Blog Archives - Fairytales with Bite

Fairytales with Bite

INTERVIEWS WITH MY CHARACTERS... EILEEN - PART 8

30/11/2014

You often complained about being sent out at all hours and times to pursue and destroy various foul fiends but do you think this had anything to do with your personality? You yourself have admitted you can be awkward. Was it unreasonable for the Queen to keep an awkward fairy godmother busy?
Are you trying to say everything was my fault? Yes, I am awkward but with the Queen I was questioning her behaviour when I honestly felt she could behave in a more honourable manner. I can quite see, thank you so much, why the Queen would want to get me out of her hair as often as possible but it would have been simpler for her to listen to my concerns about magical power abuses and to do what she could to right them and ensure there were no further such abuses. It wasn’t just down to my behaviour.

Are you saying you never did anything wrong? You complained about the Queen’s arrogance. Don’t you have some arrogance?!
You’ve got nerve, I’ll grant you that. I’ve made mistakes. I can be arrogant but aren’t we all capable of that? I can swear I’ve never deliberately meant to be arrogant or to err but again who does? I was right to question the magical power abuses. Someone had to speak out. The last thing the Kingdom needs is for the Queen to act as horribly as Gwendolyn did. Someone needs to rein Roxannadrell in and when I was in the realm I was the best person to do so.

If the Kingdom’s existence did depend on it, would you go back permanently? Would you resent doing so?
I’d want to check this situation had not been artificially set up. I’m afraid the Queen long forfeited any trust I had in her. Assuming the situation is genuine, I would go back but would want to take Derek, Jennifer and Edward with me, if they were happy to go. Hell, I’d take the toad Jennifer married to keep her happy. If the situation was genuine, there would be no resentment. If my family were not willing to come with me, which I’d understand, that would devastate me. I would still seek to put things right in the magical realm and come back to Earth at the earliest opportunity.

What hobbies do you enjoy on Earth? Did you get to enjoy any pastimes when on active service in the Kingdom?
I love gardening (watching and doing, though Derek is the real fanatic here. I also enjoy watching wildlife programmes. Occasionally I will go to the theatre usually to watch a Shakespeare play. I leave it to Jennifer to go to the theatre to see some stand up comic! And yes I do despair of her tastes at times. I love reading. I didn’t get much time in the Kingdom, the Queen made sure of that, but when I did get the odd bit of spare time, I gardened, I watched Kingdom wildlife programmes and I read. Some things never change.

INTERVIEWS WITH MY CHARACTERS... EILEEN - PART 5

30/11/2014

You have got your own way on issues where others would not – your marriage and actions regarding the Witch to name two. Are you abusing royal privilege here? What have you contributed to the Fairy Kingdom monarchy?
Definitely not and is it me or is this interview becoming hostile? I fell in love. Is that such a crime? I still feel the Witch could have been reasoned with as long as the powers that be negotiated early enough. I made it clear to the Queen I would be happy to lead the negotiations but she was having none of it. I have saved the monarchy on more than one occasion, not just by getting rid of monsters threatening the realm, but trying to bring Roxannadrell to her senses. I put it to you it was not entirely my fault I failed.

Now Derek knows what you are, how are you compensating him? After all your news/heritage was bound to shock him.
I never set out to shock anyone and resent any attempt to make me the villain. I was trying to shield Derek from the horrors of the magical world. And it can be horrific. I’ve faced more creatures with fangs than you’ve had hot dinners. I’m not prepared to comment on my relationship with Derek but will say I have sworn to use my magical skills to defend him, our family and home. He is happy with that. After all he now knows the magical world exists and that would have been the case regardless of my status. He has the advantage of being married to someone who can fight magic with magic.

INTERVIEWS WITH MY CHARACTERS... EILEEN... PART 4

29/11/2014

If there was one thing you could change about yourself, what would it be?
Sometimes I wish I could be tactful (before you ask fairy godmothers are not allowed to grant their own wishes – this is to prevent corruption and power hungry fairy godmothers!).

Do you regret killing those dragons, monsters and so on? Couldn’t some have been rehabilitated?
No! And definitely no! I’d remind you these creatures had killed many innocent people and the criticism I came in for in the Kingdom was not taking these beasts out earlier than I did! Rehabiliation! Don’t make me laugh (on second thoughts, well done, you didn’t!).

Hanastrew is now a great fighting fairy godmother and has taken over your old role. Do you regret that? Or the fact you left Hanastrew to go off with the human man you fancied?
No. You forget I trained Hanastrew to be the excellent fairy godmother she is and I wanted her to be able to take over my old role. Not only was I in love with Derek, and still am, Hanastrew needed to be a good fighting fairy. We all do given the nasty creatures in the magical realm. I’d have been neglecting my duty if I hadn’t trained her well. I dislike this line of questioning. I gave the Kingdom notice I was leaving and Hanastrew was ready to take over. I did not leave the Kingdom when it was vulnerable. I am entitled to have a life of my own, am I not?

