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  • Contact Form

IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... ABSTAR, THE QUEEN'S SECOND CHIEF WIZARD

31/8/2014

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Given what happened to your predecessor, did pressure have to be brought to bear on you to make you accept the Chief Wizard's role?
No.  I am not my predecessor.  The only thing I have in common with him is the fact we're both wizards. 

But, understandably, the Kingdom as a whole is wary about the Chief Wizard's role so what do you make of that?
I ignore it, generally.  It strikes me that the best thing I can do is just get on with the job and, hopefully with time, people will see I'm no threat and that I have no wish to be a threat, ever.    I want to reclaim the reputation of wizardry in general.  We're not all power crazed lunatics but given Brankaresh's recent attempt to take the realm by force, I know I've got a lot of work to do here to try to persuade everyone else that is the case.  But it will be worth it in the end.  None of us want a load of paranoid magical beings wandering around the world, do we?    

What is your favourite spell?
Probably the one I use to change those who ask awkward questions into the amphibian of my choice,   I also enjoy the invisibilty spells because that's handy for when you've had a rough day and you just want to get away from it all and not be bothered by anyone.  If they can't see you, they're as sure as hell not going to hassle you,


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  ABSTAR, THE QUEEN'S SECOND CHIEF WIZARD

30/8/2014

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Your appointment to Chief Wizard came as a complete surprise given outside of wizarding circles, you are unknown, unlike your predecessor, who took great care to make sure he was known.
Brankaresh was also a murdering traitor.  I guess it proves you can't have it all.  I am honoured to be appointed to the Chief Wizard role and will do my best to bring the job back to where it is meant to be - an honourable post, showing wizard back up to the fairy government, being no threat to anything other than those beings that threaten the security of the realm.

You have not been in the role long.  What do you think your first priorities should be?
To show the wizarding community we can redeem our reputation.  Brankaresh's treachery shocked the vast majority (and those that weren't shocked had also turned traitor).  To show the Fairy Kingdom as a world wizards will put their magical services in the service of the realm and we are not the big threat we have been portrayed as by the likes of FNN.  To reassure the people at large.

You have made overtures to Eileen, assuring her you will do nothing to force her back to the realm and that you will do your best to make the Queen drop her crazy idea of getting Eileen back permanently.  How did that go down?
With Eileen, very well.  With the Queen, not at all.  However one of my roles as her Chief Wizard is not to rubber stamp anything and everything she comes out with but to advise her as well as putting my magical talents into her overall control.  The Queen did take that point well, better than I was expecting anyway. 
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... BALKISH, CHIEF DWARF

28/8/2014

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Sorry to harp on about it but your brother, Rodish, was a highly intelligent dwarf yet was taken in by Brankaresh's treachery and ...
Lots of people were taken in by that treacherous sod, including the Queen, as she has since acknowledged publicly.  So if this is an attempt to make my late brother seem foolish, forget it.  The best people in all known universes have been taken in by betrayers in their time.

There were rumours of a dwarf uprising against the wizards in some kind of revenge attack but you stopped it.
Yes.  I saw no benefit from my people being magically blasted away.  In fairness it was also acknowledged not all wizards are self seeking, greedy or treacherous so even if we could have found a way around the obvious magical power discrepancy, it would not have been right to tar all wizards with the same brush. 

Have you met Eileen?
Yes.  She seems a determined character.

That's like describing Brankaresh as a bit dodgy...
Eileen had left the Kingdom, unofficially at least, long before I was elevated to my current position.
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...balkish, chief dwarf

27/8/2014

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You inherited the Chief Dwarf rank and its privileges in distressing circumstances...
You mean the murder of my brother, Rodish.  Just say what you mean and have done.

Okay.  Have you come to terms with it?
If by come to terms with it, you mean I accept it, the answer is a definite No.  I can never accept what happened to him.  But I can't change the situation.  All I can do is represent my fellow dwarves on the Council and their interests to the best of my ability and uphold Rodish's memory.

You recently unveiled a statue to him outside the ruins of his former home in Amnerbury and the second edition of that statue in the Palace grounds.  Was the latter idea your idea or the Queen's?
It was my idea.  Rodish, because of his devotion to his duties, spent a lot of time in the Palace and so it seemed appropriate he should be commemorated there.  The Queen was all for it.

Rodish and L'Evallier were famous for getting along famously, still not that common with dwarves and elves.  Can the same be said for you?
I respect L'Evallier enormously if only for the way he fearlessly tells the Queen the truth whether she wants to hear it or not.  He respects me.  Probably best leave it at that, though I must admit I am still finding my way into a job I never expected to have.  Remember just because I was Rodish's borther did not mean I would automatically inherit his posts and titles.  The Chief Dwarf position is voted on by all dwarves and I was flattered to be nominated and voted in unanimously.
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... ROHERUM

26/8/2014

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What would you describe as your finest journalistic moment?
Easily the one where I broke the news of Eileen's defection to Earth.  The news had come to our studios directly from the Palace.  Frankly the tone of the press/broadcast media release was terse and it took all of my skills to turn the piece into a useable news item.  I still get comments on my free use of hyperbole and that people had heard nothing like it in their lives.   I should hope not.  Fairy godmothers defecting is not a common news item for one thing and nobody but nobody writes superb, wonderful, moving hyperbole like me.

You never have suffered from false modesty have you?
False what?

Forget it.   Moving on, do you deliberately expand news items so the weatherman gets as little time on air as possible.  This rumour has been doing the rounds for some time.
Yes and I can guess where it started - from that upstart of a weatherman who's always held an inexplicable grudge against yours truly.  I report the news, I do not make it up.  The only thing FNN ever adds to the news is background to the news story.

