“Mothers aren’t supposed to have a past, yet alone one like Eileen’s.”
INTRODUCTION
The Trouble With Mother is a novel full of clashes: clashes of identity, conscience and worlds, as Eileen, a fairy godmother bent on reining in magical power abuses in the Fairy Kingdom ruled by her cousin, the Queen, defies convention, falls in love with a human, marries him and defects to earth.  Later her cousin and old world come after her and the child Eileen should never have had…hybrids are considered dangerous, as Kingdom history confirms. 

The novel spans decades as Eileen’s child, Jennifer, matures and marries.  When Eileen’s forced to reveal what she is, Jennifer must decide what world she wants and is there a place in it for her troublesome mother? Whilst the novel is told from Eileen’s viewpoint, the Kingdom’s Chief Witch rebels against the Queen, making the Queen’s attitude towards Eileen reasonable.  The Queen wants to know when push comes to shove which way will Eileen jump?  The wrong answer could prove fatal…

What do you do when you’ve continually risked your life supporting your family despite misgivings about their misuses of magic only to fall for someone from a species your world despises? You marry him and take the consequences, including those from producing a hybrid, and wait for your past to catch you. For all the dragons and ogres Eileen Paige, a brilliant fairy godmother, fought, she never anticipated her daughter would make her face that past again or that her cousin, the Fairy Queen, would trigger this to regain control over Eileen.

Jennifer is forced to question what to do when her usually sensible parent says she’s a fairy godmother and has physical proof.  This is a story about identity, losing control over your life, and the struggle to put family first regardless of external pressures.

The Trouble With Mother shows the struggle Eileen has before marriage, humans were imported to the Kingdom before with disastrous consequences, and the fall out from the Queen, who thinks Eileen’s behaviour betrayal, as she acceded to the throne through her mother’s assassination and needs all the support she can get, especially against her Council who pressurize her to wed. Chief Wizard Brankaresh feels the Queen should marry him. She decides to let her cousin marry but plans to reclaim Eileen. The human will die long before Eileen.  The Queen feels she can wait but bans Eileen from reproducing with this human.

When Eileen has daughter, Jennifer, the Queen, after initial anger (and worry about a hybrid’s capabilities) decides to claim the girl as she is partly magical. The Kingdom needs all the good magical beings it can get. Eileen’s determined not to sacrifice her marriage or family and gets Jennifer through childhood, college and married off without magic breaking out. The Queen is set on bringing both to their proper world and is prepared to trigger Jennifer’s inherent magical talent when it suits her. The Trouble With Mother shows the effects on Jennifer when the Queen makes Eileen reveal her past setting up a mother-daughter clash as well as continuing the Eileen-Queen one.  Once magic does show itself, there is no going back, as Eileen knows.

Books that make me see things in a different light or make me change my mind about something.  The Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey does this.  To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee opened up to my eyes just how unjust racism is and its consequences.

Books I enjoyed so much I'm happy to read them again.  Books I've only been able to get through once tend to be the books I donate to the charity shops.

Books that help me "see" what the author sees - where the images are clear and the dialogue realistic - as it is this ability that really takes me into the author's world.

I love stories of authors who get their breakthrough after years of hard work.  Those stories tend to give me more hope than those whose breakthrough seems to be "instant".

I also like the fact that age is no barrier, whether young or old, to coming up with a cracking story and getting it out there.

Entertainment!  There are times I want to learn (I turn to non-fiction for this usually) or to be deeply moved but I usually want to be made to smile/laugh, which is probably why I’m such a fan of Pratchett and Wodehouse.  My mother, who taught me to read,  has never liked funny literature.  Maybe this is a more subtle way of rebelling!

Characters who definitely did develop in some way be it for good or evil.

A plot I can follow no matter how many twists and turns it has!

The sheer joy of creating something from nothing and knowing this work is uniquely yours.  Your characters have their own lives and you find yourself rooting for them.  If you are caught up in your work and believe it, there’s every chance others will do so.  If you can’t believe it, nobody else will. 

Being taken away from the pains and trials of this world as you create your own characters and situation.  Writing can be amazing therapy.

Seeing your work in print or on the web and getting good feedback (good in terms of useful criticism and, yes, some praise is nice but beware the flatterer.  Vanity presses always flatter).

Getting the first draft down and then improving it by cutting out what’s not needed and knowing the story really is much better.  I get a lot of satisfaction out of that and it improves the chances of publication no end!

