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STORIES BITING BACK

31/10/2016

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I love the way stories, of all lengths, take you into different worlds, enabling you to explore them and the characters they have.  I also love the fact you can explore as many different worlds as you like - no passport required, there are no limits and you can stay for as long or a short a time as you want in those worlds.

I have a fondness for both writing and reading flash fiction and find the best of these pack a punch at the payoff.  They have to do so because there is no room within the demands of the form to expand so the story has to do its job - get you in there, say what it has to say and then stop.

I share a link with Chapeltown Books, who are currently producing my first flash fiction collection, From Light to Dark and Back Again.  I'll post further news when the book is out of course, but the link shares news of all three authors who are having collections produced.  The other two authors are Neil Campbell and Gill James.  There are samples of work from Neil and myself in this link.  My flash piece, A Kind of Hell, I think illustrates the point of a whole world in a few words leaving  a punch at the end.  Hope you enjoy!
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WHAT FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS MOST CARE ABOUT

30/10/2016

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What fairytale characters most care about can be summarized below:-

  1. That they go home in the same species they started the day off with.
  2. That they avoid upsetting the local bigwig whether this be a local witch or a wizard.  They have to live alongside these people.
  3. That any curse inflicted on them is immediately reduced by the local fairy godmother so nothing can be fatal.  The worst effect to be having to take a very long nap.
  4. That they avoid spinning wheels, red shiny apples and anything else that might lead to trouble.
  5. That the wicked get their comeuppance.
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WHEN A CHARACTER KNOWS THEY'RE IN TROUBLE...

30/10/2016

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Warning signs for a character to be able to tell they are in trouble can include the following:-

  1. They get at least one prediction (and usually more) that they are going to die.
  2. They spot other characters ordering mourning clothes.
  3. Their life insurance salesman stops visiting.
  4. The ones closest to them (spouse/partner, children, etc) are suddenly shown greater kindness than normal by neighbours and friends.  This is a sure sign something is up or is about to be.
  5. They discover they are the chosen one to go a quest, hence items 1 to 4 above.
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INTERVIEWS

28/10/2016

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Part 2 of my interview with Barbara Large is now up on Chandler's Ford Today.  Barbara shares a wealth of advice for all writers and it was great to meet up with her again.  Hope you enjoy the post.

But this post also led me to think about fictional interviews.  Certain things would be the same regardless of what world you're in/reading about.  Those with helpful advice tend to share generously and their interviews are a wonderful read.  Those who are full of themselves... well it ends up being a puff piece and I can't be the only one who is totally turned off by that kind of thing.

In my magical realm, Roherum from the Fairy News Network would conduct the interviews (he'd ensure nobody else got a look in and is not afraid to cheat, magically or otherwise, to achieve that).  He is not one of life's confrontational questioners, believing to get the best out of an interviewee, you have to "soften" them up a bit and then they'll open up.  He's not entirely wrong here.  This approach can work on many an interviewee. 

But his colleagues at FNN do regard him as having a yellow streak for not wanting to put the challenging questions, especially to those members of the Council who occasionally deign to be interviewed.  (What his colleagues don't say is most of them wouldn't put the challenging questions either.  All of the Council are magically powerful and nobody wants to cross swords unnecessarily with them.  Or should that be cross wands?!).

Fictional interviews of course must be relevant to the story and should show more about the interview and interviewee that would not come across in the tale in any other way. They can also be used as a way to convey information, via dialogue, that seems natural.  But the interview must serve a purpose in moving the story onwards and upwards towards its conclusion. 
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FAIRYTALE NEWS HEADLINES

27/10/2016

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What would make the news headlines in a fairytale/magical world?  Some suggestions and reactions include:-

  1. Girl seen rushing out of Palace.  What has she stolen?  This would be from the more right wing based kind of paper who would assume anyone rushing out of anywhere is clearly up to no good (or just has been!).
  2. Health and Safety Fear over Spinning Wheels.  Government enforces Ban.  This story would come in for heavy criticism from periodicals like To the Needlepoint Magazine . (There would be accusations of scaremongering.  Just because on bad tempered magical being cursed a royal christening, does it mean all spinning wheel users should be treated as criminals?).
  3. Big Bad Wolf spotted near you!  For those more sensationalist papers who like to whip up a witch hunt (or in this case big bad wolf hunt).
  4. Three Little Pigs Share New Cauldron Recipe.  Given this recipe is freshly boiled wolf, Vegetarian Weekly are going to give this story a miss but it may go down well with those newspapers who like their rough justice tales.
  5. Cow Seen Jumping Over Moon.  Once a paper had established whoever reported this had not been on drugs or drink and even had photos of the event, they would run it.  Everyone likes a novelty animal story.
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HAPPY EVER AFTER?

