Fairytales with Bite
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  • The Rules of Magic
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THE RULES OF MAGIC - 10


Fruit sellers, especially when they’re old women, will be treated with the utmost suspicion at all times.  As will apprentices wanting to learn magic in a hurry.  Girls wearing glass shoes really ought to wear something that’s kinder on the feet (trip up in those glittering shoes and you’ll cut your feet to pieces).  Girls with excessively long hair really ought to have some kind of neck/back support to carry said hair safely.  Frogs should be treated with caution on the grounds they may not have started out as frogs.  Incidentally it is the view of the Queen and her Council that there are plenty of princes out there who ought to be turned into frogs.


Broomsticks are to be assumed to be magical, rather than merely household equipment.  Those not entitled to fly them should be aware broomsticks can be temperamental and have been known either to refuse to fly or, worse, take off and dump their unwanted rider from a great height.  Anyone trying to break a witch’s protective spell on her broom quite frankly deserves all they get from said witch in retailiation.  Given the other tendency of broomsticks to turn housework into a watery disaster, all species, including witches, are to treat these things with the utmost care.


Spinning wheels are to be treated with caution though in fairness with a big needle on them this ought to be the case anyway.  Invitations to christenings, weddings and so on will be thought out very carefully indeed.  Snubs can lead to disasters.  Big bad wolves will be wary of little pigs, some of them can be smarter than they appear.  Indeed they plan to make sure they’re not the ones bringing home the bacon!!  Some of them know how to operate a cauldron, an open fire and have recipe books saying exactly what can be done with boiled wolf.  The Queen and Council issue this warning given wolves are an endangered species.  Little pigs are not.


Girls seeking to cheat wildlife out of their chairs, beds and breakfast will not escape suitable punishment just because they’re blonde and look cute.  Magical and fairy tale creatures have every right to live in peace on the basis that they live in peace with others.  However the Queen and her Council will fully support girls in red hoods when they seek to defend themselves against hungry wolves.  The latter should be aware there are other creatures they can eat (though it would be advisable if they avoid clever pigs) and going for humanoids is not a good move given the latter’s tendency to blast away anything threatening them with weaponry (on Earth) or magical weapons (Fairy Kingdom).



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