Are you sure you couldn’t come to some settlement with the Queen?
I did try repeatedly to make my regal cousin see some sort of sense. What was the point of keeping an obviously discontented fairy godmother in the magical realm against her will when, with some compromises on both sides, that same godmother (me!) could have come back to the Kingdom as and when it needed me and for the rest of the time have the happy life on Earth I craved? I also maintain it has done my cousin no harm to realise she cannot bully everyone. My attitude has also encouraged the Council to be more questioning. I believe that will help the Kingdom over all. The Queen must be accountable.

Just how close were you to the Witch? Did this affect your judgement? You were far kinder to her than you would have been for anyone else doing what she did.
The Witch and I were 3 years apart in age and met regularly as she carried out her duties in keeping fairies such as myself on our toes and I carried out mine, thwarting the likes of her! Our relationship was a professional rivalry and over time, as with other rivalries of this type, you develop respect for your opponent, get talking to them and so on. I was always aware of what she was capable of and if it was in her interests to kill me she would so my judgement wasn’t affected. There was a window of opportunity where we could have negotiated a settlement with the Witch which the Queen blew with her arrogant attitude. The Witch does have some genuine grievances against fairy royal treatment, hence my sympathy.

INTERVIEWS WITH MY CHARACTERS...EILEEN - PART 6

28/11/2014

If you could interview anyone in history who would it be? •Jesus, if it were allowed, as I’d like to ask what made Him choose to do miracles for some people but not for others. If it weren’t allowed, I’d interview Lazarus. I strongly suspect his attitude to death changed completely after Jesus brought him back. If there was ever anyone not to fear death, it is Lazarus.

What do you hate most about living on Earth?
War and pollution. Humans are the worst species for both these things. I also loathe the way prices keep going up. I’d rather they just picked a price and stuck to it for a while.

Have you ever misused magic?
Define misuse! I have always tried to use the right spell, and its ingredients, for whatever occasion . Yes I’ve bent the rules more times than I care to recount but every decent magical being has done that. I’ve not transformed anyone not willing to undergo that change (and there are loads of fairy godmothers who can’t claim that).

What are your hobbies on Earth (and do you use magic to help you with them)?
Gardening, reading, keeping a general eye on Jenny and her toddler son, trying to prevent the Queen from getting through with an army of magical beings to drag me back”

INTERVIEWS WITH MY CHARACTERS... EILEEN - PART 3

28/11/2014

How did you feel when Derek found out what you are? Did you betray him?
I was horrified but not surprised. I’ve known since my defection there was a risk the Queen would try to pull the rug out from under my feet by telling Derek my past. It says far more about her than it does about me. I haven’t betrayed Derek. Nor will I ever do so. All I tried to do is protect him. You don’t expose anyone you love to the horrors of the magical world.

Did you misjudge Wes and Stan? They are fine members of society now. •No!
They weren’t at the time of my involvement with them! They were rogues, fighters and scallywags. I am pleased they’ve improved. The Lady Isabel will be the making of Wes. I wish them well. Yes, me, the godmother with the granite balls (I’ve heard what the sprites say about me and there was worse than that!).

Could you go back to the Kingdom permanently? Would you stay on Earth if Derek died?
No. My place is on Earth now. The Kingdom is getting along fine without me and it can carry on doing so! As for when Derek dies, I should still be here for Jennifer and Edward to support them.

Would you consider giving Roherum an indepth interview given he is the equivalent to Jeremy Paxman?
No! I would rather watch paint dry. It’d be quicker for one thing.

INTERVIEWING MY CHARACTERS... EILEEN - PART 2

26/11/2014

Interviewing your characters can show you new insights into them. Eileen continues to chat...

Which spell was your favourite?
I was always a dab hand at turning errant beings into amphibians at considerable speed. A basic spell but one which no fairy should be without.

Do you miss living in the magical world?
Generally no but I miss Hanastrew and Melanbury who were great to train and work with. Both girls will serve the Fairy Kingdom well. Certain things about the magical world had advantages – I rarely had to queue for anything given most things can be summoned or created magically. I don’t miss the power abuses and always having to kill dragons!

Do you see yourself as an ambassador for magical beings generally?
Definitely not! I know I have a mouth on me as wide as Scotland’s Moray Firth!

Is your relationship with Jennifer as it should be? Has she forgiven you yet? How do you cope?

