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MONSTERS, COOKING AND ROHERUM

29/12/2012

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Monstrous creatures are mainly created by those witches and wizards who are determined not to fit in with any society they don’t dominate. There are natural monsters too, beasts with claws and fangs, kind of like mini dinosaurs, who keep themselves to themselves with good cause.  They have no wish to be exploited by the evil or destroyed by the “good”.  They could do with a Simon King like guy broadcasting a sympathetic portrayal of them. 

The Kingdom as a whole uses creatures like unicorns (though in fairness they are treated well and rewarded for their service) but doesn’t see the need to support habitats or to leave creatures alone to lead their lives in peace.  It is no coincidence that the most unwanted beasts live in the barren areas.  It is no surprise either they know why those areas are barren or that they loathe all magical practitioners as a result.  These creatures know they’ve been dumped on.

The Queen’s Head Cook guards her recipes and papers as jealously as her boss and sovereign guards the fairy royal powers!  The Head Cook sets the daily menu and those working under her have to cook in the pre-determined way - that is what she thinks is right.  In fairness, the meals prepared are delicious and the Head Cook generally is right but don’t look for invention and originality here.  It has only been the Queen’s insistence that cuisine from other worlds makes a regular appearance that anything new comes on to the menu at all.  Some of these new dishes go down well (lasagne, pizza, casseroles), others do not (the idea of toad in the hole has totally been misunderstood here!  They look for the toads and believe humans are mis-selling the dish because there aren’t any toads in it). 

The one thing the Head Cook is proud of is the way the kitchen works as a well oiled team, nobody goes hungry and the kitchens are kept meticulously clean.

Roherum is also a writer, producing material for the papers.  He also writes all his interviews up, gets them published in book form and archives them at the FNN studios.  He also keeps his own copies.  He sees doing this as keeping accurate historical records to accompany the films he made.  Naturally Roherum writes things up from his viewpoint and as a result his works can be unintentionally funny.  Roherum insists his books for FNN will not be published in his lifetime mainly because he wants to make sure he does not upset the Queen.  The weatherman claims the goblin wants to make sure nobody could query his version of events. Naturally both points are true. 

Roherum is also determined not to have his books reviewed while he’s still alive to take the brickbats
he expects to be hurled at him.  He thinks it’s because he defends the common magical being.  He won’t acknowledge there are times he can be a right idiot and far too full of himself.


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    Author

    I'm Allison Symes and I write novels, short stories as well as some scripts and poems.  I love setting my work in my magical world, the Fairy Kingdom, and my favourite character is Eileen, who believes hypocrisy is something that happens to other people without caring that statement is hypocritical in itself!  Eileen is huge fun to write for and about. 

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