity by those magical beings with extreme views.

Sprites
If the Kingdom could nominate a magical species they could do without, the sprites (pixies and imps) would be it. It has been suggested sprites have an inferiority complex, caused by every other magical species and the sprites shows this by fighting and being a general pain.  Nobody, including Eileen, wants to build bridges with this lot!  It is felt the sprites need to stop their fighting first.

Interference
When anyone tries to tell the magical world what to do, though naturally it is all right for them to advise others!  Eileen sees interference as just something she does.

Fairytales
Known to Eileen as historical records.  She admires the works of the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christen Andersen and thinks they’ve got the basic facts covered but can also see the point of the Disney “sanitized” versions.  Even she doesn’t really want to scare the very young kids.  And she also believes if Earth knew what really went on in the fairy world, most would be very scared indeed.  It is perhaps as well for humanity a lot of the magical species squabble amongst themselves.  If they united and decided they fancied another planet to live on, Earth would not be safe.  It is as well for us that most magical species do despise Earth and its inhabitants.

History
The version of events put out by the winners.  Eileen was impressed to come across this view on Earth.  She had thought only she could be that cynical…  To her it proves some humans are capable of thinking for themselves, a welcome development.  Yes, she has no idea  how patronizing she is!

Hairdressing –
A tedious way of wasting time as far as Eileen’s concerned.  A quick wave of her wand when Derek is out gives Eileen whatever hairstyle she wants.  Derek is still amazed at how quickly Eileen can get her hair done but knows better than to query it. 

TV “Talent” Shows –
Eileen loathes all of these (though she can understand Strictly Come Dancing given Dancing is at least a skill).  She’d love to use her wand to obliterate the lot and is well aware many, many humans would support that.

Magic –
The kind shown on Earth’s television shows Eileen despises though it does have one use in that if humans think this is what real magic is, they’ll never investigate.

Pest Control –
Being sent all over the place at the whims of an awkward monarch at all hours and in all conditions and your sheer physical efforts here not being appreciated.  Eileen considers her husband’s version of pest control very inadequate.

Picnics –
Charming outdoor meals ruined by wasps and ants.  One of the few definitions that apply to Earth and the Fairy Kingdom.

Word Processing – what Eileen does whenever she recites a spell!

Racing
Eileen doesn’t mind watching athletics but disapproves of horse racing.  She thinks the horses should run if they want to and money definitely should not be involved. 

Sport
Eileen generally considers this a good thing and since coming to Earth has learnt to swim the human way (her wings and other fairy apparatus conceal themselves).  Humans engaged in sport are far too busy to be beastly to each other…

Dancing
Eileen and Derek love this though his arthritic knees limit how often he indulges (though Eileen noted long ago he has not cut back on his gardening).  Eileen loves the waltz - she considers it her dance.  The fairy world loves dancing too.  Eileen prefers not to think about that.

Banter
This is what Eileen indulges in with Derek (amongst other things!) but if anyone does this to her, it is considered the height of rudeness.  In the case of Wes and Stan, she’s right of course.

Immigration
Eileen sees this as an understandable wish to escape a joyless world and find a better one in which to live.  After all that was her experience.

Pressure
Eileen’s natural state of being, especially when in the Fairy Kingdom.  Eileen sees how someone handles pressure as an excellent indicator of character.

Authority
This is something to wear lightly to be at its most effective, as far as Eileen is concerned.  The Fairy Queen does not agree.  She likes everyone to know she’s boss.

Bragging
What everyone else does when showing off.  Naturally when Eileen’s done something to be proud of, she sees it as having a healthy self-esteem!

Genetics
Something Jenny hopes can be used as a general guide only as she really does not want to have all of her mother’s characteristics as it will make her more of a fairy than she already is and that’s far too much as it is.  Jenny’s hoping that taking after her father in her love of nature and so on will help balance out her mother’s genes somewhat though nothing’s going to take the girl’s wings and magical traits away!  Some wishes can’t be granted!

Waste
Something Eileen detests and one of the worst aspects of humanity as far as she and the Fairy Queen are concerned.  This is partly due to pollution concerns but also both women feel if humans can waste things without a care in the world, we can also waste our fellow humans without a care in the world.  Sadly there’s some truth in this.  Eileen will acknowledge the faults of her own world though, the Queen will not.