Enjoying well written how-to-write books as I learn a lot from all of them!  I particularly love reading interviews with other authors as they explain what works for them.  It’s encouraging when you realise you’re finding the same things work for you.

Enjoying the subtle phrase, oblique references (Terry Pratchett’s especially good at these) and hopefully getting to write some too!  It’s a bit like finally cracking the cryptic crossword when you come up with good oblique references of your own that you know others who read reasonably well will get.

Decent one-liners that make me laugh.

A story that shows me motivations or stresses characters are under that I might not have considered before.  For example murders are committed for serious reasons and to what appears to others to be trivial ones.  Yet a good story will take you into the mind of that murderer and show why the trivial reason isn’t trivial to them.

Good, sharp pace with quiet bits in between giving me good background on the setting and characters, knowing said quiet bits are gearing the reader up for the next big scene.

A satisfactory ending, which is not the same as a happy one necessarily.  The ending has to be right for the story and the main character.  It won’t feel right if the match isn’t there.

Characters I can rally behind (or metaphorically boo for) but either reaction has to be genuine.  I don’t want to see the author’s hand making their characters act in a certain way.  The characters’ acting has to be realistic for those characters.

I love getting to the end of a story or novel and in a sense wishing neither had ended.  Always a sign of a well told tale!  Going back over a story/novel and picking up the bits I missed first go around.  This is particularly true for a detective novel.  I always miss some of the clues on the first read!

I like a happy ending where the hero/heroine has “earned” it.  I also like to see villains get their comeuppance but again in a realistic manner.  Villains generally are not going to fall apart.  They can be caught out.

Every word to count…  Funnily enough that doesn’t necessarily mean everything has to be short but that each word is appropriate for the story being told.  In P.G. Wodehouse’s stories so often he uses very long sentences (he’d never get away with it now!) but not a word is out of place and indeed especially when Wooster’s narrating the long-windedness is part of (a) the character’s charm and (b) the character’s characteristics!

Positive developments in characters, especially a character that goes on to make something good out of themselves. 

I like pinpointing moments of change in a story and watching the drama unfold.

Feeling a slight sense of envy I didn’t write the story/novel I’ve enjoyed is a good sign - and nothing but a compliment to the actual author!

Bad spelling!  I can understand this being used to show an illiterate character but that’s all it should be used for and should only be part of the story/novel.  If authors can’t spell or be grammatical why should anyone else bother?  Writers ought to set a good example here, giving we claim to love the written word!  And texting is an abomination of the English language.  We’ve got vowels for a reason!  We need them!

Celebrity “writers”.  I’ve nothing against ghost writing in itself (I prefer to see ghosts properly credited as it is an art form stepping into someone else’s life convincingly in print) but the “writer” really should be writing something as a contribution to the work and not just their name on the contract!!  There are enough luvvies in the acting world.  Do we really need them in the publishing one?

The difficulties of finding publishers and agents! Being told you can’t have one without the other when you’ve tried very hard, and professionally, to get one of them! Whilst I’m getting short stories out, which is great, I still want to get my novels out. The fact there are charlatans about complicates things.  And when people claim they self published and you recognize the name of the publisher as a vanity company! Those authors will have paid thousands for the privilege of being published and lost their rights.  Self publishing means you keep the latter!

Authors generally being under-appreciated.  Yes we fiction writers make it up but it is hard work doing so in such a way the making it up works. Okay the work is good fun but so many people dismiss writing as something they’d do if only they had the time.  This is why it’s great going to a writers’ conference such as the one at Winchester.  You know you’ve got a sympathetic audience there!  Oh and never having enough time to do as much writing as I’d like!

Good, strong characters that make me care about them (and that includes caring enough to loathe them). 

Characters that can keep me guessing.  Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series is a great example of this.

Dialogue that flows…

One liners that can make me think, make me laugh or ideally do both.

A story or novel I don’t want to put down and it takes the need for sleep to do so!  That’s what I call a good tale.

Phrases that “hit the spot” in terms of aptness for the character, the situation and so on.  Wodehouse’s flowery prose (by today’s standards) is so appropriate for Bertie Wooster but would be hopeless for a more modern character.

Stories that can make me “feel”.

I learned a long time ago if someone makes something look easy, that said someone has worked their socks or other hosiery items of choice off for years to get that effect.  So when I read “easy to read” prose I inwardly salute the author who’s inevitably spent years on improving their writing.

