I like Eileen seeing the good side of humanity when the Kingdom despises us for greed, pollution and warmongering and assumes there isn’t good left. Jenny shows the struggle of being a half being - not belonging to either world and experiencing the clash between cultures. She sees the disadvantages to both worlds and is torn between them. Jenny resents her mother for dropping her in it. Eileen put out by Jenny’s attitude. She had not foreseen Jenny being so hostile, mainly on the grounds Jenny does owe her existence to her. Eileen and Jenny end up fighting for their right to stay on earth and hate the Queen for trying to force them back.
Economy of Words when Revealing Characters
I’ve always loved reading lines in other books where you can tell a lot about a character in that short section. The first one I felt I did well was where in The Trouble With Mother Hanastrew complains about being made by Eileen to use the instant transport spell with its inherent risks of not having all your bits rematerialize properly with one girl recently losing an arm through the method. Eileen’s retort if the girl had lost her head, she would’ve understood the complaints I was pleased with the moment I wrote it. To get sympathy from this woman, you have to die! Tells you all you need to know, yes?
Just as we have a mixture of good traits, bad habits and irritating traits, so should your characters. Eileen is courageous, bends the rules and is as stubborn as they come. How good that is depends on (a) what circumstances she is in and (b) who is on the receiving end of this. The Queen does not approve at all. Eileen is a pain in the neck to her and to Jenny yet when you want someone with grit to tackle the latest magical threat, Eileen is the one to call.
Adapting to Circumstances
How well do your characters adjust to circumstances and/or other characters as they change? Jenny becomes more adept at magic and more aware of what her mother’s up to and Eileen is aware this is not necessarily a good thing as what she used to get away with, she can’t now. How your characters react to and handle changes reveals a great deal about them...