But even on a quiet day, the weatherman complains he has to do the forecasts for the Kingdom's seven regions, both next day and the five day forecasts, within three minutes.
It encourages him to be succinct, never a bad thing.  Who wants an everlasting weather forecast?
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  ROHERUM (fnn JOURNALIST AND BROADCASTER AKA PEABRAIN BY COLLEAGUES)

25/8/2014

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You are aware your colleagues and your boss all refer to you as Peabrain behind your back.  What do you think of this?
I don't think about it all.  Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt them.  I suspect they're just jealous of my phenomenal success.

Certainly they're at a loss as to explaining your phenomenal success...  can you explain it?
I work hard.  I began as a reporter on my local newspaper and worked my way up.  When the fairyvision was set up, I applied to join it and said that I had the perfect face for it.  To my annoyance I was told at the interview I had the perfect face for radio but I kept applying for jobs on the fairyvision system and eventually I got in.  I wore them down.  Persistence pays.  And ratings for the Fairy News Network have never been this high before.

It is said people tune in to see what mishap you come up with this time...
My wish is to serve journalism and broadcasting.  If part of that means being the Kingdom's unofficial clown so be it.

Is the interaction between you and the weatherman something you put on for the benefit of the public or do the two of you really hate each other?
It's probably best that I don't comment on that one. It's a bit demeaning.
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... THE CHIEF WITCH CONTINUES SPEAKING HER MIND

25/8/2014

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Eileen publicly argued with the Queen over how you should be treated yet you still tried to kill Eileen.  Does that not strike you as being ungrateful?
Who told you I tried to kill Eileen?  I've done nothing of the sort.  I've gone out of my way to avoid confrontation with Eileen because I do have some respect for her and that is about as far as any of my ilk would be prepared to go.  You forget that fairies have treated us witches badly over centuries.  Not all of us try to shove kids in an oven or lure them to their doom by having a gingerbread house (I've always thought that impractical - on a really hot day the house would go soft, yuk)

What in the Kingdom's name possessed you to enter into an alliance with Brankaresh?  Most beings recognized his greed for power (the one exception unfortunately seeming to be the Queen).  Were you taken in by his renowned charm?
Ha!  What charm?  The idea was to use him for his powers and then dump/kill him at the earliest opportunity.  I appreciate now that he almost certainly had that idea in mind for me.  It really was one of those ideas which seemed okay at the time.  The one good thing was we managed to give the Queen a good fright.  That arrogant madam had that coming (and even Eileen wouldn't entirely disagree with that).

Do you regret not being on better terms with your fellow witches?  You seem to rule them with fear.  Eileen got on well with her fellow fairy godmothers by earning their respect.  You don't seem to have bothered with that.
Different strokes for different folks and all that.  I would point out I've had not problems with rebellious witches wanting to defect to another planet to wed a totally inferior species - the fairies can't claim that.  And respect is strengthened if behind it is fear or at the very least concern about what the magical being in question is likely to do if upset.  Eileen has used that to her advantage more than once.
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  THE CHIEF WITCH INSISTS ON HAVING HER SAY

24/8/2014

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You had many opportunities to kill  your nearest rival in terms of magical power and ability - that is, Eileen - so why didn't you?
I have some respect for Eileen, who remains the only fairy godmother I have ever had any respect for.  She is brave, does not kill unless there is no other option and has insisted, when the Queen has argued otherwise, that I deserve a trial and not immediate execution.  Eileen is also sympathetic to the fact that her branch of the royal family has caused problems for my branch (and that it wasn't entirely our fault) and remains one of the most honest beings I've ever come across.  I would have no compunction killing the Queen but Eileen... no, she deserves to live because of that honesty. 

Also if you are ever brought to trial, you would need to have someone you could appeal to that would listen to you, yes?
Yes.  Eileen would be the first to tell you I'm not stupid.  I know Eileen would at least try me fairly.  I cannot say that about our mutual cousin, the Queen.

Despite your respect for Eileen, you and your witches have no problems in harrassing the other fairies.  This does seem inconsistent.
Not at all.  We witches are doing our job in keeping the so-called good guys on their toes.  The Queen wants active fairies serving her - well she gets them thanks to us.  And someone in this Kingdom should speak out for the less obviously likely magical creatures.  That's where we come in.
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... THE CHIEF WITCH SPEAKS OUT

23/8/2014

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Do you have any regrets for the violence you unleashed in the Fairy Kingdom?
You mention that as if it was a bad thing but for a decent witch unleashing violence is part of the whole job specification.  Chief Witches are meant to cause trouble.

Did you encourage Eileen to defect given she is your biggest rival and has bested you in magical confrontations several times?
No - and I'd defy Eileen on being the better magical being.  My range of spells is more extensive - and I'm prepared to use them.

Is there anything you would have done differently knowing what you do now?
Yes.  I'd have made sure Eileen couldn't come back to the Kingdom to help fight against me.  I should've destroyed the link way with Earth and Eileen then could've stayed in a self imposed but happy lifestyle.  She'd have been better off there.  I'd have been better off here.

Do you regret your alliance with Brankaresh?
Yes.  I should've known better than to trust that slimy, treacherous toad.  But at the time it did seem to be the best way of achieving my objectives.  Notice his powers have gone back to their usual weaker state.  Mine, by contrast, have recovered almost immediately.  It's also good to get back to my usual intimidation and threats.  The Queen needs reminding daily that she should not take her position, rank, job for granted.

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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... HANASTREW SPEAKS OUT...

21/8/2014

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You were the closest to Eileen.  Have you ever wondered if you could have done more to prevent Eileen's defection?
No.  Eileen's defection was entirely her decision.  While I am pleased she is happy, any good friend would be pleased for their friend like that, I still don't understand why she fell in love with a mere human male.  It will always be one of life's mysteries for me.

