Blog Archives - Fairytales with Bite

Fairytales with Bite

LIVING IN A MAGICAL WORLD

30/10/2014

Conservation
The Kingdom is amazed any of this takes place on Earth. It doesn’t help them sustain their prejudice that every human is a warmonger and polluter. But things like the RSPB, RSPCA, WWF, the Forestry Commission and so on do challenge that view. The realm has a special fondness for anyone taking care of trees properly (including tree surgeons, yes the Kingdom has its own) given so many of them form part of the transport system in the magical world.

Wildlife Programmes
Many in the Kingdom tune in via crystal ball to watch our wildlife programmes as practically everyone in the realm appreciates the need to care for the natural world. Even the evil witches and wizards do knowing full well they’ve got to get the ingredients for their curses from somewhere and that somewhere must be sustainable.

The Lore
Fairy Kingdom stories, myths (they’re not considered the same) and the whole basis of the legal system. If it’s happened in fiction, it can happen in daily life in the magical world. Eileen treats the Lore warily as she knows many instances of when it’s been abused. She thinks it desperately needs reform. She has come up with ideas for how this might be done but they've all been turned down. She is not surprised at this. Saddened at the vested interests getting in the way, yes, but surprised, no.

Parliament
Also known as the Ultimate Talking Shop. Eileen sees this as a comment rather than a criticism given the Queen’s Council are no better. L’Evallier has been known to be very longwinded when he has felt the need to be.

Freedom
For Eileen this means freedom to do what she likes. And even when the Queen tries to stop her, Eileen exercises her freedom to circumvent that. Eileen is deeply suspicious of those in government. She wants to see evidence they are working beyond their own interests. This attitude does not go down well with the Queen. If Eileen wasn’t royal, there’s a good chance she’d be in a cell for a while. Quite a while in fact.

FURTHER USEFUL TIPS FOR LIFE IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM

30/10/2014

Don’t look down on anyone who’s scruffily dressed. They’re either (a) an exiled king, (b) an unlikely hero or (c) a witch or wizard hell bent on revenge for some slight and can’t go about in public in their usual form. Act cautiously with all of these options and be polite. The first two will welcome it and the last will at least have no excuse to obliterate you.

Don’t look down on those below or above average height. The former are likely to be heroic hobbits or dwarves and the latter ogres or giants. To get the wrong side of a dwarf means trouble (they are excellent with an axe for good reason, they needed to get a ferocious reputation to stop themselves from being wiped out by those who think anyone under four foot tall is a push over – they succeeded).

Always buy food, especially fruit, from a reputable market/greengrocer and not some little old lady who happens to be passing by and seems keen to get rid of a particularly large/red/shiny (or any combination of these) apple. There's no telling what she's added to it and keenness to get rid of something should act as a warning. You've got to ask yourself why!

USEFUL TIPS FOR LIFE IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM

29/10/2014

If your nearest major magical neighbour is a witch or wizard, keep your head down. It can’t do any harm to take precautions.

If you come across something saying “Eat me” or “Drink me”, don’t. You’ve got no idea what may be in these things. And we’ve had problems with greedy kids before who down everything they come across. The White Rabbit got off lightly.

Remember none of us can help how we’re made so no taking the mickey out of the “differently handsome”. Trolls don’t usually “do” humour unless it is to stuff the head of someone who offended them into a part of the body it was not meant to go into. They find that hilarious. You won’t.

Be wary of anyone who arranges for white roses to be painted red. There’s conclusive proof of an outside ego in action and it would probably pay for you not to be in the way of it.

In the magical world, very little really is as it seems so keep your wits about you. Though in common with our world, if something seems too good to be true, it is.

TRAVELLING IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM

26/10/2014

When you come across a map that says “Here Be Dragons”, take it seriously. Kingdom cartographers do not write these things on their wares without good cause. And if you can carry a portable fire extinguisher with you when out on your travels, just in case, this is always a good idea. As is investing in any "how to be a half-reasonable fighter with a sword, magic wand or any other implement to hand" course though be sure to check out the credentials of anyone offering such courses first. There are charlatans on every world, fictional or otherwise.

If you want to be a Kingdom cartographer, make sure you’re a powerful wizard, witch or fairy godmother first as you will need magical powers to (a) get through the wildernesses and (b) survive what lives in said wildernesses. Ensure you have fire proof, water proof, bomb proof drawing materials and pens as it is tough out there. Don’t trespass on marked property. Intruders aren’t welcome! Let's just say in the Fairy Kingdom the intruders that get eaten are considered to have got off lightly!