These questions border on the impertinent but knowing my daughter she’d answer it so I’d better! Our relationship is better than it has been but things are not fullly rectified. Jennifer does still resent me for my past. I cope with it because I have to, Jennifer’s attitude is understandable and by being conciliatory I hope it will speed up the process of her coming around to the idea she’s half magical. Now that she’s a mum, I think as Edward grows she’ll understand better the dilemmas I faced and why I acted the way I did.

ENJOYING MY WRITING

25/11/2014

What part of a story/novel/script do you enjoy writing the most? The first or final drafts?
I must admit I feel a certain amount of relief once I’ve written the first draft as I know I then I have something to work with and knock into shape. I know I overwrite so I know a lot will have to come out but there is satisfaction to be had “feeling” your story tighten up as you get rid of repetitions, tighten up the prose and so on. What can be tough is knowing what is the final draft. There can be a temptation to keep working on something and never let it go out into the big bad world! I love coming up with the idea in the first place and then getting it on to paper, editing is a joy for the reasons given above, but coming to the end is satisfying and sad at the same time as I know I’ve then got to move on. Having said that, it opens up the door to getting on with a new story and enjoying the writing experience all over again!

What type of writing do you like most – short stories, novels or scripts?
I love all of them and for ages I found short stories almost impossible to write given the confinements of word counts (at least with novels you do have some room to expand your characters and plot). It is when I realised, having read this, that a short story is only meant to capture one moment in time I found I could write these and am delighted I’ve had a few published on the web, been shortlisted in Writers’ News for a few and been commended at the Winchester Writers’ Conference. I love reading short stories too – when there isn’t time for a novel but you need a reading fix, these are ideal. I love with novels being able to explore my characters’ motivations and back stories more as long as these propel the plot along. I also enjoy ending chapters on cliffhangers! Scripts I adore as I’ve always enjoyed writing dialogue and I love listening to radio scripts. I love the way radio can take you anywhere and everywhere without having to leave the house and would love to write professionally for it

INTERVIEWING MY CHARACTERS... EILEEN PART 1

23/11/2014

EILEEN IN CONVERSATION...
What is the single thing you regret most?
Ever allowing myself to be used by the Queen. I should have quizzed her a lot sooner than I did as to why she was leaving the dangerous work to me. It wasn’t just because of her accession I swear it. Even before she tragically lost her mother, she seemed to like others to do the dodgy, difficult, dangerous stuff. I should’ve realised I was being used earlier. I guess I was kept too busy precisely to stop me from thinking!

What would you say was your greatest strength?
Guts I suppose and determination to keep going. I’ve needed both to see me through a lot of dangerous situations. And the people know I’m honest. I think that’s helped me in my dealings with them.

If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
I know I’m stubborn. I’m aware that’s sometimes a good thing as it helps me keep going but I also know it has got in my way, given me more difficulties than I needed. I need a better sense of perspective at times.

What would you say was your finest achievement?
Magically being the finest aim with a wand in five centuries and when the Queen kept sending me on dangerous missions managing to come back alive every time! Laughing in Brankaresh’s face whenever he looked disappointed at that. Not many laugh in the face of a Chief Wizard and live to tell the tale! Personally, meeting and falling for Derek, marrying him and giving birth to Jennifer. I’ve managed to have two lives – magical and non-magical.

Do you regret not breaking the news of your daughter’s half-magical blood to Jenny sooner?
No. She had a normal life for as long as possible before my darling cousin (does sarcasm come across well in print?) interfered. I appreciate if Jennifer grew up with the idea of being half-magical, it might have been easier for her to accept but all in all I still stand by my decision to shield Jennifer.

Would you have killed the Witch if necessary?
I would have done everything I could to have avoided the necessity. I maintain that the Witch was greatly misunderstood. More diplomacy on the part of the Queen and her government would have made it more difficult for the Witch to justify being violent.

WHY I WRITE FAIRYTALES AT ALL...

23/11/2014

Why write fairytales?
Because I’ve always loved them. Because they can be long or short. There’s a lot of scope for humour (or tragedy) in them. They give a strong message via an entertaining story. They make you think. There isn’t necessarily a happy ending either. I also think fairytales stick in the memory for longer than most story forms because of the reasons I’ve given here. You can pitch fairytales for all ages too (naturally adjusting the writing style and language used accordingly).

Where DO you get your ideas?
From life - my own and others! I look for interesting character traits. I look for odd costumes (and then think of what kind of character could wear them). I never “lift” directly from a person. I combine attributes (looks etc) with general traits (stubborn as hell, doormat etc) to come up with something new. Proverbs can inspire ideas and I find there’s nothing to beat playing the “what if?” game. That has set off all sorts of writing ideas for me.