Has the Queen tried to enlist you in the battle to get Eileen back?
No.  I would refuse in any case.  Battles are not the way to get Eileen back.  Eileen is a fighter.  The only chance to succeed here is persuasion. 

Or make Eileen's life on Earth so miserable, she wants to leave and come back...
Only someone totally unscrupulous would do that.  That rules me out.

What is your favourite fighting technique?
For operational reasons, I'd rather not say but I do try to be fair.  If someone gives up, they are not likely to be shot by a blast from my wand.  Resist arrest on the other hand and the likelihood of their being shot by wand increases massively. 

Are you on a special diet given your job means you burn up a hell of a lot of calories?
I eat plenty of protein and, as you know, I love chocolate.  I also make sure I drink plenty of water.  But it's just a question of common sense.  I  need to be fuelled appropriately to be able to do my job so I make sure I am.  And I would like to pass on my thanks to the royal cooks in the Palace kitchens.  They do a fabulous job.
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... HANASTREW SPEAKS AGAIN...

21/8/2014

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You are renowned for your love of chocolate, one of the Fairy Kingdom's imports from Earth.  How do you keep your weight down?
I keep my weight down by doing my job.  Pursuing evil magical beings, dragons etc, fighting them is a wonderful way to burn the calories.  Burn the dragon before it can burn you is my motto and it means I can enjoy pretty much whatever I like in the way of food as I use every scrap of energy I've got when on duty for the Queen.

But as our leading evil being fighter, shouldn't you prefer one of the Kingdom's delicacies?
When it comes to good food, I'm very open minded.  And you really can't beat a bar of Dairy Milk.

Eileen started to veer towards Earth and humanity in general by adopting their food, customs etc.  Don't you worry you might end up being like her and defecting?
No.  I cannot see myself falling in love with a mere human being and leaving my home world.  I fail to see why I can't enjoy chocolate though.  I know there has been comment in the Fairy Times  about this but people should look at my service record.  And yes I am aware Eileen often said that too but it's true.  If I didn't love my Queen and realm, I wouldn't put my life at risk for them so often.
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  HANASTREW SPEAKS OUT

19/8/2014

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What is the single thing you regret most?
That even I have a limit to how much chocolate I can eat!  Chocolate is one of humanity’s better inventions… oh… you want a serious answer?  I WAS serious but if you must…  I wish I could’ve kept Eileen out of trouble.  I did try to help her.  I warned her more times than I can remember about her attitude (bless her, she always encouraged plain speaking in her trainees) and she took no notice (maybe that was why she encouraged plain speaking in her trainees given she knew what she would do).  I also wish, when out on missions especially, I could switch off whatever it is that makes you tired or lose concentration.  I think that would be the nearest anyone could get to being invincible.  I dread the day when mistakes are made and someone like Eileen or myself gets killed.

Eileen has carved a new life for herself on Earth and to everybody's surprise and the Queen's disappointment has made a success of it.  Do you approve?
No.  Eileen had a wonderful career here and I don't understand why she threw it all up but then I can't see what she sees in humans.  I also know, however,my approval or otherwise will make sod all difference to what Eileen does with her life.  She is a law unto herself.


Does Eileen contact you at all?  She is rumoured to miss some of her old companions and that must include you.  You were amongst her first trainees and remain one of her most successful.
Eileen occasionally writes mainly to reassure me she made the right decision and I'm to stop fretting about it.  I'm also not to allow myself to be incinerated by any dumb dragon.  I do reply.  Eileen has kept her magical equipment and we have the occasional talk via crystal ball.  Both of us keep the conversation light.  Neither of us want the Queen muscling in, trying to claim either of us are breaking the Official Secrets Act by talking occasionally.  One thing Eileen did get right was in saying the Queen had got above herself and needed to calm down.  I have told the Queen this sometimes and she says she didn't take it from Eileen so I can guess what my chances of success
would be!


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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  L'EVALLIER CONTINUES...

18/8/2014

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Your marriage to Melanbury was arranged between your family and hers but you clearly did not anticipate actually falling for her.  That kind of thing is generally considered undignified.  Any comments?
Yes.  Mind your own business.

Er... That's me told. 
Sort your grammar out too.

We were all shaken up by the death of Rodish.  Is there going to be some sort of memorial to him?  Nothing has been done as yet.
That is a much better question and the answer to it is yes.  There will be a statue of him erected in his home town, another one put in the mine where he began his working career and another in the Palace grounds by the main gates so everyone sees it when they come here.  The Queen will be funding that statue, the Council will fund the home town one and the dwarves as community will fund the mine one.  Balkish, Rodish's brother, will lead the fund raising efforts there.  He has a very good persuasive manner and, if that fails., is an excellent wielder of the axe so I do not anticipate long delays before the statues are put up!

How do you manage your various duties at Court and manage your Estate?
In common with most noble families, I have a team that manages my Estate and reports to me directly.  I also go down to the estate for most weekends so am there on the spot for problems to be reported by my tenants.  As for my duties at Court, I wake early and work hard to ensure all that needs to be done is done before I head to my estate.

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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  L'EVALLIER EXPRESSES HIMSELF AGAIN...

17/8/2014

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You come from one of the Fairy Kingdom's most noble and ancient families of elves.  Do you really feel you can represent the various species given your nobility and well, frankly, THEIR lack of nobility?
I sometimes wonder who the snobs really are.  All I know is it is not my dear wife, Melanbury, or I.  We get on well with a wide range of people and, as you know, I am not afraid to criticize the Queen when I feel her behaviour warrants it.  I would also point out I can not help my background so would you seek to penalize me because I am what humans call a toff?