26/10/2016

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As a child reading the classic fairytales, I loved the happy ever after ending.  Even at that age, there is an awareness it really isn't like that in the real world.  So the happy ever ending in many stories (but by no means all) is kind of like a literary comfort blanket.

As an adult, I understand the "happy for now" ending which is more prevalent these days, but part of me feels a bit short changed by the "now".  That could be for five minutes for five decades!  I think I prefer a story to end well so you can see the characters can be happy for the rest of their lives, while knowing they will have to work at their relationships to make that happen.

The happy ever after is a symbol, I think, of the wish for good things in life to never go away and for positive things to always be with you.  This is why I think happy for now is a kind of compromise but also why it doesn't really satisfy.  I want the potential for happy ever after to be there.  For me the "now" implies that Character A will dump Character B the moment something/someone better comes along.  That may well reflect reality but I can't say I like it much.


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OFFENDING A FAIRYTALE WITCH

25/10/2016

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You would have to be very brave or insane (or even more likely, both) to want to offend a fairytale witch but, on the assumption you are determined to press ahead anyway, here are some tips as to what can be done.  Of course if you do go ahead all consequences are your responsibility and you should be aware, if there is ever a guarantee of anything, there would be consequences!

  1. If you really want to cause upset, insult the fairytale witch's flying ability.  They generally pride themselves on their prowess with a broomstick so this will not go down at all well.
  2. Equally upset the fairytale witch's familiar, usually a black cat, sometimes a toad. The witch will see this,  quite rightly, as striking very close to home.
  3. Querying the fairytale witch's construction methods.  Houses made out of gingerbread are going to go horribly wrong come a decent downpour.  Just how often can she interfere with the weather to prevent this happening?  Again she won't like her prowess (this time with her spells) being questioned.
  4. Saying out loud or publicising in any way just how superior you think fairy godmothers are.  There has long been a contest for the accolade of top female magical species and the witches do know they're not winning.  Doesn't mean they like this though and they will be offended by any upstart rubbing their metaphorical (hooked) noses in it.
  5. By being that fairy godmother who steps out from behind the screen and turning the witch's death spell into a 100 years asleep one.  Nobody likes having their work scrutinized and overturned.
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career prospects for a fairytale witch

24/10/2016

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If you're one of those fairytale witches happy to always be the bad guy and willing to accept the fact you are likely to end up dead before your time, often in an unpleasant manner, then there are plenty of career options available for you in the world of fairytales.

If, however, you are not, then either disguise what you are, become a fairy godmother pronto (everyone loves them) or move to another world where they have not heard of fairytales so there are no expectations.

Working on the assumption you are willing to be the bad guy, your options are:-

  1. You get to double up as a spinning wheel saleswoman, always ready to show the naive and stupidly inquisitive just how sharp the thing is!  You also get to vanish quickly.  This could be a good choice if you really fancy not just committing the crime but getting away with it too.
  2. You could become queen but a word to the wise.  Don't try and bump off the beautiful stepdaughter.  It never works out.  If you fancy remaining queen, get the girl married off to some suitable chinless wonder with the right bloodline and send her to a kingdom far, far away.  She'll be out of your sight but on a more positive note she might make you a granny in due course. And you can tell her father it is in the girl's best interests (it would be too!  She's not at risk of being poisoned by you though it might pay not to tell your better half that). It might also pay to get rid of any irritating talking mirrors you own.  That way they can't tell you anything you don't want to hear.  You'll be happier for it.
  3. If you adopt a girl that you would rather like to keep for companionship, then may I suggest you get the hairdresser in regularly for her.  Don't let the girl grow her hair long.  She won't know when to stop.  This way she can't let down her hair for any passing chinless wonder to climb up.
  4. If you are invited to put on a pair of fetching red shoes, turn this down.  They are enchanted and you will dance to your death in them.  It also means your intended victim has cottoned on to your little scheme to get rid of her and if you do want to avoid being put to death, which will be your inevitable fate, then the moment you are invited to put the shoes on, pretend to consider the matter, say you want the bathroom or something and get out fast.  Don't look back.  Just go.