What is the best form of fiction - short story or novel?
Books could literally be written on this and it wouldn’t surprise me if they had been. I ask why choose! Both are wonderful forms. Both have classic examples. Both are entertaining, make you think, invent other worlds and stretch your mind. Both should have memorable characters and incidents. The big advantage of the novel of course is you can have a lot more of those than you can in a short story. Yet the short story’s big advantage is that having to focus on fewer characters and incidents makes it a more intense tale. It all depends on whether you fancy a long or short literary “drink”! For short stories, I generally prefer the word count to be under 5,000 (and ideally for me to be between 1000 and 2500, I like my short fiction to be literally short and sharp!). I also like a well crafted piece of flash fiction. I admit though the novel in many ways can be “easier” to do - you have the space in which to expand your ideas and cut backs can always be done later.

WHAT MY CHARACTERS REALLY WANT WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE... PART 3

19/11/2014

L’Evallier (Chief Elf)
Like the Queen, a stable government and an end to external threats to it. Unlike the Queen, he longs for truly honourable behaviour from his monarch (she of course believes she already does this). He particularly wishes the Queen would not try to force Eileen and Jennifer into the Fairy Kingdom and frets about the consequences given neither lady is likely to take this well. Indeed when Jennifer is abducted, she does not! On a minor note, he hates contractions and would love to see them abolished.

Hanastrew
To be a worthy protégé of her heroine, Eileen. To run the fairy squad efficiently and for each member, including herself, to be brave and resourceful. Hanastrew sympathizes with Eileen’s view fairy government must be honourable and honest. While Hanastrew never understood Eileen’s defection, the young fairy did understand the older one’s anger at magical power abuses. Hanastrew would also like to eat as much chocolate as possible without putting on any weight but even a fairy godmother cannot arrange that. Certain laws, what goes in must go out (or on the hips) must always be obeyed!

Melanbury
To begin with, it was to have a proper marriage with L’Evallier. Now their union has been consummated, Melanbury has become more ambitious. Far from wanting to stay the doting, dutiful noble elf who seeks to please her family and follow the old ways (notably staying at home and producing baby elves), Melanbury has been active in Palace life, helping Eloise and Peter adjust to new life together after their tragedies. Now Melanbury is the Queen’s correspondence secretary and loving the role. L’Evallier does not approve, given he too is a disciple of the old ways, but he can see his wife is happy and that benefits him (at least when they’re both off duty!) so Melanbury is achieving a happy personal life and a career. Now she doesn’t want anyone wrecking this.

WHAT MY CHARACTERS REALLY WANT WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE... PART 2

16/11/2014

Jennifer Williams (nee Paige)
Really does want to live her life in peace but that includes her mother not giving her additional grief. This means for Jennifer no magic but she’s finding it difficult to resist using magic altogether and Eileen knows that urge to “perform” will strengthen. Eileen, as ever, has not mentioned this. Jennifer would also like her mother to be totally honest with her! Also wants to live with Paul and Edward and to have a “normal” life.

The Chief Witch
Revenge. In her earlier years, she relished her friendship with Eileen but Queen Gwendolyn’s admittedly bad treatment of the Witch and her abandoned father, fuelling the Witch’s resentment and hatred of fairy royals, overcome that affection. The Witch really wanted to hit back at those who caused her hurt. Sadly, she took the view that if the innocent got in the way, too bad.

Brankaresh (Chief Wizard)
Power (especially magical gifts), riches and all that come with these things. Ideally a totally subservient Fairy Queen so his other fantasies get fulfilled as well! He has very little chance of achieving the latter unless he can use significant force, as he knows, and for that he needs more magical powers. The best source for that is of course the Queen! So he plays the game, pretending to be her devoted servant when he would far rather she was his devoted servant.

WHAT I LOATHE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS... THE FAIRY QUEEN AND EILEEN

16/11/2014

The Queen has difficulty understanding the need to distinguish between confidence and arrogance. It didn’t occur to her Eileen would resent continually being sent out on dangerous missions, that it definitely looked as if Eileen was being sent out of the way which would get up anyone’s nose.

The Queen, believing duty is all, feels that must automatically make her right, which it doesn’t. The Queen does acknowledge she needs L’Evallier as a kind of conscience which is to her credit but she has the ability of her ancestor, Gwendolyn, to aggravate everyone. The Queen desperately needs to learn to be more humble. Sadly her brief overthrow did not bring about that positive change. It made the Queen paranoid about keeping her family with her, which was not good news for Eileen or Jenny.

Eileen
Eileen can mishandle relationships. Tact is a foreign language to her. She’s happy to deceive Derek about who and what she is (though she feels she’s protecting him) but would be the first to complain if someone did that to her. Hypocrisy isn’t a problem for Eileen (which helps make her fun to write for!).