Er..
I will take that as a no then.  I would also point out Melanbury and I sponsor places in the magical schools for elves whose family lineage is not as gifted financially as ours is.  Nobody can help where or to whom they are born.

You were devastated when Rodish was murdered.  Looking back at what led to that, do you feel there is anything that could have been done differently to prevent his untimely death?
No.  Frankly Eileen had been quite correct to warn the Queen and her Council about the Witch.  Queen and Council were guilty of not taking Eileen seriously but I feel I should say that when the Witch is determined to kill someone, very little gets in her way.  Rodish would have wanted to go back to his constituency to try to defend his people and so would inevitably have been a target for the Witch.  The last thing she wanted was heroics.

The Queen did have a point about Eileen coming back to our blessed realm...
Yes but the Queen should have done everything she could to make Eileen want to come back.


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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  L'EVALLIER CONTINUES TALKING...

16/8/2014

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What is your real opinion of Eileen's defection?
I see it as a tragedy for the Fairy Kingdom in that not enough was done to prevent the defection.  I can understand only too well why Eileen thought she was being used and her protests at magical power abuse were spot on.  What worries me still now is that she was not listened to back then and the Queen should have listened and acted.  Subsequent events prove that Eileen was right.

You refer to what happened to Brankaresh?
Yes.  It is interesting that nobody has complained about what happened to him.  Even Eileen's harshest critics (and as you are aware I have been one of them) accept that in this case, she was right to take the tough line.  The very tough line.  Brankaresh was becoming a threat and needed stopping.

The Queen has been prepared to accept Eileen's half-human daughter, Jennifer, if it means the Fairy Kingdom gets Eileen back.  Do you agree with that position?
No.   Eileen has carved out a new life for herself,  the girl herself has her own husband and baby to consider and we in the Fairy Kingdom need to accept we lost someone who had served us well.  The least we can do now is leave her to enjoy her new life in peace.  If Eileen is big enough to help us on those occasions when we could do with her help, she should be honoured for it.  It means the Queen will have to eat humble pie, so I do not expect anything to happen here.
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... L'EVALLIER SPEAKS OUT...

15/8/2014

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What are you most proud of?
Roherum, your capacity for banal questions truly is amazing (this is not a compliment) but for the record, I am proud of my ancestral heritage, my wife and the work I do for the Queen and this blessed realm.

How much magic do you use in your role?
I endeavour to minimise my use of magic.  I see magic as being best kept for defensive measures, where common sense and discipline are not enough to protect against evil.  I use some magic to help organize my various roles (from Council Leader to Chief Elf, there is always far too much administration for any one person to see to – you should see my correspondence piles!). 

What part of your role do you enjoy the most?
I enjoy looking back at the end of my working day and seeing I have served my magical realm, my monarch and my people well.  That I have carried out all I need to do and I have left nothing undone.  The Queen’s correspondence can yield some interesting letters (usually from children who are honest in how they express themselves.  How unlike the Council!).

Do you tire of your reputation as an "old fusspot"?
No but I believe the Queen tires of it.  I see it as my role to keep the monarch on the straight and narrow.  Disaster for the Kingdom has always resulted from rulers that strayed off that path.  Someone has to remind the Queen of the rules and the purpose of them.




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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  THE LORD CHAMBERLAIN SPEAKS...(WITH GRAVITAS AS YOU WOULD EXPECT)

14/8/2014

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It is most gracious of the Queen to give us permission to interview you, Lord Chamberlain, and we quite understand that there are some questions you will not be able to answer due to the security issues surrounding your role.  However, we would be glad if you could give us a rough idea of what your job entails.  This FNN series is meant to educate the populace about the roles of those connected with our beloved Queen.
My role as Lord Chamberlain is to organize the Royal Household so that everybody from Her Majesty downwards has their meals and drinks at the correct times, supplies of food and drink and office supplies (for the Council and their meetings) are always maintained, to welcome appropriately vetted guests to the Palace and to ensure their comfort and to ensure that everybody is carrying out their allotted role correctly and if they need assistance they get it.  And before you ask, Roherum, that does not include the Queen.  Her Majesty does not need telling how to carry out her role!

What part of your role do you enjoy the most?
I like looking back at the end of the day and knowing that all has gone well.  When the Queen holds banquets to honour those who serve the Kingdom well it is a privilege for me to meet those brave youngest sons, giant killers, those who defy witches and live to tell the tale and not only that but to serve these heroes and heroines with the finest cuisine our realm has to offer.  The Queen has a vast wine cellar and it is enjoyable choosing the right drink to go with the meal and knowing from years and years of experience I have made the right choice as I know the Queen is always appreciative of that exquisite joy of a perfect banquet.  I suppose you could say, if you were to use vulgar human terms, I am the ultimate facilitator in the Palace.

What is the part of your role you dislike most?
Dealing with those troublesome sprites, Whespy and Stanrock, as disciplinary issues should not really fall within my remit.  There should be no disciplinary issues to deal with and if everybody acted courteously towards one another, there would be none.  I note that rogue pair seem to have settled though.  Her Majesty was right to send them to Earth.  No doubt the shock of living on that primitive planet and Eileen’s presence helped knock some sense into them.

How much magic do you use in your role?
Magic is a great boon for keeping on top of the administration.  Indeed a decent spell I swear is the only way of making sure the filing is done correctly.  I sometimes ask Her Majesty to manipulate time when there is too much to do in too little a time.  Her Majesty always agrees.  It helps her too, you see.  But knowing good food and wines comes down to decades of practical experience as does the general management of the Palace.  In short, I have to know what I’m doing.