I love series novels and Terry Pratchett has several within the Discworld series - Vimes, Death, Witches, Wizards and so on.  I love seeing the characters develop over several novels as well as in each individual one.

Well thought out plots.  Twists that genuinely surprise.  (I don’t mind spotting some in advance of the denouement but if I get to guess them all it spoils the surprise).

I adore well written, well rounded, gusty heroines.  This is why I much prefer to the lively Elizabeth Bennett to the, my mind, duller Fanny Price (Elizabeth gets into predicaments of her own making and works to put things right.  Fanny gets her man mainly because bad things happen to others to bring him to her - or at least that’s how I’ve always read Mansfield Park).

Stories that challenge injustices (To Kill a Mockingbird  and most of Dickens’ back catalogue are good examples!).

Stories that change my  mind about something I thought I knew.  The Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey changed my opinion about Richard III.

Stories that take me completely into their world so when I finish reading I feel almost bereft, sorry to go.

Stories that show me a whole new world.  Sci-fi and fantasy are the best for this.  Yes I know I can be shown a whole new world on earth but I prefer what other worlds in some universe could be like.

When there aren’t dragons and foul fiends to be got rid of quickly (which means calling in Eileen, Hanastrew or the fairy squad), most settlements arrange their evening entertainment based on the tastes of the majority species living in the place.   These entertainments take place outside during the spring and summer, in the Village Hall the rest of the year, and all who are able are expected to take part.  Shyness here is not tolerated.  It doesn’t matter whether you sing quietly or loudly, what matters is you sing.  To be fair, given all in the Kingdom know these traditions, shyness generally isn’t a problem.  It’s not given a chance to develop into one! 

Entertainments are held thrice weekly.  Whilst not compulsory to go to them all, most do and only being ill is considered a good enough excuse to skip attendance.  The entertainments usually involve singing, dancing, acting, recitals, and sports like football, cricket, rounders, anything team related as that gets as many of the village involved as possible.  The entertainments are usually great fun and very noisy.  And from the government’s point of view, they’re useful - the villages are not causing trouble for them.

Villages group together (in groups of five) annually for their summer carnival where al species takes part.  These are arranged throughout the season so the Queen and/or Eileen can attend them.  A lot of drinking takes place and that’s just by the organizing committees!  There are floats, on the theme of fairy tales and nursery rhymes, but you can get the Kingdom’s equivalent of an “avant garde” float based on the theme of how horrible humanity is, which always goes well.  There’s nothing like condemning an alien life form to bring magical beings together in a spirit of unity. 

Fairy tales and nursery rhymes must be re-enacted regularly in the magical world to keep the stories “alive”.  Once the carnivals are over for the year, there’s a lot of competitiveness to see which group of villages got the best coverage on FNN and which royal seemed to enjoy which festival most.  The debates from this keep FNN and the press going for material for months.  This material ranges from nice to poisonous.  The disappointment of those who didn’t get on the organizing committees or felt their carnival didn’t get enough attention can be physically felt by all magical beings for over twenty miles!

Eileen and Derek are proud of their garden and frequently eat Derek’s home grown fruit and veg.  Once Jenny left home and married Paul, Eileen and Derek resumed eating out at local pub restaurants until they found one so good they decided they wouldn’t go anywhere else.  Derek would love to be able to supply his own grown vegetables to a pub like this but knows he doesn’t grow enough.  This is not because of lack of space but because Eileen loves flowers.  Derek’s wildflower section is Eileen’s favourite bit of the garden.  Their butterfly visitors are amazing too (though Eileen still thinks her wing pattern is superior but is hamstrung by knowing she can't explain this to Derek without revealing what she really is).

During the blissful years before the Kingdom tried to claim Eileen back again, she and Derek spent a lot of their spare time visiting country estates.  She would admire the houses.  He, of course, studied the gardens and if he managed to spot the Head Gardener or any of the staff and have a quick word with them, Derek would consider it a really good day out.  Eileen would find this amusing, knowing full well the Palace gardeners would have found this irritating - how dare a mere human quiz them.  Yet Derek never had any problems here, impressing almost everybody he met with his wonderful gardening knowledge and that he was always keen to learn more.  His gardening skills benefited from his willingness to ask and learn.  His roses are widely acknowledged as the finest in Kirkham. trung as she can hardly tell/show Derek this without bringing a lot of trouble down on her head.