Herbal Remedies
Eileen does not have a lot of time for these on the grounds where she comes from she has found far too many examples of herbal remedies which are nothing more than a sprinkling of parsley, a load of water and a fancy printed label claiming this mix will cure ills ranging from a witch’s curse to athlete’s foot (or even the other way round!).  Jenny does like herbal remedies.  Eileen thinks this makes Jenny gullible.  Jenny resents the implication. 

Tea
One of life’s mysteries to Eileen as she’s never been able to make a decent brew, odd really for a fairy godmother.  Jenny later appreciated she should’ve realised there was something alien about a “Brit” being unable to make a decent cuppa.  Nor will Jenny allow Eileen to make a cup magically.  Magic has caused them both enough grief without ruining a drink that doesn’t need magic to make it properly or at least not by “normal people” (an attitude Eileen does not like!).

Coffee
Eileen can make a passable coffee though she prefers it when Derek makes the hot drinks.  She herself has been surprised that her “alien” status has shown up in something so mundane as hot drink making.

Chocolate Biscuits
One of humanity’s better inventions and for once the Fairy Queen agrees.

Dentists
Torturers, bound to be in league with the Tooth Fairy, the one magical being Eileen is known to really be scared of.  Eileen is not frightened of the Witch (though well aware of her capabilities) or other fairies generally but the Tooth Fairy has everyone  on her list and even Eileen is not exempt.  Eileen doesn’t like that.

Just Desserts
What Eileen always gives out to those meriting it.  Others call it the tough approach.  The critics point out it is Eileen who defines what is just.

Hayfever
Something Jenny is prone to and a misery for those suffering from it.  Eileen sees it as a pathetic complaint and people, including Jenny, should just stop whinging.  Jenny’s response was to tell her mother to never apply to go on the Samaritans’ phone helpline.  People want sympathy and it’s clear to Jenny Eileen can’t manage it.  This did not go down well and if anyone other than Jenny had said it, they’d have been in trouble.

Laziness
What someone’s suffering from when they can’t match Eileen’s levels of fitness.  Eileen doesn’t allow for the fact that most are nowhere near as fit as she is but could still put a credible effort in.

Festivals
Events to celebrate the best of humanity’s efforts.  Eileen has time for them all but with one exception - she has no time for the talent show spotting type events (they’re a business drumming up racket in her view).

Cinemas
Eileen has been impressed by the movies. Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter - Eileen is a lady who can see these films as documentaries of magical life on other magical worlds.

Texting
An abysmal abuse of the English language.  Eileen believes fervently in proper spelling and grammar, both of which are unceremoniously dumped when texting.  On the plus side this modern means of communication is the only thing that makes her think kindly about American spelling given texting in her view is far worse.

Email
Eileen can see the point of this though she has never used it.  She would welcome this coming into the Fairy Kingdom as it would be quicker than having to ask one of the Queen’s clerks to draw up a special scroll either for them to write on or for Eileen to do so directly.  For a royal nothing is simple.  There is no “just” about writing a letter.  For them it is the formal scroll and all the artwork to go with it or nothing.

Libraries = Founts of Knowledge. 
Eileen visits her local one at Kirkham every couple of months.  Jenny plans to take Edward there once he’s a little older.

Leprechauns
Nothing but trouble as far as Eileen’s concerned.  Fictional beings as far as Jenny’s concerned.  One of the ladies is right and Jenny is livid it isn’t her.

Writing
One of mankind’s better achievements though unless someone’s a calligrapher the style is nowhere as neat and beautiful as that found in the Fairy Kingdom especially on its classic works.  Eileen is not overly fazed by this as she thinks the illuminated scrolls, while beautiful, smack of pretentiousness on somebody’s part and prefers, for herself, simple direct writing with a decent fountain pen, or at a pinch, biro.

Boredom
Something only weaker minded humans could invent, Eileen believes.  After all her Derek is never bored - and he certainly isn’t when he finds out what she is!

Daytripper
Someone who visits Eileen’s town on a whim and gets in the way of the locals.  In fairness it isn’t just Eileen who has that view.  Even the kind hearted Derek has been known to complain bitterly when tourists either crowd the route to the garden centre or, worse, go into it and buy plants and other items Derek had his mind on.

Wildlife Documentary Maker
Someone who shoves their camera into the sex lives of animals and birds and who ought to know better in Eileen’s view.  She is of the thought that unless you’re a total imbecile you will know you need a male and a female for reproduction but you don’t actually need to show this on screen.