Who is your deputy?
Her Majesty insists on all of her staff, including me, having a decent holiday during the summer months at her seaside home, waited on by other staff.  We host holidays at the Palace for them too.  So for this a deputy is needed and I chose L’Evallier, who was happy to agree.  Frankly that elf is the only being I’d trust with the running of the Palace in my absence.  The other Council members would do their best but L’Evallier has a real sense of what is proper, which is more important than most people realise.


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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  THE FAIRY QUEEN SPEAKS OUT...

14/8/2014

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It’s known your great-grandmother, Queen Gwendolyn, made many mistakes but which would you say was the greatest and had the most repercussions on the Fairy Kingdom?
In our opinion, she should never have married the dark wizard.  I know people say he only turned to the dark side after she abandoned him but he could have chosen a different path.  He could have shown her up by behaving honourably and serving the realm in a way she was not. I conclude the roots of evil were there in that wizard and all my great-grandmother did was hasten the day when that evil took hold.  I select this one as the Witch had a child by that wizard, the Chief Witch I had to eliminate to protect this blessed realm.  I often regret her birth!  I doubt if I am the only one in this Kingdom to think that.

Was Eileen right in her assessment of the Witch in that had the latter been treated decently the crone’s rebellion may never have happened?
I cannot rule that possibility out but I honestly believe Eileen is wrong.  Everyone knows Eileen and the Witch were close as children, thanks to nearness in age and shared hobbies, so if anyone was going to think the best of the Witch, it would be Eileen.  Anyone can have that judgement clouded, including my cousin and heir.  The Witch, being so resentful as to what Gwendolyn did (and I do understand that), would have realized she had a claim on the fairy throne and would have pursued it.  Being “ill-treated” was merely an excuse.

You ascended the throne in dreadful circumstances.  Was there any hint of revenge when you killed the Witch given her mother set up your mother’s assassination?
We have always tried to act justly, regardless of what Eileen or other troublemakers might claim.  We had had ample opportunity to “bump off” the Witch and did not do so.  We killed her in combat.  Yes we know you will say Eileen set up Brankaresh and the Witch knowing both would meet their fate at our hands but remember that unscrupulous pair would have had no hesitation in killing us and unpleasantly at that.  We do regret the Witch’s killing a little for Eileen’s sake given they were close as children.  The Witch was a fool.  She should have listened to Eileen urging her not to go for the throne.  We can only hope others will be deterred from rebellion by our tough stance.

There have been rumours there is a direct link between the Palace and FNN and that news items have been broadcast without the Council’s prior knowledge.  Is there truth to these rumours?
There are always troublemakers stirring up problems for Heads of State.  Yes, we have given information directly to FNN, mainly to save time and on issues where there is no controversy.  Indeed on occasion the Council have been grateful to us for speeding the process up and sparing them having to sit through drafting a statement when we can do so alone and issue it without there being any consequences.  We would not do anything deliberately to endanger our Kingdom, our Council, our people or ourselves and beyond that we will say no more on this topic.

How do you cope with the enormous amount of paperwork you receive from the Council and general public?
We accept we are never going to clear it all in any one day and work our way through it in several sessions throughout the day.  We find having three sessions of an hour at a time per day is better for our concentration than having one three hours session in one go.  Our Council inform us of priorities when it comes to signing things into law and naturally we follow those.  Else we work through from oldest document received downwards.  A team of my ladies in waiting help prepare draft replies to those from the public who write in to us and we give the nod to those.  Our ladies then prepare them, we read them through and sign them.  We try to reply to as many youngsters as possible directly as well.

Everyone knows you love gardening and that you have own special patch in the Palace grounds that only you look after but what is it about gardening that you love and how much time do you get to enjoy this hobby?
It is a combination of enjoying the fresh air, the wonders of flora and fauna and enjoying planting something and later seeing that plant grow.  We think this is magical in itself.  We are most at peace in our garden (other than when in our bedroom when we are asleep!).  We do not have nearly as much time as we would like to garden but we try to ensure that we have at least one hour per day.  Yes, we do work very long days to try to get all that we need to do/want to do in during the course of 24 hours.



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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  THE FAIRY QUEEN SPEAKS OUT

12/8/2014

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What do you enjoy most about being monarch?  Which is your least favourite duty?
We enjoy meeting the people and touring the Kingdom.  Our realm is, with a few sad exceptions, a beautiful place and we relish every opportunity to see more of it.  We also enjoy bettering the Council and we are proud to say that now, unlike when we first came to the throne, they do treat me as far more than just a pretty face.  My least favourite duty is a difficult one to answer as we enjoy a lot of the paperwork (writing replies to children’s letters particularly) but we must confess we do not enjoy it all.  Indeed it has spurred us on our campaign to have laws and spells written in every day language rather than the archaic, which makes it so difficult to read.

How do you organize your day?
No two days are exactly the same but generally we tend to exercise our unicorns early in the morning before going in for our first paperwork session of the day.  We then head the first Council session of the day too.  We tend to go out late morning for engagements, where we usually have lunch and we often return to the Palace mid-afternoon where we have another paperwork session.  This leads into a review of the day time with the Council.  Evenings we use for going to concerts, visiting friends, hosting gala events and, perhaps as often as twice a month, we have a quiet evening which we spend reading for pleasure as opposed to business.  After dinner, we review our diary for the following day, then relax and bed.  We are on our feet or studying papers for most of our time.