Explorers don’t tend to get a warm welcome here as they are considered an upmarket form of a nosey parker. So if you are an alien who likes visiting other worlds, keep it quiet. Blend in for a while, then disappear later. You’re more likely to get out alive if you do that. If someone doesn’t kill you directly, that same someone will find another magical being who will.

FAIRY KINGDOM POLITICS

26/10/2014

All magical groups are expected to vote regularly on their leader. Elections should be held every two years. All voting is to be seen to be fair and free. No magic will be allowed to be used in these elections. Any candidate using magic to aid their cause will be disqualified at once.

Given there are 22 differing magical species, the elections will be split equally so that 11 groups vote at a time. FNN is not allowed to interfere in the elections though they can report the results. Nobody in the Kingdom is going to be bored out of their skulls with endless political programming. Other worlds would do well to take the same tack.

All magical groups will follow best magical practice. Guidelines will be issued regularly by the Queen and her Council. Whilst the Queen and her Council expect the witches, wizards of an evil disposition and sprites to totally ignore this ruling, these groups should bear in mind that gives the fairy government the perfect excuse to take action against them.

The government would also point out that in the event of the Kingdom being attacked by outside forces yet again all species are expected to come to the realm’s defence on the basis of “better the devil you know”. Those who wish to steal the Kingdom’s powers will take them from everybody. And while nobody, even the Fairy Queen with her gifts of foresight, can be completely certain about what would happen, it is a racing certainty the process of taking powers away from everybody will not be a pleasant one.

MAGICAL CONTESTS AND CHEATING

26/10/2014

In any magical contest cheating is expected but never condoned. Those caught out will be obliterated by one of the Queen’s specialist spells. This is given as fair and proper warning. The Queen does not expect any whinging over this (thought she would point out that anyone obliterated is going to have a hard time whinging about anything). This law is devised on the SYR principle (Serve You Right) and there are no exceptions.

Remember that everybody will be looking out for cheats so it is best to assume you will be caught out by one of the Queen’s Council and/or Eileen. If caught by the latter, you will never hear the end of it before you then face obliteration. Indeed it’s quite likely you’ll be pleading for the end to come. Eileen can go on at some length and does.

Eileen is not tolerant of excuses and likes honesty (especially in other people. For her it is a useful option. Hypocrisy happens to other people as far as she's concerned). She also takes the view if you cheat in a magical contest, you'll cheat in other areas of life so she'll have in the back of her mind a suitable spell to use on you when she catches you out. For her it is a question of when and not if. For you, it is a question of when and not if!

MORE GOOD ADVICE FOR SURVIVING THE MAGICAL WORLD

22/10/2014

Make yourself useful in whichever village you end up in as nobody wants to get rid of beings like that. The person who puts the rubbish out is less likely to be a target than members of Her Majesty's Council. Humility, a good manner and hard work go a long way here and extend life expectancy.

Always have a decent spell book on you (appropriate for your species of course as a sprite carrying a witch book can expect a nasty and sudden death if a real witch catches him doing this) and have emergency spells stored in your memory and wand so you can use them quickly. Speed is vital here. As in Earth's Wild West, you do have to be quick on the draw.

When you come across a map that says "Here be Dragons", take it seriously. Kingdom cartographers do not write these things on their wares without good cause. And if you can carry a portable fire extinguisher with you when out and about, just in case, do so. It is always a good idea to be fully prepared for meeting dragons. If you meet a dragon unexpectedly, you'll be doing well if it gives you enough time to send up a few prayers.

USEFUL HINTS

21/10/2014

If you want to be a Kingdom cartographer, make sure you’re a powerful wizard, witch or fairy godmother first as you will need magical powers to (a) get through the wildernesses and (b) survive what lives in said wildernesses. Ensure you have fire proof, water proof, bomb proof drawing materials and pens as it is tough out there. Don’t trespass on marked property. Intruders aren’t welcome!

Explorers don’t tend to get a warm welcome here as they are considered an upmarket form of a nosey parker. So if you are an alien who likes visiting other worlds, keep it quiet. Blend in for a while, then disappear later. You’re more likely to get out alive if you do that. If someone doesn’t kill you directly, that same someone will find another magical being who will.

It is perfectly all right for fairy godmothers like Eileen to explore other worlds though. Almost anyone else would call what she does spying but the Kingdom sees it as necessary research.

FURTHER GOOD ADVICE FOR SURVIVING IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM

19/10/2014

Always study the local/national history, population make up and geography so you have some idea of who or what might come at you from where and why. It's also a fascinating read. It always pays to be forewarned.

