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LIVING IN A MAGICAL WORLD - A SURVIVOR'S GUIDE

9/10/2013

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Always buy your magical equipment from a reliable source. 
You don’t want your wand to go kaput half way through a spell trying to protect yourself from the local marauding dragon.

Free "Gifts"
If an old lady appears from nowhere and offers you fruit, a helpful spell or a map, it’s time to leg it as these “gifts” will get you poisoned, cursed or sent on a quest where certain death awaits you.

Showing Off
Never show off your magical skills unless you are absolutely certain of the identity of the person you intend to boast to as imposture is a common enough occurrence here.  If you decide this tip is wrong, on your head be it, literally.

Knowing Who Not to Offend
Make sure you know who the most powerful beings are in any magical world before you sound your mouth off about the dreadful way in which the place is run.  Those in charge tend to be sensitive little flowers when it comes to criticism and dole out punishment that is anything but sensitive!

Witches
In the Fairy Kingdom witches are also known As Nothing But Trouble.  Well there is a whole wealth of material on which the Fairy Kingdom can justify that statement. Naturally the witches claim that material is biased, written by the winners of various disputes and cannot be trusted.  Most take the view that some witches are okay, some are just evil including the Chief Witch and none of them should be in any position of power.

Fairies
In the Fairy Kingdom fairies are also known As The Good Guys.  Similar sentiments apply as for witches though they insist these definitions should be the other way round.   The witches also point out everyone knows who writes the fairy tales (or arranges for them to be written) so it is hardly surprising witches do not get a good press.   Also even if witches (or at least some of them) were declared "okay" officially, fairies are not going to be willing to give up the power and influence they have.

Wizards
In the Fairy Kingdom wizards are also known As Those Who Shouldn’t Be Trusted though that definition came into regular use after Brankaresh’s defection and execution.

Dwarves
In the Fairy Kingdom dwarves are also known As the Grubbiest Species in the Kingdom given their passion for mining.  It is never said in a dwarf’s presence however.  People like living.

Stories and Writing
Stories are the source of all knowledge as far as the Kingdom is concerned.  They salute the Brothers Grimm and Andersen.  To tamper with a story is a criminal offence in this world.  Writers in the realm come from all backgrounds though every story sent in written by a sprite is checked carefully.

Radio
In the Kingdom they developed “fairy-vision” first then radio.  Radio at the start of The Trouble With Mother is in its infancy and Roherum despises it, not seeing the attraction of an art form with no pictures. Luckily the Queen can see its usage so it’s not going to be damaged by Roherum’s rude remarks about it.  No radio stars have yet emerged.

Time
Time is something that everybody wastes, regardless of what world you’re on.  Time on Earth goes faster than in the magical realm.  The magical species live roughly five times as long as we do bar illness or magical accident (the latter usually dragon induced).

Hustling
What everybody in the Fairy Kingdom believes humans do all the time.  It goes on in their realm too, the sprites are especially guilty of this, but this is not commented on as much as human dodgy dealings.  It’s  more fun to criticize others.

Plumbing
In the Kingdom this is considered a magical art form in itself. They don’t have plumbers that charge outrageously (anybody doing that would be transformed into something unpleasant and there is some pity humans cannot do this to those who con them).

Surgery
In the fairy world surgery is when a major spell is cast and involves a powerful magic wand.  On Earth of course it’s a medical procedure.  FNN have reported on this and shown pictures.  Almost everyone in the fairy world was disgusted.  They didn’t pick up on the fact the surgery was designed to save lives.  All they saw was the gore, the blood and the indignity of the hospital gowns…

Alternative Medicine
The fairy world considers these as interesting ideas though even they despite Feng Shui.  Aromatherapy is one of the Queen’s favourite hobbies.  Eileen has often accused her of wanting to smell like a garden (roses usually as opposed to the material they put on them to make them grow!).  The Kingdom is not surprised most humans are cynical.  That’s been a fact of life for millennia.

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    Author

    I'm Allison Symes and I write novels, short stories as well as some scripts and poems.  I love setting my work in my magical world, the Fairy Kingdom, and my favourite character is Eileen, who believes hypocrisy is something that happens to other people without caring that statement is hypocritical in itself!  Eileen is huge fun to write for and about. 

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