You’ve described a typical working day when based at the Palace but how does your life work out when you have to be out and about?
A short engagement fits into my schedule as I’ve already mentioned but I do have to tour and so basically arrange a “base camp” at the noble homes of various friends, including the Council.  This base camp becomes a kind of mini Palace and I follow my usual routine from there.  If I’m staying at the home of a Council member, they will accompany me on the tour.  Else L’Evallier sends a representative to join us.  They then report back to the Council on how well, or otherwise, they think I’ve “performed”.  Naturally FNN like to follow us around too!

Eileen has travelled widely amongst the cosmos.  Now obviously you can’t just up and go but when you did have the chance to travel, while still a princess, you didn’t.  Do you regret that?
Yes.  Eileen, before she inexplicably fell out with us, always claimed travelling broadened the mind and that she picked up all sorts of useful methods of defending the weak.  Goodness knows how wide her mind is by this stage!  Still I will give her due.  When she was willing to describe her adventures, she went into a great deal of detail about life on the planet concerned as well as about those villains she had to tackle to ensure our realm’s security.  It is just such a pity she is nowhere near as helpful today.

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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS ...  THE FAIRY QUEEN...

11/8/2014

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Are you ever tempted to fire your renowned critic, L’Evallier, or at least to rein him given he is your subject?
No.  L’Evallier is honest, honourable, hardworking and other positive attributes beginning with the letter “H”! He’s also incredibly haughty!  Having said that, he tells me what he thinks we ought to know rather than what he thinks he can get away with telling us.  That is incredibly refreshing, helps me more than he could ever realise (for a start it keeps me in touch with current public opinion) and we can easily point to him as the classic example proving we do not always appoint “yes men” to our inner circle.  He is also very efficient at helping us tackle our never ending correspondence.  In short he is far too useful for me to get rid of!

Given you are all powerful, why did you not force Eileen to stay in the Kingdom?  You could have done so.  Eileen acknowledges that.
It’s precisely because I could do so, I didn’t!  I don’t want a reputation for cruelty.  Also given our own bleak feelings about humanity, we were rather hoping Eileen would not stay on Earth for long and would hurry back here.  Alas we were wrong on that.  Eileen would almost certainly put up magnificent resistance against any magic I tried to use on her. Do I really want to inflict injuries on my cousin (potentially fatal ones at that)?  I feel it best to stick what we have arranged.  Eileen is continuing to serve us all.

Do you regret killing the Chief Witch?  Given Eileen’s comments about the Witch’s family being treated badly by your late relative, Queen Gwendolyn, do you think it possible Eileen had a point when asking for mercy for the Witch?
No. The late Witch repeatedly threatened the Kingdom, Eileen (to whom she owed a great debt!), as well as me, which we admit is not a surprise given Heads of State always receive death threats.  We were not prepared to allow the Witch to live to carry on her policy of attacking our people. The monarch’s first responsibility is to defend their people.  As for Eileen, she was always too soft on the Witch.  It goes to show anyone can have their judgement skewered.  Yes, we accept Gwendolyn did behave badly but it was not just to the Witch’s family, it was to others too (Eileen’s family funnily enough, I think Gwendolyn saw them as rivals) yet they didn’t try to destroy people.

Eileen warned you about Brankaresh’s “odd” behaviour which she thought treasonable.  Do you regret not stopping him sooner?  Will there be tighter controls on future Chief Wizards as they’re one of the few groups who could challenge you?
Yes.  It is a source of huge regret as we gave him every encouragement to be loyal by rewarding his excellent early work with promotion and royal favour.  There are tight controls over the Chief Wizard’s position in place now, the main measure being unannounced spot inspections.  Abstar, my current Chief Wizard, is happy over this claiming this is because he has nothing to hide.  No doubt time will prove him correct.

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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS...  THE FAIRY QUEEN SPEAKS (AND IS ANNOYED SHE WAS NOT ASKED FIRST)

10/8/2014

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I cannot stress enough how much of an honour it is, Your Majesty, that you have agreed to talk to us today.  Perhaps you can give our readers and viewers your perspective on the “Eileen Affair”.
There is not a lot to say except that Eileen was wrong!  Duty should be everything for such a high powered fairy godmother.  To leave it all for a mere human male still beggars believe and, worse, would have given our rival, the Chief Witch, the biggest laugh of her miserable life.  Eileen should have known better than to give her that opportunity.  Also it would have helped a lot had Eileen not bottled things up.  Until almost the last minute, I had no idea she was so fed up.  She did not give us a chance to solve her problems.  As ever she assumed she knew best.

Ma’am, you and your family have striven for centuries to eradicate the practice of older fairies stealing Earth children.  So with that in mind, do you regret abducting Jennifer and her small child?  Wasn’t that action a kind of regression?
No.  I knew getting Jennifer and Edward into our realm would being Eileen back and I am more than happy to tolerate them as long as they learn to fit in.  Jennifer has to balance two types of blood in her so she will have more difficulty in balancing her skills than a full blood would.  I see this as additional reason to be in the Kingdom as magical oddities are considered normal here.  Jennifer would not be made to feel odd.  I don’t believe I regressed.  Ironically I was trying to help Jennifer not that she will ever admit to that.

You were reluctantly against the fairy squad led by Hanastrew but have now been seen and heard praising them.  What were your “anti reasons”?
You know the Kingdom periodically has rebellions so do we want to equip people with the training and methods available in the usual manner.  We think not!  That was our original thinking and it is not unreasonable in itself. Having said that with the Witch increasing her awful attacks made us recognize the need for a fighting unit to be able to respond nigh on immediately.  We will continue to set seasons, times and develop spells we can share with the squad to help them in their valiant battles.