She likes freedom of choice but is stunned when Jennifer marries Paul. Eileen does not take this graciously. She snipes at Paul. This looks suspiciously like sulking her daughter did not listen to her! Eileen likes to run the world her way, any world come to that. She has more in common with the Queen than she cares to admit and even more with the Witch!

Both the Queen and Eileen can blunder their way through situations. Best thing to do? Don't get in the way!

WHAT MY CHARACTERS REALLY WANT WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE...

16/11/2014

Eileen Paige
Really does want to live in peace with Derek, Jenny, Edward and if she must with Paul too. Eileen is condemned as selfish for taking a stance practically anyone else in the magical realm in the same position would take. Eileen cannot think of anyone in the Fairy Kingdom who really would give up their chance of a successful relationship for the opportunity of being blasted away by yet another dragon! She's only too well aware that if you have a chance to get away from dragons, that chance is only likely to come once and it is best to take it immediately.

The Fairy Queen, Roxannadrell
A quiet life where nobody challenges her, accepts her considered wisdom (instead of questioning it all the time a la Eileen) and where everybody sticks to their allotted role in life. A life where inventions or straight “borrowings” from Earth are not misused the way she feels fairy-vision has been. A life where her records are up to date and not written in some awful calligraphy that’s all so easy to misread, sometimes with dreadful consequences. A life where L’Evallier praises her – sometimes at least.

INTRODUCING MELANBURY AND RODISH

15/11/2014

Melanbury
Melanbury, aristocratic through and through, happily discovers love and passion with her husband, L’Evallier (though their ancestors would consider this undignified, such things are meant to be discreetly enjoyed whereas everyone in the Kingdom knows the pair are wildly in love). She discovers the joy of working by becoming secretary to the Queen (particularly dealing with correspondence) even though L’Evallier is dubious about this. (Wives working are not to be encouraged). Melanbury knows how to “work” her husband, has discovered sex is a great persuader and has no trouble getting her own way!

Rodish
The much missed Rodish could be said to be the dwarf’s dwarf. No mine was too deep for him to work in, he had an impressive gold finding record and was a stable, courageous member of the Queen’s Council and eventually Council Leader (though he refused to wear the red tights). Rodish, along with L’Evallier, came to question Brankaresh’s loyalty and motives. Rodish was eventually set up by Brankaresh go to an unpleasant fate of the Chief Witch’s choosing, though even she put up a placard on his gibbet commending his courage, something she had never done for anyone else.

WHAT I LOATHE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS... BRANKARESH

15/11/2014

It’s a question of where to start with Brankaresh, the Queen’s Chief Wizard. He’s power hungry, sexist and known to kill to advance his career. He does not believe in waiting for dead men’s shoes! Indeed he has been responsible for the dead men being dead. And taking their shoes!

He mistakenly feels he can force the Queen’s hand and plans to marry her to gain access to the vast powerhouse of spells the fairy royals own. The fact she’s gorgeous is a bonus but Manatrix, an old rival, feels Brankaresh would make love to a gargoyle if it helped his career. He's right.

Brankaresh ends up allying himself with the Witch and together they do briefly overthrow the Queen but it all ends in tears - and the Queen is one of those characters determined to ensure they’re not hers. And Eileen? Well it was mutual loathing on sight for Brankaresh and Eileen. Eileen repeatedly warned the Queen about Brankaresh's "smarmy" behaviour. It gave Eileen no pleasure to be proven right when the Queen was briefly overthrown by him. What it did give Eileen was a major headache - leave things alone and Brankaresh gets away with it. Intervene and risk your own life and those of your family, the ones you gave up everything to have in the first place, since Brankaresh and the Witch would not/did not believe in containing vengeance to just the one dimension,

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS...ROHERUM

14/11/2014

Roherum is renowned for being the Kingdom’s berk but he thinks he’s the first word in journalism. Sadly he’s the last word too and for him decent gossip is the same as a well written investigative report. Has long term rivalry with weatherman who covets Roherum’s presenting job.

Roherum surprises all now and again as he can ask incisive questions. It’s a pity it’s a rarity and the banality isn’t. He’s unaware he also acts as light relief for his monarch when the Queen finds Council sessions that little bit too much. She can always rely on Roherum to come up with something mind numbingly stupid!

Roherum is unique in that he has led to many throughout the Kingdom and in government to question the magical realm's policy of nicking good ideas from planets like Earth and using them for its own ends. In this case it was the pinching of television and renaming it fairyvision. Roherum is to great journalism what Ernie, the Fastest Milkman in the West is to classical music. There is a huge awareness that if there was no fairyvision, there would be no Roherum. He is aware of it and milks his role for all its worth. Funnily enough he doesn't do it for financial gain but to get his "brand out there". It's what they do on Earth. He hasn't twigged it's a good enough reason in itself to get him disliked!

