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EILEEN'S GUIDE TO LIFE ON EARTH - 21

15/12/2013

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It took Eileen a long time to get really used to life on Earth.  She read many books on human culture, history and so on and these things were useful but the following are the tips she herself has picked up over the years since her defection to marry Derek

Sports
The appeal of sport bypasses Eileen as the thought of getting sweaty, dirty and exhausted for fun (unless is with Derek) is not for her but she can see the usefulness of sport.  It can unite people and it encourages human endeavour.  Jenny is fond of tennis and swimming and swims regularly herself.  Eileen could swim but doesn't.  Like most fairies she takes the attitude why swim when you can fly though Jenny has pointed out that attitude is not going to bring home the gold medal for the 1500 metres.  And flying in front of humans is likely to cause consternation rather than applause for an achievement.

Fireworks
Eileen opposes these on the grounds of cruelty to animals (as a fairy she too has ultra sensitive hearing and fireworks are much noisier than they used to be) but does recognize that organized displays can be very useful. She only wishes they were over a couple of nights only so distress to pets is limited.  She has been tempted to "magic" this into being but the thought of being caught out by someone and made to explain herself stops her.  Eileen won't explain herself for anyone.

Map Reading
Eileen is no good at this.  Jenny is.  Eileen thinks it's because she is so used to getting magic to take her to wherever she needs to be and besides there's no way she's taking instructions from an adenoidal female disembodied voice.  Jenny thinks it's because she's taken the time to learn how to read a book of maps properly and sees Sat Nav as a useful guide but not something to totally rely on given it will send you up any dirt track if it considers it a road. 
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    Author

    I'm Allison Symes and I write novels, short stories as well as some scripts and poems.  I love setting my work in my magical world, the Fairy Kingdom, and my favourite character is Eileen, who believes hypocrisy is something that happens to other people without caring that statement is hypocritical in itself!  Eileen is huge fun to write for and about. 

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