Eileen, of course, was for the fairy  squad from beginning, so proving she isn’t wrong on every matter.  Are there other issues where you feel Eileen isn’t wrong?
Eileen  had selfish motives to back the squad, remember.  Had the squad been proven to be useless, they wouldn’t have stayed “open for business”.  In general terms Eileen is right to warn about menaces within the Kingdom as well as those exterior to it.  Sadly she seems besotted with humanity and life on Earth do I doubt if we’ll get anything sensible out of he there!  She works and studies hard, which is great.  She’s not afraid to criticise those in power.  We are all in favour of her doing that to the Council but it is a lot less pleasant when she takes it into her head to do this to me!


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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... MORE FROM JENNY

9/8/2014

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Would you come to the defence of the Fairy Kingdom if it needed your help?
Yes.  I wouldn’t see innocent beings come to harm, no matter what world they’re from, so the Fairy Kingdom ought to update its records and accept that not every human is a murdering, greedy brute.  Having said that I still say the Kingdom is better off defending itself.  Mother has rightly pointed out because I am a half-breed I am likely to have only half strength powers (or not the entire range).  My magic is bound to be watered down by my humanity.  The Kingdom itself ought to be able to take sensible precautions against being attacked though it would help the cause no end if it didn’t go around annoying everybody.

Are there no aspects of human life that tempt you to give it up and make a new life away from those aspects? You would be accepted in the Kingdom now if only for your brave mother’s sake.
I hate pollution, war and greed too but refuse to believe only humans are capable of it so my general answer here is a definite no!  As for being accepted for my mother’s sake, have you any idea how patronising, how horrible that statement is?  I should be accepted for myself.  Your comment there is added reason to stay away from the magical realm.  Why go to a place where I am merely tolerated and not made welcome?  How would you feel about that, Roherum? 

Are you happy to be considered your mother’s deputy?  (In law you are this).  Would you back up with your magical firepower, no matter how limited, the way say Hanastrew has done?
Yes but only to back her up and out of love for her rather than out of respect for the magical world (as I don’t have any).  I have been practicing magical defence spells and will keep working at these.  I’ve got no wish to be eaten alive by some foul creature from some weird dimension.  Mother has told me about Hanastrew’s amazing abilities (including her talent for demolishing a chocolate éclair in nanoseconds, which makes me warm to her) and I don’t plan to compete with this fairy.  My magical help should be considered a case of “doing what I can when I can”.

Are you sure your friends cannot detect what you are?  When you practice magic, what precautions do you take to ensure no detection?
Yes.  You don’t think I want to advertise it, do you?  Bear in mind my fellow humans would consider me mad for revealing what Mother is.  They might consider me dangerous if I used the magic to show I too have magical blood.  So when I practice magic, I put on every anti-detection spell and protection charm I can think of.  I don’t want any more grief that that already bestowed by my over generous Mother!  Yes, I am being sarcastic, Roherum. The only thing I have to watch is when I fly.  I do enjoy that so I use invisibility to protect me there.  It doesn’t fool the birds in the sky though.  They can sense me and get bloody annoyed.  You should hear them squawk at me!

Have you got used to the animals being able to talk in your garden?  Do they ever say anything remotely interesting?
Just about.  Ironically one of the few areas where I agreed with the Queen was on the talking animal experiment.  Wildlife really are not here for our amusement.  Having said that, Greyfur, the squirrel, is often very witty and Podgy gives me all the gossip from the bird world.  Their sex lives are quite steamy apparently!  Above all, the wildlife act as an early warning system something unwelcome is coming through from another dimension and I will be eternally grateful to them for that.

As a half-magical being, what do you find your limitations are?  Can you only do  half the spells or each spell at half strength?
One big limitation is being written off due to being half of anything!  I am me, Jenny Williams, my own person etcera etcera.   For the record, I’ve had no trouble with any of the spells I’ve learned.  Bear in mind on Earth mongrel creatures, like cross breed dogs, are usually far healthier than their pedigree colleagues.  So don’t write off half beings.  I know the Queen has voiced the view I will only be able to take in half as many spells at full strength but I’m not sure if this is a canny way to get me to prove her wrong so I learn more magic so I’m playing safe and ignoring this.  I will learn magic in a way that I find compatible.
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if i could interview my characters ...  jenny keeps talking

8/8/2014

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Will you ever forgive your mother for her actions?  After all she did marry your father for love...
Eventually I guess but Mother's as tough as old boots so I wouldn't waste time spoiling for a fight.  I'd be very wary of distress calls too.  Mother is far more likely to be the cause of the stress than to be in need of assistance to escape any such stress.   Nor would I put it past Mother to seemingly be distressed to get everyone to feel sorry for her and it turns out to be a huge great act!  Mother's a great loss to the stage...

What is your favourite work of fiction?
I must admit I tend to avoid fairytales these days, it is a  case of being a bit too close to home for me.  Mother ought to take the same view but I bet she doesn't.  I do like detective novels.  Good fun trying to work out who the killer was.

What is your favourite meal (either cooked by yourself or at a restaurant)?
I do like a simple but nice roast chicken dinner with all the trimmings.  And this is something I get right as Mother has complemented me on this before now.
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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... JENNY TALKS (MAKING THE MOST OF HER MOTHER BEING SILENT)

7/8/2014

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Given you have magical skills, why not use them as widely as possible to make life easier for yourself?
Because I’m wary of unleashing forces I know I’m not in control of and where I suspect those forces could turn on me and control yours truly!  Also I have had it drummed into me by the Queen and Mother the Kingdom’s existence must not be exposed to humanity.  I figure the less I use magic the risk of accidental exposure is reduced.  I do use some magic to make life easier for myself but limit its uses as I don’t want Edward going through life thinking the answer to all his problems is to blast them away with a wand or a spell.  And I would point out your own Queen doesn’t think all problems should be solved that way either.  It tends to lead to being overthrown!

