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EILEEN'S GUIDE TO LIFE ON EARTH - 7

1/12/2013

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It took Eileen a long time to get really used to life on Earth.  She read many books on human culture, history and so on and these things were useful but the following are the tips she herself has picked up over the years since her defection to marry Derek

Satnav
Eileen wants to know what's wrong with a book of maps and an A-Z of the relevant place you're visiting.  She dislikes the voice of Satnav woman who she thinks is bossy (and if anyone's going to do that, it's going to be Eileen herself, thank you).  The stories of people ending up in rivers or up a single track road for Eileen just confirms humanity's capacity for using their common sense is on the wane.

Renovations
It is common where Eileen lives on Earth for a perfectly good bungalow to be knocked down and replaced with a huge mansion of a house.  This to her is not about improving accommodation available but is blatant showing off by someone of their wealth plus their lack of appreciation for the character of an area.  In an area where bungalows are prevalent, to suddenly remove this and replace them with something else changes the area.  And Eileen thinks it is crass.  She sees the replacements as someone having the need to be "bigger and better" and rather sad.

Christmas
Eileen would like to impose the supermarkets only being able to put up decorations, sell Christmas food and so on from 1st December in each year and not a moment sooner.  What stops Eileen from getting her wand out here is the fact people will realise something's odd with the supermarkets suddenly behaving sensibly and Eileen doesn't want to draw attention to magic, her personal powers or anything like that.  Pity really...  it would mean not hearing the Christmas songs so much you get sick of them.
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    Author

    I'm Allison Symes and I write novels, short stories as well as some scripts and poems.  I love setting my work in my magical world, the Fairy Kingdom, and my favourite character is Eileen, who believes hypocrisy is something that happens to other people without caring that statement is hypocritical in itself!  Eileen is huge fun to write for and about. 

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