Having a successful career as a fairytale witch means keeping your wits about you at all times.  Be prepared to cancel plans.  Be flexible.  You're more likely to survive then.
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EXPECTATIONS OF A FAIRY GODMOTHER

23/10/2016

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  1. That she will be given a downtrodden, repressed, ill treated client to assist.  Pumpkins and glass slippers may come into the assistance she is required to give.
  2. That she will be on standby at all times to give magical assistance to those who need it, though her own spells will almost always expire at midnight on any given day.
  3. She should be an older lady, looking a little grey perhaps, and should look like someone's favourite aunt/grandmother.  Age and experience count for a great deal here.
  4. She does not do the work of the Tooth Fairy.  Some of those girls can be a bit rough with the pliers especially if the human client is a spoilt brat. Fairy godmothers are far more dignified and above that kind of thing.
  5. She is always ready to appear at the last minute to modify a wicked fairy/witch's spell, even if she can't cancel it out altogether.
  6. She will turn up at a point in the client's life when things really couldn't get much worse.  This is conventional and is not the fairy godmother's fault so there is no point in the client whining about this.
  7. She will be treated with respect at all times.  After all you should see what she can do to pumpkins, rats etc.  Presumably she has got something more powerful for dealing with those who do offend her.
  8. If there is a royal wedding as a result of her work, she will get one of the best seats in the house to watch it.
  9. If she ever needs a favour, spell ingredients or what have you and her now successful and happy client is able to assist, said happy client will do so.  This is partly to be nice and partly as an insurance policy.  It really does not pay to upset a fairy godmother.  They can reverse spells after all.
  10. She will be considered the most important magical being in the fairytale world.  She would point out that it can't be the witch because they almost always come to a horrible ending (usually of their own making).
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living up to expectations

22/10/2016

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We all have expectations which we want to live up to or which our families might expect us to reach.  And we should have expectations for our characters too.  Expect that they will be true to themselves.  Expect them to react in accordance with how they've been portrayed. 

How does your fictional world respond to this?  There are always those who will resent any kind of success in others.  What can your hero/heroine do to overcome that? How does your hero/heroine react to others doing well? Hopefully they would react with the generosity of spirit we'd all like to see in others!

Expectations can be shaped by cultural norms, history, experience and so on so what is the driving factor behind your fictional world's culture?  Does anyone ever challenge it?  Are the expectations justified?  Romeo and Juliet  is a classic tale about expectation being challenged given the state of the relationship between the Montagues and Capulets at the start of the play.





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DEDICATION

21/10/2016

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All writers need dedication, of course, to meet deadlines, to not give up despite the countless number of rejections coming in and to want to develop and improve their skills.  My interview with Barbara Large, MBE on Chandler's Ford Today shows the writing life of someone who has done an incredible amount to support writers from all backgrounds and genres for many years.  There is very little Barbara does not know about the importance of dedication and discipline in a writer's life! Part 1 is up on site now, part 2 of the interview will follow next Friday, but Barbara, as ever, shares generously some wonderful writing advice.

As for dedication in fiction, all characters of note have dedication, if only to their own cause (and that can be for villainy, not just heroism).  Name a character you really love and then think about why you adore them so much - dedication is likely to come into the reasons you pick them.  For example, I adore Elizabeth Bennett from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.  Why?  I love her wit, intelligence, and her refusal to compromise to make a suitable marriage with the odious Mr Collins when it would have been so much easier for her to toe the expected line.  I see this as her dedication to want the best for herself and to want to marry honourably for the right reasons or not at all.

So how dedicated are your characters?  Are they dedicated to the wrong thing/person?  How does dedication shape them?  And if they are dedicated to the wrong things (and probably heading for a fall because of it), how do they wake up to this reality?  Do they then choose a much worthier subject to be dedicated to?




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YOU KNOW IT'S A BAD WEEK WHEN...