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS... HANASTREW

12/11/2014

Hanastrew has become the Kingdom’s armoured division and is a brilliant squad leader in terms of courage and tactics. Her ex-mentor was Eileen though Hanastrew does not understand why Eileen chose to defect. For Hanastrew, the magical world and the ability to magic villains to pieces is everything. The fact Hanastrew is paid to magic villains to pieces is icing on the cake given she would do it for free if she had to do so. Having said that as the Queen becomes more militant against Eileen, Hanastrew does start to realize just why Eileen was getting fed up with the magical world and wanted to leave. It would never be an option for Hanastrew though.

Hanastrew develops her range of spells too but falls foul of L’Evallier for eavesdropping on him. She is, however, good friends with his wife, Melanbury. An honourable character, the Queen could do worse than follow Hanastrew’s example. Sadly, the monarch is unlikely to do so. Hanastrew, like Eileen, is increasingly putting her life at risk more often. Hanastrew, unlike Eileen who was her own, does have the back up of the fairy squad, that elite band who are the ones to call if there's trouble in the magical neighbourhood. You don't want to get the wrong side of this girl's wand.

Hanastrew does enjoy the perks of her work - free, luxurious accommodation in the Palace. She also loves her food and adores chocolate. Mind, she burns off everything she eats easily. Tackling dragons on a regular basis tends to do that for you.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS... STANROCK AND WHESPY

10/11/2014

Stanrock, later Stan, is a sprite. He like all his kind is mischievous and fights a lot but, with his chief rival Whespy (later Wes) manages to cause so much upset it lands him, and his colleague, in trouble with the Queen. Stan gets sent to earth with Wes to accompany Rose on her new life there. This is seen as a disgrace. Earth is considered a backward planet. But Stan, Rose and Wes do get to make new lives.

And later Stan becomes an invaluable helper to Jenny though to begin with she loathes him as he and Wes are the literally living proof to her mother’s story she is a fairy godmother. Stan is humorous, does have some sense of right and wrong, and can see bull from mile away. Stan is like a well meaning but over exuberant dog. He just needs to calm down!

Whespy, later Wes, is Stan’s chief rival. But unlike Stan Wes develops a huge amount of courage, falls in love with a high and noble elf, Isabel, and returns to the Kingdom, gaining promotion as the Queen’s aide. That did not go down well with the Council. Wes is known to be common but Wes proves to be invaluable to the Queen and later L’Evallier develops a grudging respect for the brave sprite.

Wes is the one who smuggles the Queen’s oracle out of the Palace when the Witch overthrows the monarch and, despite the odds, manages to get the oracle back to its proper owner. The oracle gives the Queen access to a massive amount of spells and the Witch is besides herself with anger when she realises the stupid sprite, whom she allowed to escape believing he’d be killed by her followers when on the run, took with him the one thing she needed to make her coup a success. Wes faces death, adventure and Isabel. The only one he welcomes, eventually, is Isabel! Wes discovers a sense of honour even he didn’t know he had.

And Stan's not entirely sure what to make of Wes becoming responsible, brave and falling in love. Sure Stan could take the mickey out of the latter (though aware Wes could still knock his lights out for doing so) but there's no way he'd get away with doing so for the former qualities. Wes's courage has been relayed around the Fairy Kingdom and Stan doesn't fancy having to answer to the (restored) Queen and her (equally restored) Council for his criticisms.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS... RODISH

10/11/2014

Rodish, Chief Dwarf, is a close colleague of L’Evallier and is equally honest and incorruptible. He speaks his mind to Council colleagues and the Queen though not quite as abruptly as L’Evallier. Both dwarf and elf were happy to challenge Eileen too, who also respected their honesty but like her cousin didn't always welcome it.

Rodish likes a decent beer and imports good quality stuff from earth. He accepts it is one of the better things humanity has come up with. (The Queen thinks it's chocolate).

Brankaresh, Chief Wizard, knows he cannot bribe either Rodish or L’Evallier and that they both want to do the best they can for their communities. Rodish eventually pays the price for standing up to evil when the Witch and Brankaresh try to overthrow the Queen. Brankaresh sets Rodish up to be killed by the Witch, who thoughtfully leaves him in a gibbet in his constituency that Rodish had gone back to defend. But even the Witch leaves a note saying Rodish fought well…. so he must have put up one hell of a fight. Courageous to the end, Rodish is the dwarf’s dwarf.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY CHARACTERS... l'eVALLIER

8/11/2014

L’Evallier, Chief Elf, one of the most noble of his kind, is effectively the Queen’s conscience. He sees it as his duty to be her gallant knight which, to him, also means making it very clear to her when she’s wrong. He cannot be bribed or threatened.