Eileen and Derek explored most of the stately homes in Southern England.  Eileen was beginning to move further north when the Kingdom decided it was going to get her back again.  Eileen is determined, when life is supposed to be what she meant it to be (only one viewpoint really matters to Eileen!), that she and Derek will explore these at their leisure.  Eileen has visions of luxurious coach trips while she and Derek do anything but.  Derek wouldn’t mind driving to some of them but strongly suspects his wife will put her foot down here.  One advantage of coach trips is Eileen can grip his hand and hold it sraight from the off.  Jenny and Paul like their own garden at Brenebourne but wouldn’t dream of going on this kind of trip, seeing it as for the “old folk”.  Jenny says this with a smile.  Her mother can hardly argue this without proving why she isn’t old in human terms. There’s no way Eileen will do that.

Villages group together (in groups of five) annually for their summer carnival where al species takes part.  These are arranged throughout the season so the Queen and/or Eileen can attend them.  A lot of drinking takes place and that’s just by the organizing committees!  There are floats, on the theme of fairy tales and nursery rhymes, but you can get the Kingdom’s equivalent of an “avant garde” float based on the theme of how horrible humanity is, which always goes well.  There’s nothing like condemning an alien life form to bring magical beings together in a spirit of unity. 

Fairy tales and nursery rhymes must be re-enacted regularly in the magical world to keep the stories “alive”.  Once the carnivals are over for the year, there’s a lot of competitiveness to see which group of villages got the best coverage on FNN and which royal seemed to enjoy which festival most.  The debates from this keep FNN and the press going for material for months.  This material ranges from nice to poisonous.  The disappointment of those who didn’t get on the organizing committees or felt their carnival didn’t get enough attention can be physically felt by all magical beings for over twenty miles!

The Queen and Eileen (pre-defection) enjoy going to the carnivals and enter into the spirit of the things readily.  The Council don’t approve, it’s a bit common, an attitude that gains them short shrift from both royals.  The women travel around the Kingdom a lot, believing it vital to keep in contact with the people and show they are approachable.  Royal visits generally go down well and FNN lap them up. Roherum sees it as a gold mine for his career - all that gushing to be done!  All those adjectives to bring out for yet another airing! All the repeats of the pageantry!  T

The Queen tends to send Eileen on engagements and organizes her own.  While Wes is her aide, she tells him what the appointments are.  She doesn’t have the equivalent of a private secretary but she is considering changing that if only because promoting Wes again would wind the Council up, something she likes to do from time to time to keep them on their toes.  

Eileen likes cafes.  Not only is the food good (she has the enviable knowledge that nobody will dare to serve her anything remotely off, she would make them pay), but the café itself is a useful source of gossip.  She has found, prior to her defection, people are willing to tell her what’s worrying them over a cup of coffee or tea.  Quite often it leads to her being sent out to tackle a new monster that’s reared its ugly head but Eileen can take comfort from the fact by getting in there early to deal with the pest, she’s (a) doing her job and (b) saving many lives.  Eileen loves a good chocolate cake, as does Hanacrill.  The Queen prefers delicate pastries.  Eileen never has trouble getting a decent seat with a good view either...

The Lord Chamberlain and Head Housekeeper do not approve of cafes.  Both have urged the Queen not to patronize these on the grounds it looks common.  Not that this cuts much ice with the monarch, who is aware of the need to keep in touch with the lower ranks.  The only reason she hasn’t been to a café already is due to pressure of appointments and engagements but she hopes to rectify this shortly.  Those villages that have cafes hope she’ll reward them with a Royal Warrant and all are anxious to be the first to receive this.  To avoid some snobbery, the Queen has given huge hints she likes nice simple food and traditional cakes.  She does not want the cafes rivalling each other in producing wildly extravagant items nobody really wants to eat.

Whilst the Kingdom has had protests, riots and civil wars, particularly in Gwendolyn’s reign, political demonstrations as we know them are a rare thing here.  Mostly the Queen and Council govern with no protests at all.  It does take desperate or selfish actions by the monarch especially to get folk out on to the streets.  The Council is appointed by the Queen but she sounds out each species for recommendations first.  Usually there are one or two candidates deemed worthy enough by their own kind to serve on the Council and those then get interviewed several times by village elders and so on before only one name is put forward to the monarch.  Village elders can and are influenced by the feelings, usually voiced loudly, by their own people.  FNN would dearly love to influence things here as they’ve seen the media do on earth but absolutely nobody in the Kingdom will tolerate that.  FNN is there to report facts, not opinions, the only exception being Roherum’s This Week’s Royal Gossip Show as it is felt okay to tittle tattle and giggle over the royals and their indiscretions.  Understandably the royals are not fans of this show.

