Always take out what you can from your stories without losing the sense of them. It’ll make your writing tighter, quicken the pace and if you can do without those words, do so. They’re not contributing anything are they? Less is always more.
Get into your characters’ heads as quickly as you can. Can you sum up their main characteristic in one or two words? Can you sum up your story in a line or two? Are your characters different so you can tell them apart? Do their voices sound different so nobody is confused as to who speaks?
Moments of weakness in a character can be used to strengthen their portrayal. We all have moments like this - fictional characters should reflect that. It is then what real and fictional people do after having such moments that can add or make a story.
Write, then Edit
Get your story down on paper first before you even think about editing. Some authors do edit as they go but the disadvantage to that is it can take a lot longer (will you ever find the perfect sentence?) but if you get your story down, you know you have something to work with. Do put your story or novel aside for a while after writing. It’s normal to think you’ve written total rubbish just after finishing your tale! Give it some time and you can read it with a “clear” mind and sort out what really is rubbish and what isn’t. I can never judge my work objectively directly after writing it. That applies to this too!