Work
Food for the soul.  Eileen considers unemployment as one of the less publicized evils.  She can’t imagine anything worse than not being busy.  She also considers humans working and providing for each other as one of our virtues, not that the Fairy Queen agrees.  It’s easier for her to assume there are no virtues.  Eileen thinks her cousin wears her prejudices like an awkward comfort blanket.

Suffragette
Heroine. Eileen, before defecting, made sure she was coming to an era in Earth time where there were at least some female equality regulations.  Eileen doesn’t understand though why actresses want to be known as actors now.  Her attitude here is be equal and be proud of your status as a woman.  Actor to her doesn’t confer that.

Red carpet events
A Day Out for Non-Entities.  Eileen generally not sympathetic!  She never had the red carpet out when she was carrying out royal engagements in the Kingdom, insisting she didn’t need it.  Everybody knew she was royal so why bother?  Whilst respecting the earthly Queen, Eileen has little time for protocol.  But then when you’re out fighting dragons all day, Eileen has had to learn to prioritize.

Bad
As in having a really rotten day and having survived three assassination attempts all before coffee time at 11 a.m.  And Eileen has had a lot of bad days.

Questioning
Something Eileen refuses to face.  She has no time for nosey parkers.  Since being on Earth and watching investigative documentaries, she has seen the need for this kind of journalist but wild horses would have to drag the admission out of her.

Dragons
Vastly overrated lizards in Eileen’s view.  Not one of them has any manners.

Wizards
Vastly overrated magical practitioners.  Mind there’s never been much love lost between fairies and wizards.  The latter tends to look down on the former.  That kind of attitude will cut no ice with Eileen.

Holidays
Not something Eileen indulged in much in the Fairy Kingdom though she did sometimes stay at the Queen’s coastal property.  On Earth, Eileen and Derek tend to stick to exploring Scotland.  And yes she does use magic to keep the midges at bay.  She prefers that to using Jungle Formula.  To date Derek has not picked up on the fact it’s rather odd that they’re never bothered by midges when others around them are!

Gardening
One of the most useful creative activities humans indulge in and very handy for keeping Derek out of her hair when Eileen needs to nip back to the Kingdom sometimes.   The only slightly worrying thing for Eileen is that her Derek is as fanatical about the garden as her nemesis, the Fairy Queen, is about her grounds and that area where she plants things directly herself.  Eileen doesn’t like to think about things in common with the monarch… she’ll try and exploit it to Eileen’s detriment.

Advertising
A complete waste of time and resources.  Eileen’s very suspicious of any advertising.  She sees it as the slick trying to con the gullible.

Toffee nosed
Eileen applies this to anyone who doesn’t seem to appreciate her blunt manner of speaking.  By definition that would mean about 90% would end up being called this by Eileen.

Diplomat
Someone who tells lies for their government.  Not a role Eileen could take.

Schools
A place to keep children out of the way and busy.  Eileen likes this.  A child with not much to do heralds trouble as far as she’s concerned.

Terror
The appropriate response for anything remotely evil when confronted by Eileen.

Housekeeping
Managing the hell that is housework and again not for Eileen.  This kind of task can be left to others as far as she’s concerned.

Nocturnal
Normal shift as far as Eileen’s concerned.  The fact that it’s dark out there means nothing to her.

Obstinacy
What the Fairy Queen is guilty of.  Eileen’s viewpoint is perfectly reasonable from her viewpoint only.  Eileen sees herself as being determined.

Rock Music
Unbearable noise.  Not a view Jenny shares.

Classical Music
Heavenly noise!  Jenny does share this view though her tastes in music are far broader than her mother’s

Computers
Something humans are far too fond of in Eileen’s view.  She believes many treat their PCs better than their fellow humans, not something to be encouraged.  She also has no idea how to use a PC nor does she wish to learn.  Jenny of course is proficient at using one and has no time for her mother’s attitude.  Jenny also thinks that this kind of technology shows humans being “clever”, something that doesn’t fit in with the fairy world’s generally dismal view of human achievement.

Telephones
A noisy intrusion in a couple’s private life which roughly translated means Eileen is fed up to the back teeth with the thing ringing its head off when she and Derek are having a cuddle or more on the sofa.

Public Transport
Recipe for chaos given it’s nowhere near organized other, the one exception being London.  Eileen can’t understand why outside the capital other buses and trains don’t run to time given they face far less traffic.  She herself resists using public transport as she knows she’d have to fight the temptation to get the old wand out and put things right on the network in a way no government could ever manage.  And that would attract the attention of the Queen…

Museums
Where you put old stuff, mostly purloined from other countries.  This doesn’t just apply to Britain either in Eileen’s book. 

