- You will never, ever have to wear glass slippers. Can you imagine how uncomfortable those must have been? (Re the mistranslation - I'm not that comfortable with fur slippers either. For me, fur generally looks better on the animal concerned. I have no problem at all with fake fur).
- You will never, ever use transport you know was once a pumpkin.
- Nor will you ever look at a pumpkin again and think I once rode in once of those and then realise just how mad that sounds.
- Fairy godmothers usually have enemies of the powerful magical variety. One good way for that enemy to "get at" the fairy godmother in question is to attack those said fairy godmother cares about. This could be you!
- No fairy godmother in your life means you're unlikely to be troubled by magic. This is, to paraphrase P.G. Wodehouse, a "good thing". It is also a "safer for you thing" and a "more likely to mean a quiet life for you thing".
- If you're unlucky enough to have a fairy godmother like my Eileen in your life, you can be guaranteed she will make your life awkward and that will be long before any enemies show up to cause grief for you.
- Your life will not be turned into a Disney film. No fairy godmother = no magic = no fairy tale = no story for Disney to adapt. It also means your life is likely to be far too boring to portray in film. Boring from your viewpoint is good. It means less hassle. And don't we all have enough of that in life without magic putting in an appearance? People forget Harry Potter had the troubles he did because he was magical, not despite it (there is a huge difference).
- You won't look at footmen in pictures or film and wonder if they were once vermin.
- You won't be expected to go to the ball to dance with someone whom you've never met before and whom you have no idea whether they'll be a good match or not. Is Prince Charming really that charming? See Shrek the Third for further details.
- You won't end up in a list by a blogger such as myself who loves writing lists.
I'm Allison Symes and I write novels, short stories as well as some scripts and poems. I love setting my work in my magical world, the Fairy Kingdom, and my favourite character is Eileen, who believes hypocrisy is something that happens to other people without caring that statement is hypocritical in itself! Eileen is huge fun to write for and about.