The Council represents all 22 species in the Kingdom and all have picked their best, most well connected “person”.  (The jury’s out on whether the orcs count as people).  This has always been the case and they see no reason to change but Roxannadrell would like at least one or two more lowly folk serving on the Council.  She knows she has no chance of getting that kind of concession from the elves.  Though this doesn’t stop the monarch voicing her disappointment every so often.  Not that the likes of L’Evallier take any notice of this.  They feel it is for each species to decide who to send to the Palace and don’t like the Queen trying to interfere here.  Eileen has sympathy with the Queen’s aim, one of their few areas of agreement, but the Council doesn’t want the godmother interfering either as they’ve made clear.  Each Council member keeps a detailed diary of what they do at each Council meeting and circulate it to their own kind.  Naturally there are often 22 different versions of the same Council discussions!

When Eileen was still resident at the Palace, her own suite was more simply decorated, reflecting her own wariness of fuss.  She liked good quality furniture, simply decorated walls (though even she liked gold rimmed mirrors) and plain white ceilings.  The result was pleasing so if Eileen was hoping to rebel against the gorgeous excess so common in Palaces around the universes and to prove a point to her cousin, she failed.  Eileen won an award for The Most Tasteful Suite in a Historic Building Award for three years running.  She herself thought the award judges were taking the proverbial out of her (though she wasn’t going to argue.  Who’s going to moan they’ve got good taste?).  Both Eileen and the Queen collected pieces of art, the former sticks to landscapes while the monarch also gathers sculptures (and occasionally turns someone into one!) and even some photography items, one thing from Earth she really likes.

The Queen’s working uniform is a swish silk gown and tiara.  Eileen prefers separates, especially when flying (it gets cold up there), and you can always tell something is seriously up if this fairy godmother ever dresses up.  The Queen despairs of Eileen’s attitude here.  The monarch likes fairy godmothers to look the part rather than looking as if they’ve just come back from a dodgy jumble sale.  However of all the issues to argue over with Eileen, this is the least important and the Kingdom has got used to seeing Eileen in trousers and fleecy tops. 

Eileen has written several books of good magical practice.  She’s also written books criticizing previous fairy royal conduct.  Unsurprisingly, those have never made it into the public’s hands.  Eileen is not a natural author.  She has to force herself to do it “for the greater good” and she gets the words down as quickly as she can.  She enjoys the editing process more as she can “control” and cut her words as appropriate.  Her textbooks are standard in the fairy schools.  Her version of history and the official version often differ.  Unsurprisingly it’s not hers that ends up on the curriculum!

Eileen spent her time in the realm fighting foul fiends and dragons.  Jennifer has no wish to emulate her mother though has had to kill a dragon and an ogre already.  The Kingdom thinks nothing of this.  It has, in its view, had to kill since not long after its inception.  Magic tends to attract those greedy for power.  Eileen’s constant watchfulness and criticism of her own side has been to make sure that can’t be said for them - at least with any justification.  Eileen and Jennifer share a wish that in the Kingdom and on Earth one day history doesn’t have to be violent.  This is unlikely to be fulfilled in either realm.

Eileen’s past is a troubled one.  She found out about her mother’s murder (Marina - killed for daring to speak her mind) only in early adulthood.  Nobody had wanted to speak about it partly to avoid upsetting Eileen, who showed she knew her own mind from a very early age, but also because it was suspected (though never properly proven) Marina’s murder was akin to a politicial assassination.  Eileen swore she’d uphold her mother’s reputation for truthfulness and belief that justice was worth fighting for.  Marina, certainly up to her daughter’s defection, would be proud of Eileen.

Marina and Eileen come from a very long line of noble royal fighters.  Part of the reason the royals bagged the throne was they led the defence of the realm when it was being attacked by outside forces and it was felt giving them the crown was an appropriate way of thanking them.  Eileen certainly believes it’s become a bit of a curse and has no wish to inherit it herself.  Jennifer was horrified to learn she wasn’t just half fairy but half royal fairy.  She got out of dressing up in a posh frock and a crown when she was a kid.