Nor will he abbreviate any words (though the Queen will if under stress or in a hurry) but his wife, Melanbury, has brought a new dimension to his life. As ever, it was an arranged marriage. She’s almost as noble as he is but there is one crucial difference. L’Evallier is crazy about Melanbury. She, to begin with, is terrified of being in the same room as him, making Eileen wonder what her parents told Melanbury about sex, but eventually the marriage is consummated.

L’Evallier experiences a lot of frustration before that point (!) and is aware he’s not supposed to show emotion. He’s not sure he should feel any emotions either but Melanbury changes that. It’s Melanbury who gradually helps L’Evallier to become less of a stuffed shirt while still being a gallant, honest knight to the Queen.

And, later, L'Evallier really does show his courage when, with the Queen's Palace under attack, he leads his wife out to magical transporters so she can return to her parents safely before he then returns to do what he can against that attack. He is forced to go on the run. He does not think of anything of it, sees it as his duty to do what he can to help the people against the ruthless regime of the Witch and Brankaresh, and knows if caught he will die, horribly. He carries on regardless. He considers it it what a gallant honest knight would do. And he is right.

EILEEN'S DEFINITIONS AGAIN

6/11/2014

Graciousness
Something Eileen knows she lacks and her cousin does have. Though Eileen also believes the Queen uses this asset too much to get her own way. There is more than a hint of jealousy here. Eileen has, again in an act of rebellion, decided to base her main traits on what you see is what you get. She has a lot of sympathy with Cromwell’s idea of a warts and all portrait (though none at all with his method of dealing with awkward royals).

Art
Any form of creativity that brightens the world, whatever world you’re on. The realm recognizes those art forms that focus on the more negative aspects of life. The realm’s view here is that those art forms bring the positive into focus. The realm can see the point of The Scream but see the point of The Haywain much more.

Fiction
Something incomprehensible to most magical beings here. They prefer dealing in facts. Their fairy stories are accurate records. They don’t understand why humans want to make things up for fun. There is a significant part of the Kingdom population who see this as deceitful.

Computers
The Kingdom is wary of these too. PCs make it too easy to pry into others’ lives and Eileen feels humans pour their affection into their machines rather than their fellow humans. The Kingdom is usually wary of any human invention until they realise it could be useful and they adapt it as their own. The realm sees this as creative copying!

EILEEN'S DEFINITIONS

6/11/2014

Regality
A quality Eileen recognizes in our Queen. A quality Eileen thinks the Fairy Queen lacks, the latter being far too ruthless at times for her cousin’s liking. Mind this is partially due to the fact Eileen knows the Fairy Queen is one of the few that could and has brought Eileen herself into line.

Hard Work
Eileen still believes she’s the only one who manages hard work in a way that is beneficial to her, helps her practice her magical skills, and rescues the innocent. For her hard work is memorising skills, practising her skills and so on but Jenny doesn’t agree. For her hard work is being up all night with a screaming baby.

Jewellery
The Fairy Queen believes jewellery must have either gold or diamonds in it somewhere to be “proper”. Gold has to be of the purest carat, diamonds to be huge and to catch and reflect the light beautifully. Eileen loves jewellery too though her items are more modest, certainly not in respect of her cousin, but because Eileen has a grave distrust of anything looking flash. Flash = spiv in her books.

Sport
Jenny loathes all sport bar tennis and swimming. Eileen, while she doesn’t watch or take part, feels sport is a good thing as it keeps humanity out of mischief. Well she did hold that view until she discovered what football hooligans were. Jenny had to stop her mother turning them all into toads. Humanity may never know how wrong Jenny was here! There are some sports played and watched in the magical world but not with the enthusiasm shown by humans.

Heaven
Jenny is a Christian (her mother’s tale gives her real dilemmas here too. What is Jenny supposed to do with her unexpected powers?) so believes in the Christian view of paradise. Eileen is broadly sympathetic (though wonders whether it’s different for awkward fairy godmothers. She takes some solace from the thought God looks on the heart - even when fighting dragons Eileen has, in her way, always meant well). Eileen hopes to go to heaven eventually but is in no hurry to depart this life. Regrettably Eileen has plenty of experience to indicate others who come into contact with her are eager to send her on her way out of existence!

MORE ADVICE FOR LIVING IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM

5/11/2014

Fairness
Eileen automatically assumes this is one of her main virtues. In fairness (!), she does recognize it in others, occasionally even in the Queen, more commonly in the Witch (the Queen senses this and is incensed but Eileen’s far too useful to her to remove or jail). Eileen, however, is no fan of fair criticism especially when coming from her daughter.