20/10/2016

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  1. The Three Little Pigs think you're unlucky with building materials.
  2. The Three Bears offer you their porridge and make it clear they think you need it more than they do.
  3. Snow White makes it clear she thinks you're gullible (and this from a girl who takes poisoned apples from complete strangers).
  4. Rapunzel gets her hair out of the way so you can't use it to climb to the tower she's imprisoned in.  The plus point is if she claims she's washing her hair, she probably is.
  5. All your spells go wrong and you soon spot nobody else's is doing that.
  6. Tom Thumb/Thumbelina tell you to walk tall...
  7. Even the witches stay out of your way.  They think bad luck is contagious and avoid being near you.  From your viewpoint there is no downwide to this.
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GETTING OFF TO A GOOD START

19/10/2016

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I've used Hemingway's classic exercise as a great starting point for longer stories.  He told a story in six words (For Sale:  one pair baby shoes).  I find when I try this I usually end up writing 5 or 7 word length ones!  Still it can make a great brainstorming exercise. It is my overall favourite writing exercise.

I find getting off to a a good start on a story is invaluable.  Those first few words show me the scene, sometimes a little bit of the main character, but it is enough for me to get going with the longer piece.  I also find I have got to have a title to work to but am more than happy to change this later should I need to do so.  I see the title as a kind of "peg" to hang my story on and if I need to change "pegs" then so be it.

Do your characters find getting off to a good start vital for them to have a chance at achieving overall success in whatever it is they are doing? Frodo Baggins certainly did in The Lord of The Rings!  That headstart as he began his quest to get rid of the Ring of Power was crucial.  So how do your characters define what a good start is for them and how do they achieve it?
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MAGICAL GOVERNMENT

18/10/2016

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The problem with living in a magical world is that it doesn't prevent politics from creeping into it!  Why?  When you have everyone with some sort of magical power, there has to be an accommodation of sorts to avoid the scenario of any argument always being won by the most powerful being.

Nobody wants to see everybody blast each other to Kingdom come with a wand or whatever, so there has to be an agreement over what powers can be used where.  Likewise some powers are banned when it would give unfair advantages to one particular magical group.  Else they will dominate, rebellion will inevitably occur if those unfair advantages are used against others, and magical war benefits nobody.  Put enough magic through land and it will become barren.  It would be easy for a magical war to break out and for the end result to be there is nothing left to live in or rule over!

So how does your magical government work out what powers to allow, which to ban and how do they ensure those with the banned powers don't actually use them?  There has to be someone more powerful than the rest to ensure fair play (which is where my Fairy Queen, Roxannadrell, comes in as far as my stories are concerned).  That person has to be seen to act justly otherwise they will not win the trust of their people (without which they would find it hard to govern).  So how does the system work on your fictional world?  Who is in overall control and who are they answerable to?  The Queen is answerable to her Council, whether she likes it or not.


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A GOOD DAY IN THE MAGICAL WORLD

17/10/2016

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A good day in the magical world can be defined as:-

  1. Surviving it!
  2. You remained as the species and gender you began the day with.  This is not to be under-appreciated.
  3. You have not faced an irate fairy godmother, witch or wizard.
  4. You have not flooded out the home of your boss or set loose an army of magically enchanted broomsticks you have no idea how to return to normal.
  5. You, if you are of the witch persuasion, are invited to royal christenings and the like so there is no need for the authorities to go totally over the top when it comes to spinning wheels.
  6. You go for a walk with your loved ones and come back to find your porridge, chairs and beds are exactly as you left them.
  7. Whatever gets blown up by a spell was meant  to detonate. 
  8. For those lesser species, seeing a fairy godmother like my Eileen go out on her rounds can be very reassuring.  They know she's not coming to them so they can get on and have a nice quiet day.  The excitement of seeing who she'll turn into a frog this time can be relished by someone else.
  9. You watch Cinderella's spells wear off and see that had been the coach is now a pumpkin (and looking rather the worse for wear too).  You are glad you were not involved in any way (nor dragged into it as unsuspecting passers-by often can be).
  10. The rest of the magical world around you also seems to be in one piece.  It has been a successful day all round then!