Never annoy anyone more powerful than you. Assume everybody is more powerful than you! The Kingdom loathes show-offs so good manners, being humble and not causing troubles are all good survival techniques. You're also less likely to be asked to go on dangerous missions as the Kingdom likes to save these for known troublemakers (i.e. Eileen).

Don't dress up pretending to be a witch, fairy godmother and so on as it will only antagonize the real witches, fairy godmothers and so on. Fancy dress is something the Kingdom finds strange. Dress as a way of identity is hugely important here (which is why Eileen's liking for practical and warm separates, especially when flying, caused critical comment, mainly on the grounds of "if tutus in pink were good enough for previous generations of fairies, it should be good enough for her". Eileen's reply is "it isn't and how many previous generations of fairies died of frostbite because the cold got in somewhere unmentionable when out and about in the Kingdom. I don't intend to be another victim!").

WHAT I LOATHE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS (BUT WHAT MAKES THEM INTERESTING TO WRITE FOR/ABOUT)

18/10/2014

It's a question of where to start with Brankaresh, the Queen's Chief Wizard. He's power hungry, sexist and known to kill to advance his career. He does not believe in waiting for dead men's shoes! Indeed he's been responsible for the dead men being dead. He mistakenly feels he can force the Queen's hand and plans to marry her to gain access to the vast power house of spells the fairy royals own. The fact she is gorgeous (and wealthy) is a bonus but Manatrix, an old rival, feels Brankaresh would make love to a gargoyle if it helped his career. Brankaresh ends up allying himself with the Witch and together they do briefly overthrow the Queen but it all ends in tears - and the Queen is one of those characters determined to ensure they're not hers.

The Queen has difficulty understanding the need to distinguish between confidence and arrogance. It didn't occur to her Eileen would resent continually being sent out on dangerous missions, that it definitely looked as if Eileen was being sent out of the way (and possibly to her death) which would get up anyone's nose. The Queen, believing duty is all, feels that must automatically make her right, which it doesn't. The Queen does acknowledge she needs L'Evallier as a kind of conscience which is to her credit but she has the ability of her ancestor, Gwendolyn, to aggravate everyone. The Queen desperately needs to learn to be more humble.

DEVELOPING MY CHARACTERS

14/10/2014

I don't write character biographies like many writers do (though I can see the point of them) but I look for a major trait to start my characters off with. For example with Eileen, my rebellious fairy godmother, her major trait is stubbornness combined with honesty and bluntness. Now there's a combination! If anyone is going to drop themselves right in it even when there is no need to do so, it will be Eileen. Traits like that open up all sorts of story possibilities from humour to tragedy.

Once I've got the major trait I then worry about how the character sounds. I always hear the character's voice in my head before I "see" them. I always have been a radio kind of a person so I guess it reflects in how I write too. Eileen's voice is strident, clear and she wouldn't dream of whining about her lot. That kind of thing is for wimps. Then I start to fill in how Eileen looks. I made her a reasonably attractive character in terms of physical beauty because it explains how, sometimes at least, she can get away with things that frankly someone really ugly simply wouldn't get away with. Combine that with her stubbornness, you have a character who knows to use her assets to her best advantage and if that means using the old physical charms to help get things to go the way Eileen wants, she's all for it. Having said that, Eileen won't do anything that will affect her dignity or could compromise her or leave her open to blackmail but she can get a lot out of general flirting techniques - and does.

It's only when I can really hear my character and know their basic traits that I start to fill in things like what clothes they wear, what colour their eyes are and so on. I find this way of developing characters works for me.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS - L'EVALLIER, CHIEF ELF

12/10/2014

L'Evallier, Chief Elf, one of the most noble of his kind, is effectively the Queen's conscience. He sees it as his duty to be her gallant knight which, to him, also means making it very clear to her when she's wrong. He cannot be bribed or threatened. Nor will he abbreviate any words (though the Queen will if under stress or in a hurry) but his wife, Melanbury, has brought a new dimension to his life. As ever, it was an arranged marriage. She is almost as noble as he is but there is one crucial difference between their marriage and most noble marriages. L'Evallier is crazy about Melanbury. She, to begin with, is terrified of being in the same room as him, making Eileen wonder what her parents told Melanbury about sex, but eventually the marriage is consumatted. L'Evallier experiences a lot of frustration before that point (!) and is aware he is not supposed to show emotion. It is vulgar and undignified. He is not sure if he should feel any emotions either but Melanbury changes that. Melanbury gradually helps L'Evallier to become less of a stuffed shirt while still being a gallant, honest knight to the Queen.

