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ADVICE TO A WOULD BE FAIRY GODMOTHER

3/10/2015

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Always keep your wand fully charged.
Always have at least one spare wand on you at any time, again always kept fully charged.
Always wear warm separates. Forget the traditional look of the tutu. It gets cold when flying. You'd be amazed at just where the north wind can reach. Best just be amazed rather than frozen as well.
Know where the witches are, always. If anyone is going to want to bring a fairy godmother down to teach them a thing or two, it will either be a rival godmother or, more likely, a disgruntled witch. Why disgruntled? Face it, fairy godmothers get a better press.
Always know when you can get a decent supply of pumpkins. A good fairy godmother must always know how to source her ingredients.
Do make sure you get the words of your spells right. Glass slippers are not the most practical or comfortable items ever conjured up.
Never rely on someone you're trying to help being an accurate time keeper. Records to date show the opposite to be the case. It may pay to factor this in when devising charms to help them.
There will always be brutes of kids who will not believe in fairies. They will deliberately not clap when asked to do so to prove they believe you exist. They want you to die out. Just bear this in mind when doling out the good wishes. It shouldn't just be Santa who has a naughty and nice list.
Keep your written spells stored safely (and ideally not written in ancient calligraphy as this has been known to be misread with most unfortunate outcomes).
It shouldn't just be witches who always have a good brew on the go. Vacuum flasks are almost magical devices and means a decent cup of tea can always be within arm's reach.

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TELL TALE SIGNS OF IMMINENT TROUBLE IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM

2/10/2015

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Everything is quiet in the village/town you're visiting and I mean everything.
The sprites are not getting up to any kind of mischief (they adore playing pranks on visitors but you won't see any if there's any trouble brewing).
You can feel the presence of magic in the air and notice the place seems to have an awful lot of statues and/or amphibians for its size. This is usually the beginning of trouble and ends with devastation. Now is the time to run away terribly fast.

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ADVICE TO A WOULD-BE WITCH IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM

1/10/2015

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Always know where your nemesis, Eileen, is and don't provoke her - unless you fancy leaving life earlier and in a puff of smoke. The only way of dealing successfully with Eileen is to take her by surprise (and good luck with that incidentally, nobody has achieved this).
Always ensure you have a plentiful supply of eye of newt etc in stock. You don't want to be caught short on your ingrdients when about to go into battle or if there is someone, from your viewpoint, who is crying out to be cursed.
Always service your broom regularly and thoroughly to keep it in top flying condition.
If you must go into house building, use bricks and mortar. The place for gingerbread is on a tea plate with a nice cuppa to go with it.
Know your enemies' magical capabilities.
Know your own magical capabilities.
Don't assume your powers must automatically be better/stronger than anyone else' s just because you get to wear a nice black pointed hat. It simply doesn't work that way.
Practice your favourite spells regularly. You may need to call on these in an emergency so ensure that you can!
Sticking kids in ovens does not go down well even amongst fellow witches as the more enlightened can see what a bad reputation that gives you. While a bad reputation in itself seems as if it is something a witch would want, it does bring out the pitchfork and kill the witch brigade in huge numbers.
Pick your battles carefully.

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ADVICE TO A WOULD BE FAIRY GODMOTHER

TELL TALE SIGNS OF IMMINENT TROUBLE IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM

ADVICE TO A WOULD-BE WITCH IN THE FAIRY KINGDOM

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