Paul has come to terms with what you are, mainly thanks to blaming your mother.   Yet your mother married for love and gave up a luxurious life for it.  What would you give up for Paul?
Mother also decided to please herself, Roherum.  She could have made a decent match with someone of her ilk in your world.  She was expected to do so.  There is a very strong argument Mother did let your world down.  She has also unwittingly put my Dad and I at risk and now Edward too.  Mother admits there are nasty creatures out there drawn to those with magical blood.  I’m not thrilled at that.  As for Paul, yes I’d defend him to the death, magically if necessary.  Though also certainly magic would be the cause of my having to defend him to the death in the first place!

Would you be prepared to visit the Kingdom on a regular basis to get to know the place and its people better?  And would you take Edward?
Yes but I would have to have cast iron guarantees that I would be going back home again.  Given the Queen kidnapped me, my wariness here should be understood.  Whilst prepared to get to know the place and its people, you should be aware that doesn’t mean I’ll suddenly want to desert my own people and/or planet.  I would not take Edward.  The magical world is dangerous and no place for a child.  Ask Harry Potter!  I would take Edward later once most, if not all, dangers are dealt with.

You unwittingly reassured the Kingdom by being so against being in succession to the throne (there’s nothing anyone can do about that).  Does the thought of being royal really not hold any appeal?  Can’t you use the position to your advantage, the way your mother has always done? I’m happy being human.  I don’t need to be royal. I can see the downside of being on call all the time and very much on display. I concede there might be some advantages I could use but there are disadvantages in being compared to Mother.  She’s a killer for one thing, yes I know in defence, but all the same. I would rather be left alone to live my life in peace with my loved ones.  I thought it was what Mother wanted too when she defected.  I don’t need status.





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IF I COULD INTERVIEW MY CHARACTERS... JENNY CONTINUES TO TALK...

7/8/2014

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You’re so vehemently anti-magic it is whispered in the realm you are racially bias against any species you cannot understand.  Is there any truth in that?
Of course not!  I’m against magic, not those who have to live with it and use it.  I’m against magic because all it has ever done for me is endanger me and/or my loved ones.  Trust me, that’s enough to get anyone’s goat and no, Roherum, you can look up the meaning of that phrase for yourself.  I’m not telling you everything.  I would remind you also that the Kingdom has been vehemently anti-human, which Mother tells me has a lot to do with your past and which funnily enough I can understand, but as you can see it’s not one-way traffic here, is it?

What hobbies do you enjoy on Earth?  Are there any hobbies you think you could take up were you to live permanently in the magical world?
I love reading, photography (digital), visiting historic buildings and humorous fantasy.  I only wish I had more time to enjoy these things but know full well the one wish no magical being can grant themselves is to tamper with the nature of time.  I can see the point of that, it means history cannot be rewritten, but it can be frustrating that I can’t even use my magic to give me a bit of extra free time.  Sure I can blast dragons and foul fiends to the next world but that’s not really what I want to be doing!  There’s no way I’d live permanently in your world, Roherum, but had I no choice, I think I would focus on becoming a top notch flyer.

If you could interview anyone in history who would it be?
Lazarus!  Given what Mother’s dropped me in, I’d like to interview Queen Gwendolyn and ask her why she was such an idiot bringing humans into her world because she set the precedent her dodgy descendant is following now.  The only difference is Roxannadrell uses kidnapping instead.  Had Gwendolyn any idea at all of what she might be unleashing?

What is the single thing you regret most?
Ever discovering Wes and Stan in my loft!  Ever listening to that bloody pigeon telling me to look in my loft.  When I first heard odd things talking to me, I should’ve suggested to Paul we move right away at once.

What would you say was your greatest strength?
The ability to face up to things without becoming hysterical, which is just as well given what Mother came out with!  I have a strong sense of justice and fair play too.  I know Mother would say she has that too but unlike her I go out of my way not to drop people in it.  And before you ask me, Roherum, if I’m feeling a bit miffed with Mother still, well too right I am!

If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?

I admit I do have a tendency to whinge (I’m usually stressed out when I do) so that could go.  I’d really love to just be an ordinary human being.  I can live without the magical world and I know damn well they can equally live just as well without me.  I’d like more time as I always seem to be rushing around.  I’d like to slow down a bit, without using magic.

What would you say was your finest achievement?
Surviving the ogre of despair and the dragon that decided I would make a fine mate for it!  There is something truly scary about encountering a creature known for killing and finding it doesn’t want to kill you, it has sex on its mind!  I hope I never face anything as horrid as that again!

Have you ever misused magic?
No!  It’s fairer to say magic is guilty of misusing me given all it’s ever done is endanger me!  I wouldn’t dream of misusing magic by the way.  It’d be like trying to meddle with a bomb.  You just know there’s going to be trouble of the nasty kind.

Will you be upfront with Edward, when he is older, about his magical heritage?  Or will you try to suppress his instinctive skills as Eileen did with you? Now you’re a mother, do you have more sympathy with what Eileen tried to do here?
It’s not for you to tell me how to bring up my own son but I will say I will always act in his best interests.  I can understand now why Mother did what she did but I’m still not convinced it was the best thing to do.  Mother shouldn’t have defected or made absolutely sure she did such a good job of it, there would be no chance of her past catching up with her.  I haven’t decided how to broach this with Edward when he is a suitable age but I do know I must decide. 

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    Author

    I'm Allison Symes and I write novels, short stories as well as some scripts and poems.  I love setting my work in my magical world, the Fairy Kingdom, and my favourite character is Eileen, who believes hypocrisy is something that happens to other people without caring that statement is hypocritical in itself!  Eileen is huge fun to write for and about. 

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