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THINGS FAIRYTALE VILLAINS SHOULD AVOID

10/5/2016

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  1. Fighting the youngest of three.  It doesn't matter how puny they are.  The rules are they win.  And whilst you, as a villain, are in the business of breaking all the rules that ever get in your way, in the magical world it doesn't work like that.  You will lose.  You will probably die too.
  2. Talking animals  They'll help their master (the hero, yes doesn't it make you sick just to think of it?!).  If in doubt said animals will revert to the wild and literally get their claws out and stick them into you.
  3. Fairy godmothers.  These are nothing but trouble and again usually have some ill treated step child to help.  If you're the one behind the ill treatment watch out as it is not unknown for fairy godmothers to go beyond their remit and sort you out as well as said step child.
  4. Princesses.  In this day and age, with the menace of equality spreading into all universes, said royal ladies are capable of defending themselves and will not simply wait for Prince Charming to turn up.  See the Shrek movies for more on this.  The days of some beautiful but vapid creature  being helplessly borne away by the likes of you are on their way out.  (Not before time according to the feminist movement, who have absolutely no time for the likes of you and will also target you directly for attacking their "sisters in the movement", royal or not).
  5. Getting outside help.  There is always a price to be paid for such help,  At best it is a percentage of the takings (which is another reason to avoid princesses.  How do you work out 10% of a royal personage to be split with another villain?!  You must insist on your rights as a villain to have all the proceeds of anything that you raid).  At worst such help will put you at risk of blackmail - your help will go the authorities unless....  well you know the kind of thing.  Best to act alone and to be magical yourself.  If it all goes wrong at least you will know you only have yourself to blame.
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    Author

    I'm Allison Symes and I write novels, short stories as well as some scripts and poems.  I love setting my work in my magical world, the Fairy Kingdom, and my favourite character is Eileen, who believes hypocrisy is something that happens to other people without caring that statement is hypocritical in itself!  Eileen is huge fun to write for and about. 

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