L'Evallier is also brave, showing immense courage later when the Witch briefly manages to overthrow the Queen with Brankaresh's help. The elf becomes, for the Fairy Kingdom, its most noble resistance leader ever. He is also brave in not being afraid to criticize Eileen either and she respects him for it, while totally disagreeing with a lot of what he says about her.

LIVING IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM - WHAT IS EXPECTED OF YOU

12/10/2014

All magical groups will follow best magical practice. Guidelines will be issued regularly by the Queen and her Council. While they expect the witches, wizards of an evil disposition and sprites to ignore this ruling, these groups should bear in mind that gives the fairy government the perfect excuse to take action agains them.

The government would also point out that in the event of the Kingdom being attacked by outside forces yet again, all species are expected to come to the realm's defence on the basis of "better the devil you know". Those who wish to steal the Kingdom's magical powers will take them from everybody.

The Queen and her Council will be notified a month in advance of any gatherings where there will be fireworks. There have been too many previous instances where firework displays have been used as a cover to hide some nastier spells being unleashed against the innocent. Those organizing such gatherings will be vetted so if any witch or wizard thinks they can disguise themselves to get around this, think again as the Queen and her Council will put all the detect/reveal charms they have on any candidates and there are hundreds of such spells.

The Queen and her Council expect high standards for magically produced fireworks. The Queen especially likes artistry and magic can be used to produce something special here. Any wizard with useful hints and tips here who is willing to share said hints and tips will be rewarded by the Queen.

life in the fairy kingdom

9/10/2014

In any magical contest cheating is expected but never condoned. Those caught out will be obliterated by one of the Queen's specialist spells. This is given as fair and proper warning. The Queen does not expect any whinging over this (though she would point out that anyone obliterated is going to have a hard time whinging about anything). This law is devised on the SYR principle (Serves You Right) and there are no exceptions.

Remember that everyone will be looking out for cheats so it is best to assume you will be caught out by one of the Queen's Council and/or Eileen. If caught by the latter, you will never hear the end of it before you then face obliteration. Indeed it's quite likely you'll be pleading for the end to come. Eileen can go on at some length and does.

All magical groups are expected to vote regularly on their leader. Elections should be held every two years. All voting is seen to be fair and free. No magic will be allowed to be used in these elections. Any candidate using magic to aid their cause will be disqualified at once. Given there are 22 differieng magical species, the elections will be split equally so that 11 groups vote at a time. FNN is not allowed to interfere in the elctions though they can report theresults. Nobody in the Kingdom is going to be bored out of their skulls with endless political programming. Other worlds would do well to take the same tack.

MORE MAGICAL PRECAUTIONS

9/10/2014

Be wary of anyone who arranges for white roses to be painted red. There's conclusive proof of an outsized ego in action and it would probably pay not to be in the way of it.

In the magical world, very little really is as it seems so keep your wits about you. Though in common with our world, if something seems too good to be true, it is.

In the magical world strangers are (a) exiled kings in disguise, (b) evil witches or wizards or (c) some humble soul who is destined for greatness but doesn't yet know it. So be polite at all times, it will probably pay in the long run, don't turn your backs on said strangers just in case they are (b), and on the off chance they are (c) give them a hand. They're almost certainly due to save the world, which will benefit you too.

BASIC MAGICAL PRECAUTIONS

7/10/2014

If your nearest major magical neighbour is a witch or wizard, keep your head down. It can't do any harm.

If you come across something saying "Eat me" or "Drink me", don't. You've got no idea what may be in these things. And the magical world has had problems before with greedy kids who down everything they come across. It is generally considered the White Rabbit got off lightly.

Remember none of us can help how we're made so no taking the mickey out of the "differently handsome". Trolls don't usually "do" humour unless it is to stuff the head of someone who offended them into a part of the body it was not meant to go into. They find that hilarious. You won't.

CHARACTER MOTIVATIONS

6/10/2014

Many writers draw up character biographies to strengthen their understanding of their characters and so write about them more convincingly. I sketch out a rough outline of my characters but I tend to focus on their main character trait and what motivates them. Are they corruptible? (Brankaresh, yes - he's a slimy sod; Eileen - no, she's far too proud to be corrupted by anything or anyone).

I also "listen" to my characters' voices. Brankaresh sounds like a politician. Eileen is strident but honest, the kind of character that lands themselves right in it. There was no question as to who my main character in The Trouble With Mother was going to be. Someone who lands themselves in it, who is brave, prepared to stand up for what she believes in no matter what the cost to herself - Eileen had to be my "star". I love writing about and for her. Her tagline is hypocrisy is something that happens to other people. She doesn't care that in itself is a hypocritical statement.