Garage
A place to park your car, gardening equipment and so on according to Eileen. She doesn’t understand the reference to “music”, nor does she comprehend why folk are addicted to the dodgy music. She likes people to say what they mean. The one form of wordplay she will tolerate is limericks.

Rap
The best thing I can here is that Eileen fully agrees with the late Humphrey Littleton’s thoughts on this topic. “It starts with a capital C.” Knows humans can do much better than this kind of “tune”.

Rationality
Eileen treats this like fire - a good idea in principle but you wouldn’t want it dominating your life. She also sees there is more than one way to look at something - the rational way and the creative way. Naturally Eileen sees her way as the correct one. Hypocrisy happens to other people in her view.

Climate Change
Eileen does believe in this for the good reason in her old world various areas were made barren thanks to too much magical fighting, leading to the land being physically changed and not for the better. Eileen also feels give the harm man does to each other, there had to be an effect on the planet itself in the long run.

Literature
Any stories that don’t involve fairies as far as Jenny’s concerned. Her views on fairytales have changed drastically since her mother’s unforeseen (literally!) revelation. Eileen reads fairytales warily too but that’s only because she spots all the errors.

Compassion
A wonderful quality in very scarce supplies though in fairness Eileen thinks this is just as true of the Kingdom as it is of Earth. Certainly Jenny feels her own supply has plummeted since her mother dropped her in it. Especially towards Eileen funnily enough.

FAIRY KINGDOM DEFINITIONS

1/11/2014

Regality
A quality Eileen recognizes in our Queen. A quality Eileen thinks the Fairy Queen lacks, the latter being far too ruthless at times for her cousin’s liking. Mind this is partially due to the fact Eileen knows the Fairy Queen is one of the few that could and has brought Eileen herself into line.

Hard Work
Eileen still believes she’s the only one who manages hard work in a way that is beneficial to her, helps her practice her magical skills, and rescues the innocent. For her hard work is memorising skills, practising her skills and so on but Jenny doesn’t agree. For her hard work is being up all night with a screaming baby.

Jewellery
The Fairy Queen believes jewellery must have either gold or diamonds in it somewhere to be “proper”. Gold has to be of the purest carat, diamonds to be huge and to catch and reflect the light beautifully. Eileen loves jewellery too though her items are more modest, certainly not in respect of her cousin, but because Eileen has a grave distrust of anything looking flash. Flash = spiv in her books.

Sport
Jenny loathes all sport bar tennis and swimming. Eileen, while she doesn’t watch or take part, feels sport is a good thing as it keeps humanity out of mischief. Well she did hold that view until she discovered what football hooligans were. Jenny had to stop her mother turning them all into toads. Humanity may never know how wrong Jenny was here! There are some sports played and watched in the magical world but not with the enthusiasm shown by humans.

Heaven
Jenny is a Christian (her mother’s tale gives her real dilemmas here too. What is Jenny supposed to do with her unexpected powers?) so believes in the Christian view of paradise. Eileen is broadly sympathetic (though wonders whether it’s different for awkward fairy godmothers. She takes some solace from the thought God looks on the heart - even when fighting dragons Eileen has, in her way, always meant well). Eileen hopes to go to heaven eventually but is in no hurry to depart this life.

Graciousness
Something Eileen knows she lacks and her cousin does have. Though Eileen also believes the Queen uses this asset too much to get her own way. There is more than a hint of jealousy here. Eileen has, again in an act of rebellion, decided to base her main traits on what you see is what you get. She has a lot of sympathy with Cromwell’s idea of a warts and all portrait.

WHAT NEWCOMERS TO THE FAIRY KINGDOM NEED TO KNOW...

1/11/2014

Regardless of what species you are, those of you that need ingredients for your spells will always use the best quality available and make sure they are responsibly sourced. Shabby ingredients equals shabby results.

Kill all the sources of ingredients and you have a long term problem. Those of an evil disposition will be aware that the Queen and her Council can have a good guess at what spells you will use given there are only so many magical ingredients available to anyone.

The Queen and her Council reserve the right to magical self defence. Those of an evil disposition would be better off changing their opinion.

Those in direct service to the Queen and her Council will keep their specialist skills up to date at all times. They will prove their prowess with these skills at times to suit the Queen and her Council.

It is expected that time to practice these skills will be taken outside of any Council or other official duties due to be carried out by those affected by this ruling. In other words, no skiving off to get your practice in!

If the Queen and her Council feel more practice sessions are needed, this will be accepted without argument but you can be assured they will not ask for these without due cause. They are not in the business of winding people up. That gets left to the sprites.