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WORDS TO THE WISE

16/10/2016

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There are a number of highly gullible characters in fairytales.  Snow White is amongst the worst I think because the seven dwarves did repeatedly warn her about the evil queen and what happens?  Snow White still goes and eats a shiny red apple from someone she has only just met (and knowing the evil queen is capable of anything if it helps her get what she wants).  So my words to the would-be wise in fairytale fiction would be:-

  1. Always know where your food and drink comes from and what is likely to be in it.  This is also highly applicable to Alice.  After all if you are visiting Wonderland, you should be wondering what is in their food and why do they need to leave out notes saying "Eat me" and "Drink me".  What else would  you do with food and drink?!
  2. Never put yourself in debt to a powerful magical being.  The price they will want from you will be very heavy.  The Little Mermaid would have done well to heed this tip.
  3. Talking animals and yellow brick roads should be treated with caution as both are likely to lead to nothing but trouble.
  4. Never go into an unattended house in the woods, whether it is made out of gingerbread or inhabited by bears.  Again trouble will only result if you do.
  5. If you come across a dog that laughs and a cow that jumps over the moon, check what medication you are on, where you got that last batch of mushrooms you ate, or accept you have wandered into Nursery Rhyme World.  Nothing is normal here so get out again fast.
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WISHING YOUR LIFE AWAY

15/10/2016

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The big drawback to living in a magical world is your characters can end up wishing their lives away if they end up confronting the more magically powerful.  The latter have a variety of methods/spells for letting people know they have been offended!  What other ways could a character wish their life away?

  1. By being apprentice to a wizard and taking a short cut with the chores, a short cut they have no idea how to stop!
  2. By being apprentice to a witch and not finding the right ingredients for the latest "recipe" the boss has going on the cauldron.  Witches are not normally tolerant of any kind of failure.
  3. By getting in the way of a fairy godmother on her rounds.  Okay you will probably live.  You just won't be in the species/shape you started out with that day.
  4. By criticising the ruling regime.  The less tolerant it is, the more likely it is they won't take criticism at all. 
  5. By trying to use spells from books the character has not already  had magical training with.  Trouble is the very least they can expect from this!
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FAIRYTALE AND OTHER FICTIONAL LIBRARIES

14/10/2016

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Tonight's Chandler's Ford Today post, The Story Shuffle Project, looks at a project aimed at local school children which encourages creative writing, a look into local historical legend and to use the libraries.  Any one of these things to my mind is a laudable aim but to combine all three, for me, is just fantastic.  I hope many of the children taking part in this project go on to develop a love and talent for creative writing, historical appreciation and make good use of their libraries.  I wouldn't say I was a particularly political person but there is something wrong when libraries get closed down as sadly has happened throughout the UK.

Anyway I thought I would look at what could be in a fairytale or other fictional library.  Part of the role of any fiction author is to produce well rounded characters.  They must seem real to readers so they willingly suspend disbelief for the duration of that story/novel (and sometimes at least poems too.  I've read some great character based work).  So to bring about that well rounded character, any author is going to  have to know what makes that character tick to be able to write about/for them convincingly.

All writers love books and reading (indeed you can't write without reading well.  How else will you know what you want to write?  Inspiration has to come from somewhere.  And all writers build on what has gone before so you have to know what has gone before, at least in the genre in which you want to write).  So characters then will have their own tastes, one of which will be in literature.

What books do your characters read?  Is literacy high in the fictional world you've created?  What stories and legends are the foundation of your setting that every one of your characters would know about (and probably be influenced by)? 

A fairytale library, for me, would contain the classic tales but also fables, legends and myths from not just the world in which it is set but other worlds that universe knows about.  Libraries collect after all.  So who would run your fictional libraries?  Does everyone have access to them?  Can everyone read?
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WHEN STORIES CRASH...

13/10/2016

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Stories crash in the sense that characters are not fully developed so both they and the plot run out of steam and the story is often left unfinished.  I'm glad to say that's only happened to me once and it was because I hadn't thought the characters out enough.  I hope at some point to revisit the story concerned and work it out properly in terms of what its characters are meant to be doing  and so on.  Then I should get to complete the thing!

Stories crash because they can be overloaded with too many characters at times.  This is especially true for a shorter than usual piece.  For flash fiction it is generally recommended to have at most two characters (and often the flash pieces I read or write only have the one with other characters being referred to but never appearing).  Because of the strict word count rules to flash, you can't go on at length and it limits how much you can say.  It therefore limits how many characters you bring in.