Eileen still hasn’t told Jennifer anything about her grandmother’s past as Eileen fears Jennifer will think she’s trying to use this to exploit the girl.  Eileen is vulnerable where Jennifer is concerned.  Anyone else and she’d happily exploit them but not her daughter.  Eileen would at some point like to campaign for a proper statue to be put up to commemorate her mother but knows she is unlikely to get this out of the Queen unless she agrees to returning to the Kingdom at once.  FNN did once do a brief biography of Marina as part of their royal series but her sudden, unexpected death for whom nobody was ever brought officially to account, meant they could only give out sketchy information. 

Jenny has no interest in life in the Kingdom which pleases her mother and infuriates the Queen.  Having said that, Jenny is coming to realise she is going to have to know something.  Her survival might depend on her knowing enough.  Eileen has thoughtfully lent Jenny her books, some of which the godmother helped write articles for, not that this cheers Jenny up.  She has found certain books wonderful to read though - light in style and with brilliant illustrations - but Jenny subconsciously resents the fairy world for coming up with something lovely like this.  She just wants to hate the whole magical world and have done - it’s easier from her viewpoint.  And on Earth Jenny now takes a very jaundiced view on the old fairy tales, stories she once dismissed as harmless, entertaining enough, though she now queries the harmless bit.

Jenny wants nothing to do with Kingdom life though there are many aspects of it she’d like.  She’d love the Palace grounds, she’d get on well with most villagers and the landscapes in many regions are truly amazing.  The Kingdom is slowly coming round to the idea of Jenny being part magical.  Alas she has not come around to the idea of the Kingdom taking an interest in her.  FNN and Roherum especially has a good sense for which way the wind is blowing and has effectively taken the Queen’s hint that Jenny is to be “sold” as a potential asset to the realm.  Most in the Kingdom can see right through this but they can see Jenny’s usefulness, if only in reining in Eileen a bit, something to salute the girl for as nobody else has been able to do this.

Eileen doesn’t miss much in the way of Kingdom life now she’s on Earth though she misses Hanastrew and Melanbury and certain friends in the Palace.  However, Eileen does miss the Library as the Kingdom has one of the most extensive collection of books anywhere.  The Library has books not just from the realm but from all worlds the Kingdom is connected to or has reason to be wary of (in the case of Earth both apply) so there was no shortage of decent reading material here.  Eileen can’t help but make comparisons every time she visits the library at Kirkham.  One thing the fairy royals got right, and even Eileen acknowledges this, is that everybody can access the Library and the Household staff are positively encouraged to do so.  The general public has to apply in writing to be allowed admission but they are made very welcome.  The only thing they have to promise is not to start a fire by any means whatsover.

Head Cook - Palace
The Queen’s Head Cook guards her recipes and papers as jealously as her boss and sovereign guards the fairy royal powers!  The Head Cook sets the daily menu and those working under her have to cook in the pre-determined way - that is what she thinks is right.  In fairness, the meals prepared are delicious and the Head Cook generally is right but don’t look for invention and originality here.  It has only been the Queen’s insistence that cuisine from other worlds makes a regular appearance that anything new comes on to the menu at all.  Some of these new dishes go down welll (lasagne, pizza, casseroles), others do not (the idea of toad in the hole has totally been misunderstood here!  They look for the toads and believe humans are mis-selling the dish because there aren’t any toads in it).  The one thing the Head Cook is proud of is the way the kitchen works as a well oiled team, nobody goes hungry and the kitchens are kept meticulously clean.

Roherum - Journalist and Writer
Roherum is also a writer, producing material for the papers.  He also writes all his interviews up, gets them published in book form and archives them at the FNN studios.  He also keeps his own copies.  He sees doing this as keeping accurate historical records to accompany the films he made.  Naturally Roherum writes things up from his viewpoint and as a result his works can be unintentionally funny.  Roherum insists his books for FNN will not be published in his lifetime mainly because he wants to make sure he does not upset the Queen.  The weatherman claims the goblin wants to make sure nobody could query his version of events. Naturally both points are true.  Roherum is also determined not to have his books reviewed while he’s still alive to take the brickbats he expects to be hurled at him.  He thinks it’s because he defends the common magical being.  He won’t acknowledge there are times he can be a right idiot and far too full of himself.

Writing means having something to take your mind off the troubles of life.  And the emotions triggered by the troubles of life may well find their way into your fiction.  Certainly you should be able to write such things with conviction!