Pageantry
Posh parade.  Eileen likes the British Royal Family’s flair here.  She thinks it dignified.  The Fairy Queen tends to go overboard on the bunting and fairy dust and magical displays which Eileen has always felt was showing off.

Talent Shows
A vehicle showing the lack of imagination on the part of TV executives who could be commissioning new comedy, drama, thrillers etc and that’s regardless of the tat Eileen has so often spotted on these things.

Soap Operas
Whilst Eileen welcomes the fact these are dramas, she loathes the melodrama of these things.  She’d much rather the time slots were used for more comedy and/or sci-fi.  On this, Eileen and her author speak with the same voice.

Gardening
One of the best things humans do in Eileen’s view.  It’s being creative, contributing to the well being of the planet and is therapeutic for gardeners themselves.  Eileen also admires Derek’s great talent and hard work here.

Toddler and Mums Groups
Those places where the little darlings scream their heads off and their shattered mothers have cups of tea and share mutual sympathies.  Not the place to go if you’re migraine prone.

Art
A mess (unless it’s a nice landscape or a sculpture you can make sense of, Eileen’s tastes here are very traditional).

Clowns
Men who like tonnes of makeup and big, useless shoes are to be avoided in Eileen’s books.  She can’t get her head round this at all and understands why some folk do have a phobia here.

Dentists
Agents of the Tooth Fairy and not to be trusted.  Eileen’s never visited a human dentist.  Nor does she have any plans to change that.

Love
Being prepared to get up in the middle of the night to help care for a sick child when the person doing this must be up early for work etc.  Eileen adores Derek for having done this.  She finds human ill health strange to deal with.  She’s literally never had a day off ill.  So when Jennifer shows signs of ill health, Eileen welcomes this assuming this means magic in the girl’s life must be limited.  On this the godmother is wrong.  Jennifer’s magical abilities have simply been suppressed and it was inevitable the dam would burst here.

Liking
An under-rated quality, Eileen thinks.  It’s the ability to be liked for oneself.  Jennifer finds this easier to manage than her mother does, which comes as a surprise to nobody.

Debate
Where one person dominates the conversation, calls it a debate but interrupts everyone else and speaks interminably.  Eileen’s not surprised at the existence of the political debate programmes but refuses to watch them.

Climate Change
Eileen knows this exists.  She watched it happen from her days in the Fairy Kingdom.  She isn’t surprised sceptics pour scorn - it’s easier to do that than take responsibility for one’s actions after all.

Information
What Eileen needs to know.

Misinformation
When someone gives Eileen wrong information.  This happened in Eileen’s early career in the Kingdom.  Eileen gave them several painful zaps from her wand.  She was not deliberately misinformed again after that.

Mayhem
A little local difficulty that Eileen puts paid to (we’d define it as rioting).

Romance
Not pinching all the duvet off your spouse/partner.

Hollywood
Fantasy Land!  Not good when an actual fairy godmother thinks this and that the place is crazy.

Bureaucracy
Something carried out by the incompetent, or so Eileen has found.  Yes she can make the Duke of Edinburgh seem the soul of tact but someone ought to, yes?  I’ve long believed the Duke is the Queen’s secret weapon.  Every time he puts his foot in it, she gets all the sympathy going from women whose husbands/partners have ever done likewise.

Winter
= God’s resting period for nature.  Eileen sees winter as having its own beauty.  She also sees no point in complaining about bad weather in winter.  What else should you expect during the winter season?

Spring
= God’s creative time.  While Eileen has some sympathy with hayfever sufferers, she sees spring as a time to be out and about.  She also sees spring as proof that humans are not the most creative species ever.

Gossip = Information source.  Eileen has put a stop to many a magical misdeed thanks to information gained this way.

CCTV = Cursed Contraption To (be) Voided. 
Eileen hates the cameras.  While she has some respect for genuine investigative journalism, she sees CCTV as licensed snooping.

Fashion
= Skimpy clothes which don’t flatter most women.  Eileen wonders if the designers really like women or whether they’re having a laugh against the female sex.  If she can ever prove the latter, these designers will be in trouble!

Stillettos
= Eileen occasionally wears these for going out for meals with Derek but this is mainly to prove she can wear them.  She wonders whether these were invented by someone wanting to drum up business for their chiropractice as goodness knows only how many women have had their spines put out by wearing these things.  Eileen doesn’t consider these as weapon.  She laughed like a drain at the Bond film where the woman has poison tipped blades coming out of her shoes.  Eileen considered these crude.  She never revealed where she kept her weapons.  It’s always best to keep the enemy guessing.