Stories crash because the writer does it deliberately!  (I'm sure that's the real story behind Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.  I don't mind zombies and I love P&P but I do feel strongly those two worlds should never have combined!).  There can be a lot of fun to be had here though.  For example, what would happen if the big bad wolf from Little Red Riding Hood fame met  Puss in Boots?  Fur would fly - and not necessarily the cat's!  (This is especially true if you have set in your head the idea of Puss in Boots as shown in the Shrek films!).  The comic potential here is huge...  have fun!
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ASKING THE AWKWARD QUESTIONS

12/10/2016

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My rebellious fairy godmother, Eileen, is an expert at asking the awkward questions and landing herself right in it again as a result.  So what are the awkward questions in a magical world?  My nominees are:-

  1. Can't you use your magical powers to bring an end to all wars throughout all known universes?   That would be a great use of magic.
  2. Can't you use your magical powers to end hunger, diseases and so on?  Again use magical skills practically.
  3. If magic is so wonderful, why is there a long history of wizard wars, witch battles and so on?
  4. Why doesn't everyone have the same amount of magical ability?  That at least would be fair.
  5. Those creatures that would not normally be magical and have the ability to think and speak (e.g.  the big bad wolf, Puss in Boots etc) - don't they realise there is something odd about themselves and that the likelihood of anything good coming out of it is remote?  Okay Puss in Boots is an exception but he is a cat and cats always land on their feet!  It's just in his story he does so metaphorically!!


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THE WIZARDING CONFERENCE

11/10/2016

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So following on from what would be on offer at conferences for fairies and witches, what could the wizards expect at an event put on for them?  (These days smoking is not allowed in public places in the UK.  Here every wizard would smoke and not think twice).

  1. Workshops.  Workshops for wizards could include How to spot a Lying, Cheating, Lazy Apprentice before they wreck the home, How to Improve your Firework Production spells, and Why Every Wizard Needs Someone to Rein Them in before Power goes to their heads.  The last one is particularly important.  Given wizards are so powerful, someone needs to be able to check them before they run amok.
  2. Panel Discussions.  Once the arguments about who should lead the discussions were over, panel topics could include Why Wizards Need to Work Together More, Are Wizards being overlooked in the Fairytales in favour of Witches?, and How to Produce a Really Good Smoke Ring without Magic.  (See Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings as the considered expert on the latter subject).
  3. Magical Exercises.  To include How to Cast a Spell Quicker than  your Opponent and How to ensure you are never surprised or outmanoeuvred by anyone ever again. Both exercises will take place out doors where there is lots of space and nothing is going to get blown up (or if it does, it really does not matter).
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THE fairytale WITCH'S CONFERENCE

10/10/2016

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Following on from yesterday's post about what would be on offer at a conference for fairy folk, I thought I would look at what a fairytale witch could expect from a conference put on for her kind.

  1. Workshops.  These would include How to tell your Eye of Newt and other Essential Ingredients are of the very best quality, How to Gauge the Magical Prowess of your Enemies without being cursed in the process, and How to Stop Annoying Children Eating Your Gingerbread House.  The latter of course really is for those witches who want to live in their properties in peace and have no intention of luring unsuspecting kids into an oven.  (Said witches have read the original fairytale, have taken on board the concept of what goes around comes around and have decided it would be better for their own health and longevity if they stick to the vegetarian option in life).
  2. Panel Discussions.  Assuming you could get three or four witches to agree to sit on such a panel without arguing or cursing each other, the discussions would centre on the unfair treatment and portrayal of witches throughout every fairytale it is possible to mention.  That would promote unity within the witch community as they are all united on the unfairness of it all. In my fictional Fairy Kingdom, the witches believe that fairytales are written by the winners and fairies always get the better press.  Other topics could include How to Stop Meddling Fairy Godmothers from Weakening a Perfectly Good Curse Spell for Stupid Royals who forget to invite Important Witches to Royal Christenings.  Then there's always the Best Dressed Witch Award, though nobody expects the colour of the outfit to be anything other than black.
  3. Magical Exercises.  Given no witch really likes to admit to being inferior to any other, this would be held for juniors who have yet to discover what real rivalry is.  Such exercises would take place outdoors for (a) safety and (b) the ability to fly one's broomstick really well is bound to make up the majority of these exercises.  Think of it as the magical equivalent of performing a handbrake turn!
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FAIRY CONFERENCES

9/10/2016

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Having just come back from a wonderful Association of Christian Writers' Day in London on 8th October, I know I've got writing days/conferences on the brain at the moment.  But, for fun, if there were such things as conferences in the magical, fictional world, what would they consist of and who would go to them?  Tonight I look at what might make up a conference for the fairy folk.