Writing is part of you, your very soul, defines you.  Writing is special.  It can help make you feel special especially when you’re happy with the work you produce.

The troubles of life overwhelming you and your work sometimes.  Feeling you're not conveying in words the emotions you want to convey (we all know those times when words are not enough but in a writer's case, this is doubly frustrating as words are all we have).

Not feeling special because you're unhappy with the work you produce!  (I cheer myself up here by reminding myself there is little a decent edit won't improve).

Writing means having something to take your mind off the troubles of life.  And the emotions triggered by the troubles of life may well find their way into your fiction.  Certainly you should be able to write such things with conviction!

Writing is part of you, your very soul, defines you.  Writing is special.  It can help make you feel special especially when you’re happy with the work you produce.

Creating something you want to read and getting to play God.

Your characters come to life, you can see and hear them in your head, and you just know your story is “alive”, the way good stories should be.

When you’re editing your work being able to feel your prose “tightening up”, becoming sharper and so your work improves.

Writing can be marvellous therapy in terms of getting away from whatever horrors life drags you through.  Also in terms of using those same horrors to create stories.  You may as well get something from it!

Meeting other writers!

Never having as much time as you’d like to get on with said writing.

When it’s a struggle to get the words out.

When your work keeps getting rejected.

Seeing someone whose work you loathe doing well on the bestseller lists!  Every author, published or otherwise, feels like this from time to time so you may as well be honest and acknowledge it!

Not getting replies from agents/publishers, despite religiously putting in SAEs with the correct postage on.

Just knowing the world really doesn’t care about your work and that the only one who does is you!

When the sadnesses of life seem overwhelming, writing makes a fantastic therapy as it literally takes you out of the situation for a while as you focus on your imaginary worlds and characters.

You can work out some of your frustrations by inventing characters who get their comeuppance, these people representing those who have given you grief.  The best thing is only you will know (it’s the safest thing too, you don’t want to risk being sued). 

There is nothing to beat the feeling you have when a story “comes together” unless it is that feeling when you discover it’s going to be published (hopefully).

When the sadnesses of life get in the way of your writing either by making you slow down, even stop, or by intruding their thoughts into your creative writing thoughts and it distorting your story.

When you’d like to use some of the way you felt when really sad to flesh up your characters more but find the words won’t come.  Is this your  sub-conscious trying to block you?

Having others enjoy your work and receiving feedback.

Enjoying the writing!  When the work is going well, you really do get a buzz out of it!

Enjoying other writers’ work more.  You do appreciate the effort more when you have a go at story telling yourself!

When you want to write but the sadnesses of life get in the way.  (I try to write anything during these times.  Something good may come from it later).

When your head is buzzing with ideas, which sounds an odd thing to list as a frustration, but it can mean being stymied by the old question as to which you follow up first!

When your head isn’t buzzing with ideas as that is more obviously a worry!

Inventing characters that are your own.  Producing work yourself that you enjoy.

Knowing that being creativity in any way is good for your health, especially mental health.

Completing a short story, novel, or a script is in itself an achievement and gives you something to work with, something to improve.  You need that starting point.

Those extra few minutes that crop up sometimes and you use them to scribble down ideas to work on later.  Not only is the extra time useful, so are those extra ideas!

Reading published work you honestly believe isn’t good or is out there because of a celebrity connection.

People misunderstanding what you’re trying to do.  Difficult to explain without making yourself sound like, I quote from a chat I had with Adrian, “a pretentious arse”!

Feeling as if you’ll never get to the end of writing a short story, novel and so on.

Not getting any extra minutes to scribble down notes!  Or the time you have flies by and you haven’t achieved all you would have liked to have done.

Receiving your first acceptance!  The boost to your morale is enormous.

Seeing your work on the web or in print for the first time.

Reading something you’ve written and genuinely enjoying it.

Having something to put on your writing CV when sending work out!  This is especially true if you’ve spent ages trying to get anything accepted.

Being able to say you are a published author!

If work appears in book form, when you receive your copy of it.  It is a special moment holding that copy for the first time.

Waiting ages to receive your copy of your first published work and then there’s a postal strike! 

People not appreciating it is difficult to get published so when you say your work is out they don’t realize what an achievement it is.

When you can’t access the website where your doubtless splendid work is there for all the world to see. Okay this is temporary and in my case has been down to my modem playing up but it’s still frustrating!