Silk Underwear
= In Eileen’s eyes (and Derek’s!), the best clothing invention ever…
_

Graciousness
= All Eileen knows is that this isn’t for her.  It gets in the way of plain speaking.

Celebrity
= As far as Eileen’s concerned, you can substitute the words “Waste of Space”.  She does not count as celebrities those who achieve great things in the arts or sport - she sees them as achievers.  She does count as celebrities those who are famous for being famous.  She cannot see the point of this.  The one thing that cheers her up on this is that most humans share the same view.  For her this is a sign she’s blending in well.

Housework
= Hell.  And what magic should be used for in Eileen’s view.  While she accepts the need for cleanliness, why go to all the effort yourself when a wave of the wand takes care of the jobs?  Her only proviso is to exercise caution with apprentices, brooms and buckets of water. 

Codswallop
= What the Fairy Queen comes up with a lot of the time.  Eileen likes this expression.  Indeed she’s fond of any words she can really put some venom into!

Politics
= Needless bickering. 

Political Journalism
= Needless bickering written down or broadcast.  A means of spreading nonsense.

Wildlife
= Those creatures that are not human and in most cases have a great deal more intelligence.  Eileen is not an animal lover per se but she would prevent them coming to harm and sympathizes with those that lose their habitat due to human activity.

Belligerence
What is shown towards Eileen by those who oppose her.  She is right, of course, but she rarely considers whether the belligerence could possibly be justified.

Photography
An art form to be treasured as much as landscape painting, music, sculpture etc.

Paparazzi
= Scum who bring photography down into the gutter. _

Troublemaker
= Herself.  Eileen sees this as something to be proud of. 

Reckless, Irresponsible Idiot
= The Fairy Queen.  Naturally Roxannadrell would swap these two definitions around.

Human =
Destroyer of worlds (they’re starting on Earth). Derek is the exception.

Fairy Tale
= Wishful thinking on the part of humans.  Eileen considers the versions we have as far too wishy washy.  Her opinion of the Disney versions I could not repeat here. 

Alien
= Anything Eileen finds strange.  Given her wide experience with different worlds and species, and her run-ins with her regal cousin, there isn’t much Eileen does find alien.  When she does it tends to be related to how humans do things.

Men
= Someone at the behest of their hormones.  This does include Derek.  Not that Eileen is complaining.  Their marriage has been happy for a very good reason!

Women
= Civilising Influence on Men.  Eileen tends to blame women when men go off the rails on the grounds the ladies weren’t doing their job properly.  This is a very old fashioned view by Eileen’s standards.  Hanastrew, for example, thinks the individual should take responsibility for their own mistakes.

Magic
= Power Source that’s often more trouble than it’s worth, but it is okay for her to use it.

Secrets
= Again more trouble than they’re worth but it’s fine if she keeps them.  She knows what she’s doing.  This is not a view Jennifer shares.

Derek
= Sex on legs.  And a damned fine gardener.  Eileen has a penchant for a man who likes getting dirty…

Politicians
= People who like power and who forget they’re meant to serve their public.  In Eileen’s view this applies to both worlds she’s belonged to.

Journalists
= Licensed snoopers, guaranteed to cause trouble.  Eileen’s wary about the free flow of information.  While no dictator in the traditional sense, Eileen would prefer information to be “filtered” so the right information gets to the right people.  Naturally she would define what right was! _

Playtime
Where Eileen gets to blast some annoying sprite or puts an  uppity wizard in their place.  Before she got fed up with the Queen sending her out on dangerous missions all the time, Eileen used to enjoy her job.

Babycare
Eileen believes in imposing a strict routine but Jenny has learned to become more flexible.  She sticks to the important points of a regular bath, story and bedtime routine.  Meal times are less vital though she’s usually within half an hour of standard times.  Eileen thinks Jenny is a bit lax but for once doesn’t dare say so because of the latter’s battle with PND.  Jenny knows this and it’s helping her to enjoy motherhood more - her mother is there for advice and not for interfering.  This is a very different role for Eileen!

Newspaper
Also known as Muckraker.  Though Eileen is not unique in thinking this.

Media
Also known as Nosey parkers with a licence to snoop.  Also impertinent idiots who, not having a life of their own, think it okay to disrupt other people’s.

Broadcasting
Saying something as loudly as possible to as many people as possible without thought for the consequences