  1. Workshops.  These are nigh on compulsory at any writing conference so what workshops would the fairies have?  Suggestions:   How to Improve Your Spell Accuracy (nobody wants glass slippers again, they are uncomfortable on the feet for one thing and prone to breaking for another).  Also How to Ensure Your Client does not go beyond the Time Limit You Set.  Cinderella's fairy godmother could have done with both these workshops.  How to Ensure your Client does not get taken in by a "harmless" looking old woman who is really a witch in disguise.  That one, of course, would be tailor made for anyone seeking to help Snow White.
  2. Panel Discussions.  To be made up of the most experienced fairy godmothers in your magical realm.  To discuss who are the best suppliers of magical ingredients (pumpkins, rats etc).  To even negotiate bulk discount rates for members of the fairy conference.  To work out how to best protect fairy godmothers from being sued when things go wrong.  (Given no world is perfect, in fiction or otherwise, things going wrong are a "given").
  3. Magical Exercises.  To give a safe environment (or as safe as possible given magic is being used) for the less experienced fairies to develop their skills before testing them for real on clients.  This is good for the fairies concerned.  It is even better for the clients.  The fairies are more likely to get their mistakes out of the way at the conference!
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PUNISHMENTS

8/10/2016

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One problem with the magical world is that it can have no sense of proportion.  You offend a magically powerful being (or someone who at least is more powerful than you are) and what happens?  You get zapped!  At best you then find yourself you can croak and hop very well indeed.  At worst you won't be aware of anything ever again.  So typical punishments for those offending the powerful include:-

  1. Transformation into a frog/toad.  (In my Eileen's case she drops her transformed victims into the middle of a heron colony.  She has never had a problem with beings managing to get themselves restored and then coming after her.  Herons are always hungry.  And they love frogs!).
  2. Instant banishment.  If you are lucky this will actually happen and you'll suddenly find yourself in the middle of nowhere, miles from where you had been.  If unlucky, the governing authority will be told you were instantly banished.  Naturally your body won't ever be found.  This is a particular favourite thing to do by treacherous wizards and one reason why Eileen never trusted Brankaresh.
  3. Being sent to the wild zones.  Naturally nothing much lives here.  Nobody has been known to get out of these wild zones unless they are pardoned.  These zones are grey, cold and lifeless.  Nobody wants to go here ever.  In my fictional Fairy Kingdom, these areas are known to sap the life out of those sent to them.
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THE DANGERS OF REVIEWING MAGICAL BOOKS

7/10/2016

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The life of a reviewer of magical books can be interesting, fun and short.  So much depends on their skills with words both in terms of not upsetting the witch author (to name one example) and the ability not to unwittingly trigger a curse against themselves.  So how would a magical book reviewer go about their task?

  1. Carefully!  Avoid direct confrontation with the magical author.  They are likely to be more powerful with magic than the reviewer is and, even if not, most reviewers do not need a magical battle every time they comment on a book (even if they win said battles!).
  2. Spells are known to go off if even one word is uttered wrongly.  The wise reviewer gets as much detail about the book before it is even sent to them.  They ask in advance  about spells the author is willing to share but which could prove dangerous in the wrong hands.  They specifically ask how to avoid triggering the spells.  Most charms are set by not only reciting them (usually out loud) but with a combination of specific actions and gestures too.  If asked to test the spell out (as some reviewers are), all risks are subject to a health and safety assessment and then it is down to the reviewer to decide whether to go ahead or not.  Do so and get it right, the rewards for a reviewer can be huge (money, spells of their choice whenever they want to activate them and so on).  Get it wrong and death is usually the result.  However it can be difficult to refuse the offer.  The fairy government often wants its work reviewed (to send a clear message to the witches they cannot dominate the magical world).
  3. Be neutral.  Always find something to praise.  Most magical reviewers do this as a matter of course.  Surprise, surprise, they get to live.
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    Author

    I'm Allison Symes and I write novels, short stories as well as some scripts and poems.  I love setting my work in my magical world, the Fairy Kingdom, and my favourite character is Eileen, who believes hypocrisy is something that happens to other people without caring that statement is hypocritical in itself!  Eileen is huge fun to write for and about. 

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