I quiz myself as to whether my character motivations are strong enough. Are their traits and motives strong enough to carry a story? If they are, I get on with the story. If not, I rethink my characters until their motives are strong enough.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS IN THE TROUBLE WITH MOTHER - 2

5/10/2014

The Fairy Queen

The Fairy Queen is devoted to her realm, though devastated at coming to the throne much earlier than expected thanks to the assassination of her mother. The Queen feels duty is all and wants nothing to wreck the realm again, understandable given the Fairy Kingdom has been beset by wars. The Queen feels calm is crucial especially after her mother's death. The Queen does have courage and honour, recognizes people's true abilities but cannot understand why all are not as committed to the cause as she herself is. She sees Eileen as a loose cannon to be controlled, which is true to a certain extent, though she would've been better off dealing with Eileen's discontent. The Queen also recognizes L'Evallier's character for what it is and knows she needs him to tell her true, especially when she hates it.

The Chief Witch
The Chief Witch has grievances and good reason to hold them. She has more honesty and honour than most of her ancestors holding the hereditary title. She blames the fairy royals for losses to her family but is less keen to admit some relatives brought their misfortunes on themselves. She has a soft spot for Eileen, though the godmother is her chief rival. The Witch is intelligent, determined not to make the mistakes her ancestors did, but is blinded by her wish to take the throne and wield the ultimate magical power. She genuinely feels she has a better claim to the throne. Her one big mistake was not to take Eileen's offer of an olive branch. That mistake ultimately kills the Witch.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS IN THE TROUBLE WITH MOTHER

3/10/2014

Eileen
I love Eileen for her honour, honesty and courage. Her spiky awkward attitude is the flip side. She's committed to Derek, Jenny, Edward and (only for Jenny's sake), Paul. Eileen sees the disadvantages of magic and is not afraid to criticize her own sake. She sees her royal status as something to be used to help other people rather than to advance herself. She loathes evil. She is incorruptible. She sees through flim-flam, which is why she never got on with Brankaresh. The fact she is prepared to follow her heart and principles by going to earth and turning her back on all she's known takes great courage. It would've been far easier to dump Derek and stay in the magical realm. Indeed the Fairy Queen would have richly rewarded Eileen for doing that.

Jennifer (but known to everyone other than Eileen as Jenny)
I love Jenny for being prepared to stand up to her mother, which many in the magical world would not do. Jenny doesn't abandon Eileen after the latter's devastating revelation as to what she is despite the girl realizing immediately the fallout from this story is going to hit her hard. Jenny was tempted to do otherwise though, realizing it would be easier for her to dump her mother. Indeed if Jenny wanted to keep her comfortable life the way it was, dumping Eileen was the only way to achieve that. Jenny knows her own mind (can't think where she gets that from! well actually I can!) and marries a man she loves, like her mother did, despite Eilen taking an instant dislike to Paul. Jenny recognizes no man would have been good enough for her in Eileen's eyes. Later as Jenny comes to terms with her new status as a half-fairy, she finds her own way of using the magic she's inherited in her blood from Eileen (and the magic she studies) and the other magic given to her by the dying fairy, Rose. Jenny certainly does not do anything simply because her mother says she should.

WRITING FAIRYTALES

2/10/2014

What are my favourite fairytales and why?
I've always had a soft spot for Cinderella. My first published story, A Helping Hand, is based on the younger ugly sister's viewpoint. This story appeared in Bridge House Publishing's Alternative Renditions, where all the contributors had to tell the well known fairytales from the viewpoint of a lesser character. It was fun to do. And I was so thrilled when mine was accepted. So even more reason to like Cinders! I also like the obvious social justice ones like The Little Match Girl and Oscar Wilde's The Happy Prince. It is the only story of Wilde's I've ever read but it is a wonderful tale. I guess I like these because the morals are clear and the underdog is rooted for every time.

Writing Fairytales - the best bits?
I always feel a sense of relief when I get the first draft down on paper as I know I've then got something to work into shape (and boy does it need it!). I've always loved writing dialogue so I love getting decent conversations going between my characters. Of course I then to need make sure that all of my dialogue is relevant to the story and moves it on, else out it comes because I could write dialogue to the proverbial cows come home, which would not make the story a nice, crisp read. It could make it a very lengthy and long winded one!

I also like it once I've got the story down I can read it through and see yes, this is a proper fairytale. The characters are right, the situation is right. It's then just a matter of editing. I love slipping in humour when I can (where it's right for the story basically) as fairytales are very adaptable. Humour is a wonderful way of getting a message across without being preachy.