- You're not as good as you used to be. The fairy godmother will be very keen to prove you wrong and to stop you ever saying something like this again.
- Why do you always look old in the films and not young and glamorous? Disney has a lot to answer for here, as the fairy godmother will make clear before aiming her wand at you.
- Why did you not help Cinderella before? She had years of ill-treatment. The fairy godmother will either not answer this (because she can't) or claim that the difficult years Cinderella endured were good for the girl's soul. (The latter probably won't go down well with Cinders either).
- There's not much difference between you and a good witch. The fairy godmother prides herself on always being the "good guy" so any comparison with any witch will not go down well. She will also dispute whether there is any such thing as a good witch and give plenty of examples from her career as to why there isn't. You are likely to be bored to death by this but it is probably better than being zapped.
- Why couldn't you stop the curse on Sleeping Beauty? Why could you only modify it? The fairy godmother will claim this isn't a personal shortcoming and that the curse was more powerful than any spell she has so modifying it was better than doing nothing, (To be fair it is). Though whether the fairy godmother should go and get help to beef up her spells so she can overcome curses properly in future is another matter.
- Is it compulsory for you to NOT be slim but on the "cuddly" side? No woman is ever going to take that kind of comment well and it is a really foolish thing to say to anyone with magical abilities. However, if you want to guarantee a quick exit from life's stage, this would do it.
- Don't you think younger fairies should come into the godmother role earlier so there is a balance of ages represented in the fairy godmother class? The godmother's reply to this will be brief - No!
- What did you do to overcome rivalry in your chosen career? Now this is where the difference between a witch and a fairy godmother will show up. The witch will not be afraid to answer this question, indeed she'll relish the chance to show off all the rotten things she's done in her time. The fairy godmother, aware she is meant to be "good", will have "quietly forgotten" all those times she spiked another fairy's spell to stop them getting the godmother position. A witch is nasty openly. A fairy godmother is always more sly about it (and could make excellent politician material).
- The glass slipper business... The fairy godmother will not want to discuss this. It was a mistake, pure and simple, and her fellow godmothers have not and wil not let her forget it. Neither will the witches. All can't understand how you could mistake "glass" for "fur" when casting the spell. Frankly neither can the fairy godmother concerned and she will claim she was just having an off day at the time.
- Why don't you advertise your magical services more and boost your pension? The fairy godmother will not like the reference to her age nor the idea of blatantly using her powers for commercial ends. A witch would have no problems with it (which is why the godmother would. Doesn't want the comparison!).
I'm Allison Symes and I write novels, short stories as well as some scripts and poems. I love setting my work in my magical world, the Fairy Kingdom, and my favourite character is Eileen, who believes hypocrisy is something that happens to other people without caring that statement is hypocritical in itself! Eileen is huge fun to write for and about.